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Lennox Lewis: A+/E
This guy is either a comedy genius or a total ****nut, possible both. Ummmmmmmmm... definitely. To be honest, every time he drops the D-Bomb these days I have a small ****** in my pants. The closer he reaches self parody, the better he gets, and he's already more interesting than he ever was in the ring.
Larry Merchant: B+ (prime)/C+
He's fallen a long way has our Larry. He always used to be sardonic, now he just sounds like the rancid death rattle of a week long fart. Most of his insight comes from the contents of his hotel minibar, and his soul hasn't been seen since before Tyson went to jail.
Jim Lampley: C+
"And this guy has been signed to HBO, so he can't do anything wrong". A good broadcaster no doubt, but Lampley's biased, controlled by the $ and so ****ing parochial it makes my anus bleed in protest. You sense the only time you'd get a genuine emotional response out of Lampley is if you were a woman and he was giving you some weed-fuelled beatings. Will probably go down in history as the man who said "And we've got a new heavyweight champion of the world - AND HE'S AN AMERICAN!!!!"
Showtime
Steve Albert: Grade - **** knows.
I listen to this guy, but like a Janet Jackson track, you can't remember a ****ing thing about it after it's over. Like a wisened old pervert who pays to watch strippers old enough to be his daughter, Albert's greyed moustache is probably full of pubic lice that he's eaten out of hobos.
Al Bernstein: Grade - **** knows
See above.
Jim Gray: Grade: D
This guy needs a slap.
__________________
My all-time favourite commentators:
Bob Sheridan: Sure, he needs to be put in a retirement home and given Altzheimer's treatment these days, but back in the day when he was doing Rumble in the Jungle/Thrilla in Manila he was the ****.
Steve Holdsworth: A rambling, irrelevant, stream-of-consciousness ****wit that does commentary right now on Eurosport. Has to be heard to be believed, this total lunatic will often break off into total left-field "WTF?" observations and suddenly start shouting for no reason whatsoever. A real legend of mental derangement.
This guy is either a comedy genius or a total ****nut, possible both. Ummmmmmmmm... definitely. To be honest, every time he drops the D-Bomb these days I have a small ****** in my pants. The closer he reaches self parody, the better he gets, and he's already more interesting than he ever was in the ring.
Larry Merchant: B+ (prime)/C+
He's fallen a long way has our Larry. He always used to be sardonic, now he just sounds like the rancid death rattle of a week long fart. Most of his insight comes from the contents of his hotel minibar, and his soul hasn't been seen since before Tyson went to jail.
Jim Lampley: C+
"And this guy has been signed to HBO, so he can't do anything wrong". A good broadcaster no doubt, but Lampley's biased, controlled by the $ and so ****ing parochial it makes my anus bleed in protest. You sense the only time you'd get a genuine emotional response out of Lampley is if you were a woman and he was giving you some weed-fuelled beatings. Will probably go down in history as the man who said "And we've got a new heavyweight champion of the world - AND HE'S AN AMERICAN!!!!"
Showtime
Steve Albert: Grade - **** knows.
I listen to this guy, but like a Janet Jackson track, you can't remember a ****ing thing about it after it's over. Like a wisened old pervert who pays to watch strippers old enough to be his daughter, Albert's greyed moustache is probably full of pubic lice that he's eaten out of hobos.
Al Bernstein: Grade - **** knows
See above.
Jim Gray: Grade: D
This guy needs a slap.
__________________
My all-time favourite commentators:
Bob Sheridan: Sure, he needs to be put in a retirement home and given Altzheimer's treatment these days, but back in the day when he was doing Rumble in the Jungle/Thrilla in Manila he was the ****.
Steve Holdsworth: A rambling, irrelevant, stream-of-consciousness ****wit that does commentary right now on Eurosport. Has to be heard to be believed, this total lunatic will often break off into total left-field "WTF?" observations and suddenly start shouting for no reason whatsoever. A real legend of mental derangement.
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