Yup, good article, nice to see some writing about boxing that is positive and true. What publication or site was that from?
ARTICLE: 2007 and the BOXING RENAISSANCE
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Well you asked me to do some editing and this is what came out after my first try. The major issue I have with this piece is the structure. There is no nut graph, or standard structure you would see in a standard opinion piece. You need to make your point right away or people will just turn the page and go on to the next article. I will include comments under each paragraph explaining some of the changes. You also have a lot of prepositional phrases…which makes your sentences too long.
2007 and the Boxing Renaissance
by Reynold Wallace
Boxing’s popularity has decreased compared to a decade ago. You can blame a lack of mega-fights for the sport’s downward tumble and near collapse.
your use of passive voice makes this paragraph much longer. You want your point to be short and direct.
Even when the sanctioning bodies, promoters, and fighters came together and made a mega-fight, these fights struggled to live up to their hype and expectations.
Try not to include yourself here, change to active voice.
Mega-fights in an era including heavy-weight champions Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, Rid**** Bowe, and Michael Moorer rarely happened.
more direct to say it this way
Lennox Lewis, who looked nothing short of a wrecking ball at the time, had topped Bowe in the amateurs. Mike Tyson and Rid**** Bowe threw their championship belts into garbage cans to avoid a fight with him.
using active voice
This shouldn’t happen.
this sets up a transition
A fighter should fight the best guy out there. Some did.
Evander Holyfield, whose desire to fight the best and constantly challenge himself, left him swimming in money, glory and championship belts. He also gained the respect of many sport fans and writers.
just made this shorter and direct
I also cut out your anecdote with the Bills...this distracts the reader
When fights between Oscar De La Hoya and Felix Trinidad II or Bernard Hopkins and Roy Jones Jr. fell apart, writers promised the fights would happen the next year.
And we bought it like saps and continued to salivate and build our appetites, only to go hungry in the end.
it is our not are
Boxing had become its own worst nightmare.
Promoters fought to make a quick buck and have their fighter come out on top, and sanctioning bodies seem to let it happen.
calling the sanct. bodies corrupt is grounds for libel, unless you want to get sued or you can show proof of this you need to cut it out
Well fellow boxing fans, I sit here today with a list of fights as deep as it is great, as entertaining as it is important, and as much for the fans as it is for the promoters. This, my friends, is what boxing is all about. The best have finally decided to fight the best.
A few years ago, when boxing was falling apart outside the heavyweights, a mega-fight finally happened. Lennox Lewis and Mike Tyson prepared to fight and the world took notice. Unfortunately for the promoters and those financially involved, the original arena in which the fight was to be held didn’t sell out. Nearly 2 million people would pay to watch it from their TV screens, but not 1/100 of that amount would make the trip to the arena.
The following fights may not be as big, they may not make SportsCenter or even ESPNEWS, and they may be outside the heavyweight division, but you can be assured that every ticket will be sold. Anybody that can make the trip should. Fight fans could be rewarded to boxing done the right way.
just cutting here to shorten
For the rest of the year we can see super-fight after super-fight, but this time we won’t have to worry about anything getting in the way. The best will now fight the best.
super-fight needs a hyphen
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the rest reads ok...you just have some grammar and spelling mistakes
September 29th:
Kelly Pavlik vs. Jermain Taylor. A fighter’s fight. A dream fight. I sat down on May 19th to watch a fight just like this one, and another that was sure to be the polar opposite. Kelly Pavlik stopped Edison Miranda in seven rounds in a war. Jermain Taylor won in a snore. Afterwards I watched Taylor ramble on about money and the first thought that popped into my mind was that Pavlik and Taylor would never meet. Instead Taylor would move up and fight Joe Calzaghe and nullify another super-fight with Kessler. Instead, Jermain Taylor stepped up the plate. He took all that criticism and threw it out the window. He did what every fan wanted him to do and I give him all the respect I can. Unfortunately, I pick Pavlik in 10, but boy oh boy what a fight it should be.
October 6th:
A double whammy. Samuel Peter makes his highly anticipated return to the ring against Oleg Maskaev, at Madison Square Garden. An exciting fight and one that Peter should definitely win, but the point is this is a good heavyweight fight, something the sport has lacked for years.
Then Manny Pacquiao and Marco Antonio Barrera will slug it out again in front of a packed Mandalay Bay event center. I’d have to pick Pacquiao in an entertaining bout, but at this point in Barrera’s career, where he’s as hungry as ever and has vengeance and an apparent key to victory on his mind, it’s difficult to count him completely out.
October 13th:
Evander Holyfield gets what may be his last shot at a heavyweight championship against the dangerous Sultan Ibragimov. Call me crazy but I’m picking Holyfield to win a close one. Much like the Peter-Maskaev fight, this is another good heavyweight fight, and it comes only a week after the last one.
And of coarse, the lightweight unification everybody’s been waiting for, Juan Diaz vs. Julio Diaz. Its going to be a great fight. I’m going with Juan Diaz, the new star of the lower weight classes, to dominate this one with a very impressive performance. Best news is that it sets up a Fight Of The Year candidate next year, between Katsidis and Juan Diaz.
October 16th:
Alfonso Gomez bounces back fresh off his win over Arturo Gatti to challenge Ben Tackie in what is sure to be a very exciting fight. Why include this in a list of great fights you ask? Cause its going to be a big Fight Night for Espn2, it involves a star in the making, and will reach out to that fading casual audience. I think it’s an important one in that sense.
November 3rd:
Fresh off yet another great heavyweight match up between two upcoming starters (Chambers-Brock) the fight of the year will finally arrive. Kessler and Calzaghe will duke it out for supremacy over the entire super-middleweight division. I have to give the edge in odds to Calzaghe, he is hard to go against, but I’m picking Kessler in one of the great fights you’ll see this decade, or the next. In case you didn’t already know, this one will be fought in front of 70,000 in a soccer stadium. And they say Boxing is dead?!
November 10th:
The next week we are still going strong. Shane Mosley and Miguel Cotto will **** it out for a shot at the biggest name in boxing, Floyd Mayweather Jr. The way it was done in the old days, you’d have to fight for your shot. Not only will this be a great fight, but it will be fought in front of a raucous and electric capacity crowd at Madison Square Garden. I’m going with Cotto by late round stoppage, but who knows with this one. I’m think Mosley is getting old and his recent winds are deceptive.
November 17th:
Maybe the most overlooked great fight I have ever come to know, Humberto Soto and Joan Guzman are going to do battle in a very important fight. The winner could get a shot at Pacquiao or Juan Manuel Marquez, and either is a worthy challenger. After a decade of begging boxing to pit the best against the best, it’s a shame that fights like this one are getting completely overshadowed.
November 23rd:
A fight we should already know the result of, Fernando Vargas vs. Ricardo Mayorga. Yes, these two guys are old and washed up, and yes this could be either guys last victory as a professional, but this is going to be a damn entertaining slugfest. I have to give the advantage to Mayorga.
December 8th:
Hatton-Mayweather… do I really need to say anything else? Oh, and if you pick Hatton you’re just thinking wishfully, although I do give him a better chance then most.
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awsome, thanks so much for ur time. ill keep it all in mind for my next articleWell you asked me to do some editing and this is what came out after my first try. The major issue I have with this piece is the structure. There is no nut graph, or standard structure you would see in a standard opinion piece. You need to make your point right away or people will just turn the page and go on to the next article. I will include comments under each paragraph explaining some of the changes. You also have a lot of prepositional phrases…which makes your sentences too long.
2007 and the Boxing Renaissance
by Reynold Wallace
Boxing’s popularity has decreased compared to a decade ago. You can blame a lack of mega-fights for the sport’s downward tumble and near collapse.
your use of passive voice makes this paragraph much longer. You want your point to be short and direct.
Even when the sanctioning bodies, promoters, and fighters came together and made a mega-fight, these fights struggled to live up to their hype and expectations.
Try not to include yourself here, change to active voice.
Mega-fights in an era including heavy-weight champions Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, Rid**** Bowe, and Michael Moorer rarely happened.
more direct to say it this way
Lennox Lewis, who looked nothing short of a wrecking ball at the time, had topped Bowe in the amateurs. Mike Tyson and Rid**** Bowe threw their championship belts into garbage cans to avoid a fight with him.
using active voice
This shouldn’t happen.
this sets up a transition
A fighter should fight the best guy out there. Some did.
Evander Holyfield, whose desire to fight the best and constantly challenge himself, left him swimming in money, glory and championship belts. He also gained the respect of many sport fans and writers.
just made this shorter and direct
I also cut out your anecdote with the Bills...this distracts the reader
When fights between Oscar De La Hoya and Felix Trinidad II or Bernard Hopkins and Roy Jones Jr. fell apart, writers promised the fights would happen the next year.
And we bought it like saps and continued to salivate and build our appetites, only to go hungry in the end.
it is our not are
Boxing had become its own worst nightmare.
Promoters fought to make a quick buck and have their fighter come out on top, and sanctioning bodies seem to let it happen.
calling the sanct. bodies corrupt is grounds for libel, unless you want to get sued or you can show proof of this you need to cut it out
Well fellow boxing fans, I sit here today with a list of fights as deep as it is great, as entertaining as it is important, and as much for the fans as it is for the promoters. This, my friends, is what boxing is all about. The best have finally decided to fight the best.
A few years ago, when boxing was falling apart outside the heavyweights, a mega-fight finally happened. Lennox Lewis and Mike Tyson prepared to fight and the world took notice. Unfortunately for the promoters and those financially involved, the original arena in which the fight was to be held didn’t sell out. Nearly 2 million people would pay to watch it from their TV screens, but not 1/100 of that amount would make the trip to the arena.
The following fights may not be as big, they may not make SportsCenter or even ESPNEWS, and they may be outside the heavyweight division, but you can be assured that every ticket will be sold. Anybody that can make the trip should. Fight fans could be rewarded to boxing done the right way.
just cutting here to shorten
For the rest of the year we can see super-fight after super-fight, but this time we won’t have to worry about anything getting in the way. The best will now fight the best.
super-fight needs a hyphen
--------------------------------------------------------
the rest reads ok...you just have some grammar and spelling mistakes
September 29th:
Kelly Pavlik vs. Jermain Taylor. A fighter’s fight. A dream fight. I sat down on May 19th to watch a fight just like this one, and another that was sure to be the polar opposite. Kelly Pavlik stopped Edison Miranda in seven rounds in a war. Jermain Taylor won in a snore. Afterwards I watched Taylor ramble on about money and the first thought that popped into my mind was that Pavlik and Taylor would never meet. Instead Taylor would move up and fight Joe Calzaghe and nullify another super-fight with Kessler. Instead, Jermain Taylor stepped up the plate. He took all that criticism and threw it out the window. He did what every fan wanted him to do and I give him all the respect I can. Unfortunately, I pick Pavlik in 10, but boy oh boy what a fight it should be.
October 6th:
A double whammy. Samuel Peter makes his highly anticipated return to the ring against Oleg Maskaev, at Madison Square Garden. An exciting fight and one that Peter should definitely win, but the point is this is a good heavyweight fight, something the sport has lacked for years.
Then Manny Pacquiao and Marco Antonio Barrera will slug it out again in front of a packed Mandalay Bay event center. I’d have to pick Pacquiao in an entertaining bout, but at this point in Barrera’s career, where he’s as hungry as ever and has vengeance and an apparent key to victory on his mind, it’s difficult to count him completely out.
October 13th:
Evander Holyfield gets what may be his last shot at a heavyweight championship against the dangerous Sultan Ibragimov. Call me crazy but I’m picking Holyfield to win a close one. Much like the Peter-Maskaev fight, this is another good heavyweight fight, and it comes only a week after the last one.
And of coarse, the lightweight unification everybody’s been waiting for, Juan Diaz vs. Julio Diaz. Its going to be a great fight. I’m going with Juan Diaz, the new star of the lower weight classes, to dominate this one with a very impressive performance. Best news is that it sets up a Fight Of The Year candidate next year, between Katsidis and Juan Diaz.
October 16th:
Alfonso Gomez bounces back fresh off his win over Arturo Gatti to challenge Ben Tackie in what is sure to be a very exciting fight. Why include this in a list of great fights you ask? Cause its going to be a big Fight Night for Espn2, it involves a star in the making, and will reach out to that fading casual audience. I think it’s an important one in that sense.
November 3rd:
Fresh off yet another great heavyweight match up between two upcoming starters (Chambers-Brock) the fight of the year will finally arrive. Kessler and Calzaghe will duke it out for supremacy over the entire super-middleweight division. I have to give the edge in odds to Calzaghe, he is hard to go against, but I’m picking Kessler in one of the great fights you’ll see this decade, or the next. In case you didn’t already know, this one will be fought in front of 70,000 in a soccer stadium. And they say Boxing is dead?!
November 10th:
The next week we are still going strong. Shane Mosley and Miguel Cotto will **** it out for a shot at the biggest name in boxing, Floyd Mayweather Jr. The way it was done in the old days, you’d have to fight for your shot. Not only will this be a great fight, but it will be fought in front of a raucous and electric capacity crowd at Madison Square Garden. I’m going with Cotto by late round stoppage, but who knows with this one. I’m think Mosley is getting old and his recent winds are deceptive.
November 17th:
Maybe the most overlooked great fight I have ever come to know, Humberto Soto and Joan Guzman are going to do battle in a very important fight. The winner could get a shot at Pacquiao or Juan Manuel Marquez, and either is a worthy challenger. After a decade of begging boxing to pit the best against the best, it’s a shame that fights like this one are getting completely overshadowed.
November 23rd:
A fight we should already know the result of, Fernando Vargas vs. Ricardo Mayorga. Yes, these two guys are old and washed up, and yes this could be either guys last victory as a professional, but this is going to be a damn entertaining slugfest. I have to give the advantage to Mayorga.
December 8th:
Hatton-Mayweather… do I really need to say anything else? Oh, and if you pick Hatton you’re just thinking wishfully, although I do give him a better chance then most.
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no harm taken, not a pro or anything. thanks for the critisismnot to be a negative nancy, but its theme is no different than any other article that's been written this past summer, and a poorly written piece at that. sounds more like a fan than a writer, but that's just my opinion
Truth be told, its timing couldn't be worse - the article itself and its title.
Much like I tell people when they are baffled as to why I've yet to become head over heels in love with MMA, some things just can't be forced upon people. You either feel it or you don't.
Those stateside who want/continue to criticize boxing can point to the three weeks of nothing we've had (actually six weeks weeks for those who didn't get to watch - or couldn't care less about - Calderon-Cazares), and that we have to wait another two weeks for another significant fight to surface. You go that long without having something to offer, and your claims of a revolution sound a bit hollow.
again, just my opinion.Comment
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