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Since frazier's15thround did this, I've decided to have a little fun as well. Keep in mind that this is a joke and that Dempsey is one of my favorite fighters, so don't flame me. I'm a little bored. 
Let's analyze this "great" carrer of Jack Dempsey, the Manassah masquerador. His "hall of fame" career starts with:
Young Herman(0-0-1) This guy Dempsey couldn't even win his first fight against a complete bum who didn't even want to fight after this. This was Herman's only fight and yet Dempsey couldn't defeat him. What a stellar talent, Jack is.
Dempsey moves on to pad his record against bums who either had one fight under their belt or less, and then moves on to take on:
Jack Downey(32-14-29) Another journeyman Dempsey wanted to pick on but yet, dempsey lost to this tomato can as well. It seems that Dempsey has a hard time winning against complete bums as we can plainly see. Downey beat no one worth mentioning, no one. Oh, except Jack Dempsey.
Oh, but wait it get even worse! that's right. Dempsey manages to beat the tomato can Bob York, capturing the Pacific Coast Light Heavyweight title(whatever that means), and continues to pad his record with stiffs and journeyman and then runs into:
Fireman Jim Flynn(45-50-19) This guy Flynn is overrated. He had two shots at the title. One from Tommy Burns in 1906, and the other from Jack Johnson in 1912. Flynn was ko'd both times. He was nothing more than a journeyman bum. However, not only could Dempsey not beat Flynn, but he couldn't even last the first round! That's right. This stiff Flynn threw a left to Dempsey's jaw and layed him out cold! Flynn exposed Dempsey's glass jaw, as other fighters will in the future. And this guy is supposed to be a top 5 heavyweight? Paaaaallleeeasssee!! A couple of fights later and Dempsey takes on:
Willie Meehan(71-35-38) Again, just another ham and egger for Dempsey to get through in order to get a title shot, right? But Dempsey still lost. They will fight four more times after this, and Dempsey will only beat him once, lol. Not only that, but the one time Dempsey was given the nod against this bum was a gift decision. Most people who saw that fight agrees that Meehan was robbed. Willie gave Jack hell in all 5 of their fights. What kind of "great" fighter struggles with complete bums?
Dempsey then goes on to pad his record against huge dummies such as Fred Fulton and Carl Morris. He then goes on a tour fighting five guys. Four who were starting their pro debut and one who only fought once in his life and lost. Well somehow this bum Dempsey is given a title shot against:
Jess Willard(27-7-1) Although, he was called Heavyweight champion, he really was another bum. His best win came against an old, decrepit Jack Johnson. On top of that, Willard didn't even beat him! Johnson threw the fight, because white racists were threatening to kill his white wife if he didn't; if you watch the fight, you could even see johnson shielding his face from the sun while lying on the canvas. He could have gotten up if he wanted to. Johnson didn't want to fight anymore, and he was a fugitive from justice, leaving the country on account of the Mann Act, so Johnson just couldn't be bothered. So after the title was basically handed to Willard on a silver platter, Willard made one defense and then went back to his farm in Pottawatomie, Kansas and sat on the title. He was nothing more than a paper champion with no skills, period. So it's no surprise that Dempsey would beat him.
After winning the title, Dempsey then makes a couple of title defenses, and then fights:
Georges Carpentier(88-15-6) This guy was the light heavyweight champion from France. The key word here is "light heavyweight". So his power wouldn't be able to hurt "heavyweight" Dempsey, right? Wrong! He stunned Dempsey a few times in that fight. Remember I said a while back that Dempsey had a weak chin? Well, his chin is coming back to bite him in the butt, big time! Carpentier fought with a broken thumb as well, and still managed to make a fight out of it before being floored twice in the fourth round, one for a nine-count, and one for the full count. Dempsey got a lucky shot in that saved his behind. dempsey then goes on to decision the tomato can Jimmy Darcy, and then fights:
Tommy Gibbons(95-5-1) Don't let his record fool you. Like Dempsey, he just padded his record fighting stiffs. he was a light heavyweight, but yet Dempsey couldn't knock him out. That's another thing. Dempsey's power is overrated as well. Gibbons managed to tie Dempsey up continuously throughout the fight, and Dempsey was partially exposed as such a great fighter. After this fight, Dempsey crashes into:
Let's analyze this "great" carrer of Jack Dempsey, the Manassah masquerador. His "hall of fame" career starts with:
Young Herman(0-0-1) This guy Dempsey couldn't even win his first fight against a complete bum who didn't even want to fight after this. This was Herman's only fight and yet Dempsey couldn't defeat him. What a stellar talent, Jack is.
Dempsey moves on to pad his record against bums who either had one fight under their belt or less, and then moves on to take on:
Jack Downey(32-14-29) Another journeyman Dempsey wanted to pick on but yet, dempsey lost to this tomato can as well. It seems that Dempsey has a hard time winning against complete bums as we can plainly see. Downey beat no one worth mentioning, no one. Oh, except Jack Dempsey.
Oh, but wait it get even worse! that's right. Dempsey manages to beat the tomato can Bob York, capturing the Pacific Coast Light Heavyweight title(whatever that means), and continues to pad his record with stiffs and journeyman and then runs into:Fireman Jim Flynn(45-50-19) This guy Flynn is overrated. He had two shots at the title. One from Tommy Burns in 1906, and the other from Jack Johnson in 1912. Flynn was ko'd both times. He was nothing more than a journeyman bum. However, not only could Dempsey not beat Flynn, but he couldn't even last the first round! That's right. This stiff Flynn threw a left to Dempsey's jaw and layed him out cold! Flynn exposed Dempsey's glass jaw, as other fighters will in the future. And this guy is supposed to be a top 5 heavyweight? Paaaaallleeeasssee!! A couple of fights later and Dempsey takes on:
Willie Meehan(71-35-38) Again, just another ham and egger for Dempsey to get through in order to get a title shot, right? But Dempsey still lost. They will fight four more times after this, and Dempsey will only beat him once, lol. Not only that, but the one time Dempsey was given the nod against this bum was a gift decision. Most people who saw that fight agrees that Meehan was robbed. Willie gave Jack hell in all 5 of their fights. What kind of "great" fighter struggles with complete bums?
Dempsey then goes on to pad his record against huge dummies such as Fred Fulton and Carl Morris. He then goes on a tour fighting five guys. Four who were starting their pro debut and one who only fought once in his life and lost. Well somehow this bum Dempsey is given a title shot against:
Jess Willard(27-7-1) Although, he was called Heavyweight champion, he really was another bum. His best win came against an old, decrepit Jack Johnson. On top of that, Willard didn't even beat him! Johnson threw the fight, because white racists were threatening to kill his white wife if he didn't; if you watch the fight, you could even see johnson shielding his face from the sun while lying on the canvas. He could have gotten up if he wanted to. Johnson didn't want to fight anymore, and he was a fugitive from justice, leaving the country on account of the Mann Act, so Johnson just couldn't be bothered. So after the title was basically handed to Willard on a silver platter, Willard made one defense and then went back to his farm in Pottawatomie, Kansas and sat on the title. He was nothing more than a paper champion with no skills, period. So it's no surprise that Dempsey would beat him.
After winning the title, Dempsey then makes a couple of title defenses, and then fights:
Georges Carpentier(88-15-6) This guy was the light heavyweight champion from France. The key word here is "light heavyweight". So his power wouldn't be able to hurt "heavyweight" Dempsey, right? Wrong! He stunned Dempsey a few times in that fight. Remember I said a while back that Dempsey had a weak chin? Well, his chin is coming back to bite him in the butt, big time! Carpentier fought with a broken thumb as well, and still managed to make a fight out of it before being floored twice in the fourth round, one for a nine-count, and one for the full count. Dempsey got a lucky shot in that saved his behind. dempsey then goes on to decision the tomato can Jimmy Darcy, and then fights:
Tommy Gibbons(95-5-1) Don't let his record fool you. Like Dempsey, he just padded his record fighting stiffs. he was a light heavyweight, but yet Dempsey couldn't knock him out. That's another thing. Dempsey's power is overrated as well. Gibbons managed to tie Dempsey up continuously throughout the fight, and Dempsey was partially exposed as such a great fighter. After this fight, Dempsey crashes into:
That's right. Out of the ring! What kind of great fighter gets catapulted out of the ring with one punch from a complete bum like Firpo? Now this is where Firpo gets robbed. Dempsey landed on the sportswriter's table, and the people sitting at that table pushed Dempsey back into the ring. Dempsey claimed to the day he died that had no one helped him, he wouldn't have made it. So instead of Luis Firpo being rightfully crowned Heavyweight champion, Dempsey gets another lucky brake. Then the first round ends. In the second round, Dempsey somehow catches Firpo with some lucky punches, and floores Firpo twice, the second time being for good. Dempsey's power and chin is exposed again.
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