Small Talk With Frank Maloney

[paul750]

In a nutshell, Frank, what's this new book of yours all about?

Oh yeah. It's called No Baloney: From Peckham To Las Vegas and it's about growing up in South London, my move into boxing as a small-hall promoter, and how, in 1989, I managed to convince a financier called Roger Levitt to invest in a boxing project. He came up with the money, which enabled me to discover Lennox Lewis. I think Roger was actually later charged with something like £90m worth of fraud, but that's a different story.

Indeed it is. No doubt the book details the spat with Lennox Lewis...

Yes it does. But it's not purely a boxing book. I gave copies to 10 of my wife's friends, all women, and they all enjoyed it because it's not a boxing book. I'd call it cheeky-chappy touched with sport and business.

Ah, Small Talk favourite pigeon-hole. Is Lennox Lewis as good as he thinks he is?

Well, all boxers have high opinions of themselves. He was the best around at the time, he was in the right place at the right time and he believed he could achieve what he set out to do. But if you read the book you'll see he doesn't quite make my top 10 of heavyweights.

Is it time for him to retire?

Definitely. Lennox has had a great career, a great life in boxing, but he's got nothing else to achieve and he should get out. The only people that will make money now from his career are the leeches sucking on his blood. He should take his money, his fame and his legacy and go and enjoy it.

How do you two get on these days?

People expect me to badmouth him over what happened, but I've got nothing bad to say about him. I achieved a great living standard with Lennox, a nice lifestyle. I've got a nice house, I'm reasonably comfortable, so why would I have anything bad to say about Lennox?

Because he dumped you via a fax, after 12 years' honest service, mainly.

I'm not bitter about that, I'm just annoyed that after the highs and lows we'd been through, he couldn't pick up a phone and tell me it was over. He got someone to send a fax and didn't even have the decency to sign it himself. But that's not bitterness, that's just an annoyance.

When did you two last speak?

Erm, 2000 probably. I'm not gonna lose no sleep if he doesn't speak to me again and I'm sure he feels the same way. I'd speak to him if our paths crossed, but I'm not gonna go out of my way. It's just a shame that a unique relationship that was more than boxing ended that way, but that's how it turned out.


What's the best scrap you've ever seen?

I suppose it's got to be Lennox Lewis and Razor Ruddock [in 1992 for the right to fight world champion Evander Holyfield], at least in terms of emotion. It was Lennox's first big fight and people were saying he'd get knocked out and it would be the end of Frank Maloney. But he blew him away in two rounds.

Indeed he did. But what's your favourite in terms of a right good scuffle?

Well that would have to be the first Ali-Joe Frazier fight. I was 12, 13 at the time and watched it on a big screen in Leicester Square. I saved up my pocket money to get there and stayed until the early hours. That was the greatest fight I've ever witnessed, it just thrilled me.

[paul750]

As did the Ricky Gervais-Grant Bovey bout, Small Talk imagines...

Ha, ha, ha, ha, [laughs on at length]. That was probably the funniest thing I've ever worked on. I didn't even know who Ricky Gervais was when I was asked to train him, my wife had to tell me. I'd never seen The Office, so I had no idea. When I turned up to meet him at the Russell Hotel in London, I just saw this little fat porky man with a scotch and a lager in front of him. I wondered what the hell they'd got me into.

Turned out all right, though. Gervais battered Bovey...

Well yeah, and he was really into it. Trouble is, of all the things I've achieved in boxing, people come up to me and say, "You're the bloke who trained Ricky Gervais!" That's what I'm famous for! What's going on?

Good question. If Lennox Lewis had fought Mike Tyson, both in their prime and before Tyson turned into a proper crackpot, who would have won?

That would have been tough to call but I think Lewis would have been too big for Mike Tyson. I remember watching Tyson get beat for the very first time in his career by Buster Douglas in Tokyo, and Lennox had just signed with me. I remember saying afterwards to him, when you meet Tyson, that's how you'll deal with him, because he can't deal with tall guys who can throw straight jabs and straight punches. You will always be his boss, I told him.

Muhammad Ali or Sugar Ray Robinson? Who was the best ever?

Based on ability I would go with Sugar Ray Robinson. [Small Talk gasps] Well Ali was a character as well as a boxer, he was what David Beckham is to football today, so a lot of people would go for him because he was more than boxing. But I wasn't an Ali fan, to be honest, because I think he was racist towards white people until later in his career. He was used by the black ******s and I don't think he realised that until it was too late. [Warning bells and the sound of the ice cracking drown out the sound of the floor polishers, so Small Talk decides to move swiftly on]

How did you feel when Don King labelled you a "mental midget" and "pugilistic pygmy"?

[Chortles] I didn't think anything about that because at that time I was trying to break into the market and Don King did more for my popularity than I ever could have. He was supposed to be promoting a world heavyweight title fight, but he got sidetracked and started to attack Frank Maloney. For 10 days in Las Vegas, he just kept booming out "mental midget, pugilistic pygmy", and the Americans got to know me. I couldn't have paid for the publicity he gave me.

How scary is Don in the flesh? After all, he's a big man and he has done chokey

He's not scary. I just laugh at him, but I think that's because I know him. His bark's probably worse than his bite. It's the booming voice and that shock of grey hair that can intimidate people who don't know him, but he's actually quite a shy person.

Erm, eh?

I know that sounds hard to believe, but if you get King in a room on his own and without an audience, he's pretty quiet and shy. Stick him in front of a camera and audience and the man can be as low as you like and he just clicks on like a light switch, boom. He's a performer.

Do you two get on?

We're civilised. I've got a lot of respect for Don King, you've got to respect someone who's done what he's done. I don't have anything bad to say about Don King, I just take our run-ins down the years as part of the business we're involved in.

Fair enough. Now, the important questions. What's your favourite biscuit?

Erm, I'd go for either a custard cream or a fig roll.

Two solid biscuits, Frank. And who or what would you put in Room 101?

What's that? {Small Talk explains etc. and so on]. Ken Livingstone. [Small Talk doesn't disagree but wonders why] Well for one reason I'm running for the mayor of London in 2004 against him, and for another I think that in the last four years he's been in charge of London, he's just destroyed the city for ordinary Londoners. He's not done any of the things he should have done, be it in terms of law and order, traffic-and-congestion policies, playing fields being sold off in central London, environment, everything.

[paul750]

Politics, Frank, nothing to do with Small Talk. What we'd prefer to know is the title of the last record or CD you bought?

All right, but can I mention my campaign website, www.maloney4mayor.co.uk?

Suppose so. But what about the music?

I'm not a great music person to be... oh, it was Kylie Minogue. It wasn't bad either. I like Kylie Minogue, I like her... her... her music [laughs like Sid James].

We'll return to that subject later, Frank. But first, what's your favourite TV show?

Dream Team. Wherever I am on Sundays, I try to make sure I get to watch it on Sky One. If I can't, I always get them to send me a copy. I don't know why I like it so much, I think probably because it's filmed at Millwall, the team I support, and because I know a few of the actors in it. When it first started it used to be very realistic, now it's gone more soap opera.

A bit like Footballers' Wives, then?

Yeah, but it's much better than that.

Obviously. How much is a pint of milk? (Answer: about 40p)

I've no idea, I don't drink the stuff. About £2.10, I should imagine.

Eh? Where are you buying your milk?

Oh, I thought you said beer. Oh, 40p. [Small Talk curses at the fact that every single person without fail is now hitting the bullseye] I know because I've got two children and my wife often calls me to get a pint on the way home.

Kylie or Britney? As if we didn't know.

I'd like to have both of them but I'd settle for Kylie [Small Talk joins Frank in a haughty man chuckle].

Would that be based purely on musical appreciation?

No definitely not, no no. I think Kylie Minogue is definitely most men's, erm, fantasy. She's the perfect woman.

Small Talk prefers Princess Anne, but each to their own. Peckham or Las Vegas?

Peckham. I like America but I couldn't live there. Vegas is all right for three or four days, but it gets a bit much for any longer. It's a fantasy world. Whenever I come home from Vegas, I kiss the ground when we touch down back in England. I'm a home bird and I never forget where I've come from.

The gloves are off as a lion takes on a tiger. Who's your money on?

I'd have to go for the lion. Why? Because it's the symbol of the football club I support.

What was the last book you read?

Erm, ah. Erm... the last Rudolph Giuliani [former mayor of New York] book. Some of his speeches are fantastic, and so are some of the methods he used to clean up the streets of New York.

Zero tolerance, shoot first, beat later, that sort of stuff?

The great thing about him was that he didn't really care for anybody, he just concentrated on improving New York. He has a passion for New York that I have for London, which is why I'm standing for major next year.

Yes, yes. Now, tea or coffee?

Oh tea. Can't stand coffee. I'll have a very weak tea, just throw the bag in and then take it out.

And if we were heading out to some villain's drinker, what's your poison?

Erm, champagne. Or an alcohol pop. I don't like the taste of alcohol, so I steer clear of beer. I like rosé champagne because it doesn't have much taste to it.

And alco-pops?!!

Yeah. I drink them because they're just like fruit juice. I get to a certain level where it doesn't matter how many more of them I drink, they just don't have any effect on me. Except when I walk out into the fresh air and then I just collapse.

Small Talk knows that feeling. Cheese or chocolate?

Ooh. Well I must admit they're both my favourites, but I'll have to go for chocolate because I stack up with bars when I'm driving round the country. Turkish Delight, usually.

Can you tell us a joke we can publish?

[The first is censored by the suits] All right then, what have Butlins and Rio Ferdinand got in common? Both their seasons end in October [laughs].

[paul750]

Might have a legal issue with that one, Frank, but we'll stick it in and see how closely Small Talk's editor subs this. Now then, what colour underpants are you wearing today?

Er, white. Boxer shorts. They're M&S, if you really want to know.

Well, our reader might. And what might be in your pockets?

Erm, my mobile phone, some cash and a little bit of loose change.

Sounds reasonable enough. And finally, where are you off to now?

I'm going to go onto the internet to read the boxing and political reports for the day.

Thanks for your time, Frank

No problem. Thanks, bye.

[GEOFFHAYES]

Maloney touched Clinton McKenzie's bum once, when Clinton was young.


True.

[paul750]

Maloney touched Clinton McKenzie's bum once, when Clinton was young.


True.

That was pretty shabby the way Lewis ditched Maloney like that after all those years good service Maloney had given him. Lewis is obviously not quite the gentleman he likes to portray himself to be.