James Toney's Final Mission: Rid Boxing of Kimbo Slice

By Michael Marley

James “Lights Out” Toney has a course of action left to accomplish.

He participated in a charade, a total mismatch Saturday night in Boston when Randy “The Natural” Couture dropped him like a sack of potatoes for a first round knockout under MMA rules and regulations.

Now I've got the bright (?) idea for another laugher of a fight except that this time it will be five weight division world champion Toney doing the laughing and not being laughed at.

At the same time, Toney could do boxing a favor and rid us of the ridiculous pretension of street brawler Kimbo Slice.

We can label it "Bully Beatdown" like that TV program where would be toughs get their ashes hauled by real MMA athletes.

Slice and handler Big Gary Shaw would have us believe that, having been an MMA flop, now the nearly age 40 Miami destroyer of winos and crackheads, is going to become a legitimate heavyweight contender in boxing.

I mean, come on Big Gar, don't we have enough garbage to deal with already? How many sports is Slice going to be detected as a fraud in anyway?

I wouldn't pay to watch it but it would be great to see a real fighter like Toney mop the floor with this complete phony, Slice.

In an alleyway, Slice might clean Toney's clock, I don't know.

But, inside the boxing ring, Slice would think he forgot to pay his power bill because I've no doubt how quickly and completely Toney would live up to his nickname and slightly rehabilitate himself.

“Lights Out” would dim all the lamps for Kimbo, for sure.

For boxing, it would be a simple case of addition by subtraction.

Michael Marley is the national boxing examiner for To read more stories by Michael Marley, Click Here .

User Comments and Feedback (Register For Free To Comment) Comment by the330ballers on 09-01-2010

kimbo slice vs chris arreola. make it happen

Comment by Forza on 08-31-2010

Toney would still win, you guys are crazy. Toney would still know how to move and slip punches. Kimbo has almost 0 boxing training, toney has 30 years in the ring. The boxing ring is like a 2nd home for…

Comment by fastblack on 08-31-2010

And how can boxing rid itself of Toney? Boxing doesn't want the over inflated parade float Fred Sanford acting slob. Can't he just fade away forever? He has no fan base, no future, no respect and is fighting 80 pounds…

Comment by matt73uk on 08-31-2010

[QUOTE=throbk1974;9139801]James Toney has never been a KO artist, but Kimbo is. I'd have to go with Kimbo by KO. I would start him out with 4-6 round fights, though.[/QUOTE] James Toney has knocked out 44 of the 72 opponents he's…

Comment by boxasmash on 08-31-2010

[QUOTE=throbk1974;9139801]James Toney has never been a KO artist, but Kimbo is. I'd have to go with Kimbo by KO. I would start him out with 4-6 round fights, though.[/QUOTE] Perhaps the dumbest post I've ever seen. First bit was good…

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