If you thought part of the basic idea of a statue is that it doesn’t move, think again.

The famous statue of Rocky Balboa that has long stood near the bottom of the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art moved last week to inside the museum so it can be featured in a temporary exhibit.

But there are two replica statues (think of them as stunt doubles), and Sylvester Stallone owns one of them and has loaned it out to replace the one outside the Art Museum – although it’s been positioned at the top of the steps, not the bottom.

As for the newly available space at the bottom of the steps, a statue of nonfictional Philly fighting icon Joe Frazier, unveiled in 2015 on the corner of 11th Street and Pattison Avenue down the block from where the Spectrum once stood, will soon be making the eight-mile journey north. When that move is complete, the Joe Frazier statue and a Rocky Balboa statue – not the Rocky statue, but close enough – will at long last be within shouting distance of one another.

What’s that you say? Statues can’t shout?

Well, they aren’t supposed to be able to move either, but since that’s been proven a myth, these two bronze bombers are gonna talk. And you get to listen in:

Rocky: Hey, yo, Joe, welcome to the neighborhood. I ain’t seen you since the fight scene at the end of my first movie, when you was introduced to the crowd at the Spectrum before I took on Apollo. Yous look good. Haven’t aged a day. Look every bit as chiseled as you did in your prime.

Joe: Thanks, Rocky. You look good too – but a lot different than when you fought Creed that first time. You went from a Joe Frazier body to a Ken Norton body between the first movie and the third movie. You did it all-natural, I’m sure. I been meaning to tell you, I’m happy you got the job done in those Creed fights. Apollo reminds me of a guy I used to know who I didn’t like very much.

Rocky: I don’t know what you’re talking about, Joe. Apollo Creed wasn’t based on anyone real, he was totally a creation of that genius Sylvester Stallone’s mind.

Joe: Come to think of it, you remind me of a guy from my era too. You ever heard of Chuck Wepner?

Rocky: (consults with lawyers) Nope, never heard of him. 

Joe: All right. (Awkward pause.) Hey, Rocky, let’s talk about the elephant in the room.

Rocky: Yo, Joe, we isn’t in a room and I don’t see no elephant. You mighta got hit by George Foreman one time too many.

Joe: That’s not what I mean. What I’m talking about is, don’t you think it’s weird that a pretend boxing legend had a statue in this city before they made a statue of me, an actual real-life champ who took real punches?

Rocky: Yo, I took real punches. Didn’t you hear about when Dolph Lundgren put me in the hospital for nine days?

Joe: Yeah, Rocky. Everybody’s heard about that. But the point is, those scamboogahs made a statue celebrating a white movie champ back in the ‘80s, but they waited until 2015, after I was dead for four years, to pay tribute to the real flesh-and-blood Black champ. It took Jesse Jackson calling out this city at my funeral for the wheels to start turning. In boxing, you get your brain shook, your money took and your name in the undertaker book – and only after all that, when it’s too late for you to appreciate it, you get your statue made. Unless you’re a pretend white champ who ran up these steps while the right music was playing.

Rocky: Let me tell you something you already know, Joe. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward.

Joe: That’s a good speech. For a dumb guy with brain damage – or at least, temporary brain damage that got better from one movie to the next one – you’re pretty smart about breaking up the racial tension.

Rocky: Here’s some more words of wisdom, Smokin’ Joe: The best thing about being a statue is nothing weakens your legs anymore. So I can have all the women I want.

Joe: You know who wasn’t shy about messing around with women before fights? The Butterfly. I ever tell you about the time I knocked him down with a left hook in the 15th round at Madison Square Garden? Actually, that’s how I’m posed in this statue – eternally knocking down the Butterfly. And it wasn’t some ridiculous knockdown where I landed the punch and I fell down from exhaustion at the same time and then we both had to try to beat the count. I knocked him down with a hook and I stayed on my feet, if you can believe it.

Rocky: Yo, Joe, I gotta tell ya, you bein’ down at the bottom of those 72 steps, and me being up here at the top, we’re kinda far away. I can barely see you, I can barely hear you, and I can’t tell at all if you smeel mainly.

Joe: If I what?

Rocky: Sorry, I misread the cue card. I meant if you smell manly.

Joe: You better believe I smell manly. Everything I do, I do it manly. A boxing writer once asked me for technical advice on how to clinch. I told him I don’t clinch. Clinching is something the other guy does.

Rocky: So, like, I’m guessing yous never said, “All I wanna do is go the distance.”

Joe: (glares in disgust)

Rocky: Anyways, Joe, I really think you’re gonna like it here, at the Art Museum. Lots of people coming by, running up the steps, taking pictures with us statues. Did people take pictures with you when you was down by the stadiums?

Joe: Some, yeah. But there was also a lot of younger people asking, “Who’s that guy?” Older folks know who Joe Frazier was. Younger folks went down the street to get a picture with the statue of the Eagles coach and quarterback calling a play.

Rocky: Oh, yeah, I heard about that, the “Philly Special.” Fifty years ago, the Philly Special meant me breaking your thumbs.

Joe: You want to know what wasn’t special? Rocky V. And those Creed sequels. Those were worse than watching The Butterfly against Jimmy Young.

Rocky: Well, I wasn’t in the last Creed movie. So you can’t hold that one against me. But the first Creed movie, I got nominated for an acting Oscar. And, yo, Joe, we won the Best Picture Oscar for the first Rocky, you know.

Joe: The only Oscar I respect is Oscar Bonavena. I got the job done against him twice, and I’ll take that over your kind of Oscar.

Rocky: You seem a little bitter, Joe. But it’s like told Paulie one time, nobody owes nobody nothing. You gotta let go of the anger. Stop being that guy, Joe. You know, if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change.

Joe: Rocky, why do you keep throwing all your old lines from your movies at me?

Rocky: Because I can’t sing and dance.

Joe: I know. I saw Rhinestone.

Rocky: Hey, yo, Joe, I think we’re gonna have fun out here together at the Art Museum. You got a crusty exterior, but I know you’re a good guy deep down. All these casual fans who stop to take a picture with me, I’m gonna tell ‘em about you, the real article, and send ‘em your way to take a picture. I know you ain’t never got the respect you deserve compared to a movie champ, but us being near each other now, we’re a package deal, people’s gonna learn about Smokin’ Joe Frazier.

Joe: Thanks, Rocky. You’re OK. You aren’t the scamboogah I thought you were.

Rocky: Hey, that’s great Joe. … Wait a minute, did I just feel a raindrop?

Joe: Yeah, it looks like there’s a big storm rolling in. 

Rocky: Man, that version of the Rocky statue that got moved inside, he don’t realize how good he has it. He’s gonna stay dry, while we’re out here dealing with the elements. And this looks like a bad one. 

Joe: I wouldn’t be too worried about it, Rocky.

Rocky: Why? Because it ain’t how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit?

Joe: No. Because a local Philly trainer once told me that you can eat lightning and crap thunder.

Eric Raskin is a veteran boxing journalist with nearly 30 years of experience covering the sport for such outlets as BoxingScene, ESPN, Grantland, Playboy, and The Ring (where he served as managing editor for seven years). He also co-hosted The HBO Boxing Podcast, Showtime Boxing with Raskin & Mulvaney, The Interim Champion Boxing Podcast with Raskin & Mulvaney, and Ring Theory. He has won three first-place writing awards from the BWAA, for his work with The Ring, Grantland, and HBO. Outside boxing, he is the senior editor of CasinoReports and the author of 2014’s The Moneymaker Effect. He can be reached on X, BlueSky, or LinkedIn, or via email at RaskinBoxing@yahoo.com.