"yo!, disrespectful Porta Reekan meedeea, Ope Marglalito noks im owt!".
Did any of the boricuas catch Cotto on tv ilegal last night?
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TRANSCRIPTION of the show: Translated by ThePen2
Enjoy!
*Show starts showing the host and Cotto sitting across from each other on a table similar to Larry King and his guests*
Host: “Welcome, guests and viewers. Tonight, we have someone to tell us more about his victories, the one and only, the Rocky Balboa from Caguas and WBO champion of the world, please welcome Miguel Cotto!”
*Cotto and host shake hands, Cott cracks a smile*
Host: “Welcome. Now tell me…you’ve been appearing recently on more covers than a big-breasted Playboy model, so I ask you…is it true that your last fight you and your opponent hit each other more than those early shoppers on Black Thursday?”
Cotto: “Well Ruben, I wouldn’t say that. He threw his punches and they didn’t do so well, so Cotto did his part.”
Host: “So those were exaggerations by the media were false?”
Cotto: “Yes.”
Host: “False?”
Cotto: “Yes.”
Host: “False like a $3 bill?”
Cotto: “False.”
Host: “False like an addict in rehab?”
Cotto: “Yes.”
Host: “So what you’re sayin’ is…that you left Jennings more smoked than a stoner’s blunt?”
*Cotto looks down and tries to suppress his own laughter*
Host: “Between you and me…they told me that Jennings wet himself and everything in there. Is that true?”
Cotto: “Well, you know what happens when you mess with me.”
*Crowd goes “ooooooooooooh”*
*Cotto smiles and host pauses in fear, then the interview continues*
Host: “Cotto…”
Cotto: “Yes?”
Host: “Cotto…”
Cotto: “Yes?”
Host: “Cotto…”
Cotto: “What is it?!”
*Cotto grabs the host by the tie and pulls him toward him*
*Crowd goes wild*
*Cotto lets go*
Host: “Do you think I believe you?”
Cotto: “Yeah.”
Host: “Do you think Don King believes you?”
Cotto: “Yeah.”
Host: “Do you think Margarito believes you?”
Cotto: “Don’t mention that codfish.”
*Crowd goes “oooooooooooh”*
Host: “Well, as you can all see, trying to knock Cotto down is harder than finding a pig with a g-string dancing ‘La Pelua’.”
*Crowd laughs*
Host: “So, I ask you…what can I do to be a top boxer of your caliber?”
Cotto: “Train hard.”
Host: “What else?”
Cotto: “Get plenty of rest.”
Host: “And what else?”
Cotto: “Don’t sleep with women before a fight.”
*Host does a double take, crowd cheers*
Host: “Ah, to hell with it. From what I’m gathering, I don’t have what it takes to be a boxer, but I’ve heard that there’s someone out there who’s been mouthing off—
*Gets interrupted by a man with a beard storming the stage and shouting, he has his right hand constantly behind his back and refuses to show it*
Marmarito: “Where is he?! Where is he?!”
Host: “It’s Marmarito!”
*Crowd boos*
Marmarito: “What?!”
*Marmarito points to Cotto*
Marmarito: “Let me tell you something, I’m not finished with you yet!”
*Host stands up*
Host: “Now hold on here just a minute! This is MY talk show! You better leave before someone sticks a burrito in your quesadilla or before you get suspended from here like you got with the plaster!”
Marmarito: “Calm down, Ruben. They’re lies! The reason why everyone here is upset is because I beat all those puertorrican fighters, and they’re just throwing blind accusations of me having my hands like plaster in my casts!”
Cotto: “The only one who’s gonna’ be in a full body cast is you.”
*Crowd goes “oooooooooooooh”*
Host: “Let’s go to a commercial bre—
Marmarito: “We’re not going anywhere!”
*Marmarito punches the host, finally revealing his right hand in a cast*
*Cotto stands up*
*Crowd goes wild*
*Cotto stands face to face with Marmarito, Cotto says something, but since his voice is so deep and the crowd is cheering so loudly I can’t make out what he says*
*Marmarito swings a wide right hook, Cotto ducks the right hand, and comes in with a left hook to the body, effectively putting Marmarito down*
*Crowd continues cheering and then the show goes on to another sketch*Comment
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Didn't even have to watch it to laugh, I got a good imagination, thanks for the info, will see videoComment
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