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Look Back In Anger: Josh Taylor vs. Jack Catterall
Okay, so I've heard that this was a controversial one, with The Ring scoring it 115-111 for the Cat, so I thought I'd take a look. Incidentally, I see the undercard had the first Scottish heavyweight championship for 71 years.... why? Lack of Scottish heavyweights? Couldn't I just move to Scotland and knock out a can, and then call myself the champ? That's a lot of vacant time. Anyway....
ROUND ONE: So I don't watch boxing as much as I used to, staying up till all hours to catch fights on US time isn't as appealing as it was when I was younger. I know Taylor, but I don't know the Cat. This is a tentative opening round, though obviously the most eye-catching punches, as they say, are from the Cat. Taylor is pressing, and Cat is a little grabby at times, but I'll give that one to Jack. Actually quite low output when you take it all into consideration.
As I already know the result, I won't be scoring this fight like I normally would, but instead look and see if there's any way the judges could have legitimately come to their decision. If a score is clear-cut, I'll leave it in this grey font colour (color, Fat Yanks). If it's FAIRLY close, I'll put it in blue. I wouldn't particularly say this one WAS fairly close, but, as little was actually landed over the three minutes, I'll put it in blue just for the sake of argument.
Score: 10-9 Cat
ROUND TWO: This isn't in any way a reference to Josh being drained at the weight, but I sometimes like to play a game called "if you didn't know the weight class, what weight would you say these boxers are?" I'd honestly say, just by looking at the daft cunt, that Taylor is a middleweight or anything north of it. The guy's 5'10 for God's sake. That he could boil himself down to compete at Hatton level is weird.
I don't actually blame Taylor for having an off night. Everyone's allowed at least one. Those who are now saying he's done at a higher level. I dunno. He's overanxious in front of his home crowd, logically drained at the weight, and it's a very awkward clash of styles. Two southpaws rarely looks good for some reason, and every time Josh gets close the Cat suddenly decides he's in the WWF. And I don't mean saving pandas. I'm fully confident that somewhere during this fight I'll get to see an action that, screenshotted out of context, would look like a bumming or a blowie. We'll see. Anyway, the Cat again for that one, but Taylor did land SOME decent shots, and really the ref should be stopping it changing sports every time he gets close - it's boxing at mid-range, Hulk Hogan close up.
Score: 10-9 Cat
ROUND THREE: Okay, that's a Taylor round. The Cat is making him look very ordinary in there, and with his long frame he looks like a gangly gay spider, but I'm starting to get irritated with all the WWF stuff now. Every time Taylor gets in range he's put in a headlock. Josh lands a nice right on the inside and Cat leaves with a bloody nose. This one is also a close round, but Cat was too annoying in it. Note that Andre Ward, on commentary, complains about the ref stepping in and warning them about all the wrestling. He's probably thinking "thank **** I didn't have him as a ref when I was fighting."
Score: 10-9 Taylor
ROUND FOUR: Perhaps the most important question is that, in a boxing world currently sparse on dishes: is Josh Taylor a dish? Not a bad-looking fella, is he? The Cat's not ugly, either. I think any serious boxing fan would suck them both off tbh.
One thing I often find as a rule of thumb with "controversial" decisions, is that the majority of the time they're not attached to fights that are actually interesting. I remember John Ryder, recipient of a decision against Gareth "Gary" Russell the other day, and how everyone said he had a bad decision against Callum Smith. I watched that fight and for the majority of it it made me long for the glory days of Chris Byrd and John Ruiz. This fight, too, isn't a spectacle. Cat is cagey and slippery, but every other second I'm watching someone in a headlock or someone's face near someone else's crotch. Irritatingly, there's yet to be one where the face is fully in for that "looks like a blowie" screenshot.
In a way I'm tempted to score this 6-6 for both as it was so bloody irritating.
Score: 10-9 Taylor
ROUND FIVE: One thing to note is that, at least according to the commentary team, Taylor was supposed to win this one convincingly, maybe even by quick stoppage. So because it's a competitive, and, it has to be said, quite frustrating, fight to watch, the commentary team is swaying the focus. The Cat lands a punch and they're wanking over it... Taylor takes one and he's doing shit. It's like their preconceived notions are being adjusted, and so what, in many rounds, is a close, and even quite shit fight, gets talked up as something it's not. That's a general observation, btw, not specific to this round, which the Cat very clearly DID win. One thing I haven't liked is Taylor bitching to the ref.... earlier in the bout he'd motioned to Cat that he'd been hit on the thigh when it was in his stomach, then he's motioning a clash of heads after being hit with a right hook. It's what known in the trade as "doing an Ottke". Not a good look.
Score: 10-9 The Cat.
ROUND SIX: I actually switched off during that round - but then, so did Taylor. Andre Ward - who, the crueller among you will refer to as "the lazy-eyed God botherer" - is getting on my nerves on the commentary. I tell you why. At one point he talks about Taylor being determined to "chop this tree down". Fair enough. But then he follows up with "That tree being Jack Catterall." Yeah, thanks for that, Dre. I needed the clarification. I thought you were saying a redwood had grown in the middle of the ring, I had no idea without you helping me out like that. Anyway, yeah, a Cat round this one, but my interest is waning tbh. It's not a good spectacle.
Score: 10-9 The Cat.
ROUND SEVEN: Andre Ward's just said what a great fight this is. Andre Ward. Talking about a fight being interesting to watch. That's like Carl Froch saying a fight is fought at a fast pace, or Amir Khan saying people are taking good shots in it. One thing I don't like about Fat Yankistanian commentary teams is that they seem to see any single second they're not talking as dead air. The UK commentary teams are shit, but at least they shut the fuck up now and again. Okay, it's on the telly (teevee, Fat Yanks) but imagine you were watching this at home with Andre sat next to you on the couch, thumping his bible over it, and saying the same **** over and over again. You'd be like "Okay Dre, STFU now and let me watch the fight", wouldn't you? You go to take a piss and he's next to you while you're doing it, going "And Taylor keeps getting caught with that left hand."
I thought this round went to the Cat, but Dre said it was a good round for Taylor. Of course, that's the perception thing again.. if a fighter has a few bad rounds in a row, you tend to give him a close one, rather than judge the round in isolation. So God knows who won that. It was bloody irritating, I know that much.
Score: Who cares?
ROUND EIGHT: Okay, I know what happens in this round, and after this I might take a break, so you cunts can bitch that I didn't do the whole fight. Don't worry, I'll be back in a bit to do the rest, but I can't take much more of this. Name me one "controversial" fight that was actually interesting to watch. This really is bollocks. The Cat doing all the grabbing and mauling.... it's like watching a kid with special needs tormenting people by waving around a dog turd on the end of a stick. I actually no longer care who won this. I always think, if you're gonna say you've been robbed, at least do something INTERESTING. Saying you've been robbed when the majority of your work has been a homage to Hulk Hogan is a bit rich.
Anyway, that's an overall observation... this round has an early knockdown, then it starts to catch fire. Note that the commentary team are so busy chatting bullshit and listening to the sound of their own voices that they don't even immediately refer to the knockdown. Jesus Christ.
Anyway, that was clearly a round to the Cat, obviously.
Score: 10-8 The Cat.
So, I'm taking a break. I can't take too much excitement in one sitting. But I'll finish this today. What's my scoring range after eight rounds?
I've got it anywhere from: 79-72 The Cat up to 76-75 Taylor. Obviously those are the EXTREMES of my scoring range I'm talking about there. If I gave Taylor the benefit of the doubt in every single instance it's possible he could be up by a point. At a STRETCH. My actual score so far is 68-64 to the Cat, and then I have to add on round seven in some way, the round where it was so crap neither deserved a point.
ROUND ONE: So I don't watch boxing as much as I used to, staying up till all hours to catch fights on US time isn't as appealing as it was when I was younger. I know Taylor, but I don't know the Cat. This is a tentative opening round, though obviously the most eye-catching punches, as they say, are from the Cat. Taylor is pressing, and Cat is a little grabby at times, but I'll give that one to Jack. Actually quite low output when you take it all into consideration.
As I already know the result, I won't be scoring this fight like I normally would, but instead look and see if there's any way the judges could have legitimately come to their decision. If a score is clear-cut, I'll leave it in this grey font colour (color, Fat Yanks). If it's FAIRLY close, I'll put it in blue. I wouldn't particularly say this one WAS fairly close, but, as little was actually landed over the three minutes, I'll put it in blue just for the sake of argument.
Score: 10-9 Cat
ROUND TWO: This isn't in any way a reference to Josh being drained at the weight, but I sometimes like to play a game called "if you didn't know the weight class, what weight would you say these boxers are?" I'd honestly say, just by looking at the daft cunt, that Taylor is a middleweight or anything north of it. The guy's 5'10 for God's sake. That he could boil himself down to compete at Hatton level is weird.
I don't actually blame Taylor for having an off night. Everyone's allowed at least one. Those who are now saying he's done at a higher level. I dunno. He's overanxious in front of his home crowd, logically drained at the weight, and it's a very awkward clash of styles. Two southpaws rarely looks good for some reason, and every time Josh gets close the Cat suddenly decides he's in the WWF. And I don't mean saving pandas. I'm fully confident that somewhere during this fight I'll get to see an action that, screenshotted out of context, would look like a bumming or a blowie. We'll see. Anyway, the Cat again for that one, but Taylor did land SOME decent shots, and really the ref should be stopping it changing sports every time he gets close - it's boxing at mid-range, Hulk Hogan close up.
Score: 10-9 Cat
ROUND THREE: Okay, that's a Taylor round. The Cat is making him look very ordinary in there, and with his long frame he looks like a gangly gay spider, but I'm starting to get irritated with all the WWF stuff now. Every time Taylor gets in range he's put in a headlock. Josh lands a nice right on the inside and Cat leaves with a bloody nose. This one is also a close round, but Cat was too annoying in it. Note that Andre Ward, on commentary, complains about the ref stepping in and warning them about all the wrestling. He's probably thinking "thank **** I didn't have him as a ref when I was fighting."
Score: 10-9 Taylor
ROUND FOUR: Perhaps the most important question is that, in a boxing world currently sparse on dishes: is Josh Taylor a dish? Not a bad-looking fella, is he? The Cat's not ugly, either. I think any serious boxing fan would suck them both off tbh.
One thing I often find as a rule of thumb with "controversial" decisions, is that the majority of the time they're not attached to fights that are actually interesting. I remember John Ryder, recipient of a decision against Gareth "Gary" Russell the other day, and how everyone said he had a bad decision against Callum Smith. I watched that fight and for the majority of it it made me long for the glory days of Chris Byrd and John Ruiz. This fight, too, isn't a spectacle. Cat is cagey and slippery, but every other second I'm watching someone in a headlock or someone's face near someone else's crotch. Irritatingly, there's yet to be one where the face is fully in for that "looks like a blowie" screenshot.
In a way I'm tempted to score this 6-6 for both as it was so bloody irritating.
Score: 10-9 Taylor
ROUND FIVE: One thing to note is that, at least according to the commentary team, Taylor was supposed to win this one convincingly, maybe even by quick stoppage. So because it's a competitive, and, it has to be said, quite frustrating, fight to watch, the commentary team is swaying the focus. The Cat lands a punch and they're wanking over it... Taylor takes one and he's doing shit. It's like their preconceived notions are being adjusted, and so what, in many rounds, is a close, and even quite shit fight, gets talked up as something it's not. That's a general observation, btw, not specific to this round, which the Cat very clearly DID win. One thing I haven't liked is Taylor bitching to the ref.... earlier in the bout he'd motioned to Cat that he'd been hit on the thigh when it was in his stomach, then he's motioning a clash of heads after being hit with a right hook. It's what known in the trade as "doing an Ottke". Not a good look.
Score: 10-9 The Cat.
ROUND SIX: I actually switched off during that round - but then, so did Taylor. Andre Ward - who, the crueller among you will refer to as "the lazy-eyed God botherer" - is getting on my nerves on the commentary. I tell you why. At one point he talks about Taylor being determined to "chop this tree down". Fair enough. But then he follows up with "That tree being Jack Catterall." Yeah, thanks for that, Dre. I needed the clarification. I thought you were saying a redwood had grown in the middle of the ring, I had no idea without you helping me out like that. Anyway, yeah, a Cat round this one, but my interest is waning tbh. It's not a good spectacle.
Score: 10-9 The Cat.
ROUND SEVEN: Andre Ward's just said what a great fight this is. Andre Ward. Talking about a fight being interesting to watch. That's like Carl Froch saying a fight is fought at a fast pace, or Amir Khan saying people are taking good shots in it. One thing I don't like about Fat Yankistanian commentary teams is that they seem to see any single second they're not talking as dead air. The UK commentary teams are shit, but at least they shut the fuck up now and again. Okay, it's on the telly (teevee, Fat Yanks) but imagine you were watching this at home with Andre sat next to you on the couch, thumping his bible over it, and saying the same **** over and over again. You'd be like "Okay Dre, STFU now and let me watch the fight", wouldn't you? You go to take a piss and he's next to you while you're doing it, going "And Taylor keeps getting caught with that left hand."
I thought this round went to the Cat, but Dre said it was a good round for Taylor. Of course, that's the perception thing again.. if a fighter has a few bad rounds in a row, you tend to give him a close one, rather than judge the round in isolation. So God knows who won that. It was bloody irritating, I know that much.
Score: Who cares?
ROUND EIGHT: Okay, I know what happens in this round, and after this I might take a break, so you cunts can bitch that I didn't do the whole fight. Don't worry, I'll be back in a bit to do the rest, but I can't take much more of this. Name me one "controversial" fight that was actually interesting to watch. This really is bollocks. The Cat doing all the grabbing and mauling.... it's like watching a kid with special needs tormenting people by waving around a dog turd on the end of a stick. I actually no longer care who won this. I always think, if you're gonna say you've been robbed, at least do something INTERESTING. Saying you've been robbed when the majority of your work has been a homage to Hulk Hogan is a bit rich.
Anyway, that's an overall observation... this round has an early knockdown, then it starts to catch fire. Note that the commentary team are so busy chatting bullshit and listening to the sound of their own voices that they don't even immediately refer to the knockdown. Jesus Christ.
Anyway, that was clearly a round to the Cat, obviously.
Score: 10-8 The Cat.
So, I'm taking a break. I can't take too much excitement in one sitting. But I'll finish this today. What's my scoring range after eight rounds?
I've got it anywhere from: 79-72 The Cat up to 76-75 Taylor. Obviously those are the EXTREMES of my scoring range I'm talking about there. If I gave Taylor the benefit of the doubt in every single instance it's possible he could be up by a point. At a STRETCH. My actual score so far is 68-64 to the Cat, and then I have to add on round seven in some way, the round where it was so crap neither deserved a point.
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