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Old 04-30-2019, 11:45 AM #1
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John Curno, 80, a church-going pensioner, appeared at Uxbridge Magistrates Court where he was accused of pushing his left arm deep into a cow’s rectum while using his right arm to masturbate.

The court was told Curno was seen several times talking to a herd of 150 cows and pleasuring himself in fields belonging to Park Lodge Fame in Uxbridge last summer, a decade after he first started paying visits to the farm.

Susan Howie, an eye-witness, told the court she had seen the pensioner twice with his trousers and underpants around his ankles, ‘courting’ her cattle.

She said: “The cows are left unattended in the field especially in the summer we leave them in there day and night.

“I went out in my white pick up truck and the gentleman was with a cow, he had his left hand interfering with the cow and his right hand on a part of his lower body, his shirt was covering it.

“He was masturbating you could see it moving up and down and his trousers and his boxer shorts were at his ankles.

“He stopped and looked up, he grabbed his boxers and his trousers and ran to the stile.’

Two sisters, who also gave evidence, reported seeing Curno putting his left arm “up to his shoulder” into the back end of a cow. They say Curno then carried out a solo sex act, pleasuring himself with his right hand while the left was inside the cow.

One of the sisters said: “The first time it was dusk, he was about 100 to 200 yards away from where I was standing.

“I had binoculars as well, there was a man standing in and amongst a group of cows.

“I could see that he was trying to push the cows from behind towards a wooded area in the middle of the field but they were running away from him.

“He found one that did not seem to mind too much, he was stroking it and talking to it, he was all over it.

“The next time I looked he had put his left arm with his walking stick up on the back of the cow. It went on for about 20 or 30 minutes.

“He would take his arm out and go back to the front of the cow and talk to it and then he would do it again, I saw it happen about five or ten times.

“Whilst we were watching the cow had rotated so I could see the front of the cow and the man was behind the cow and his trousers came down and it was in the motion of him having sex with the cow, up and down.

“When the truck came he quickly pulled up his trousers and left the field.”


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The sisters said they called the police when they spotted Curno return to the cows for a third time. He was picked up by officers and, during arrest, told them: “I’m not a violent person, I have a weakness with animals.”

Speaking about seeing Curno on a second occasion, Howie said: “It was 8.30pm and we were running a bit late with the milking.

“It was the same field as before, this time he had had his whole hand in the cow.

“He grabbed his trousers and boxers and he ran for the stile and he actually fell over the stile because his trousers fell down when he was trying to get over it.

“I was disgusted, we gave nobody permission to touch or interfere with our cows, it might seem funny to you but they are family, they are not just cows.”

Curno will be sentenced next month. In the meantime, Chair off the Bench Michael Akers imposed bail conditions, banning him from every farm with animals in the United Kingdom.

Judge Akers said: “You have been found guilty of both offences and you will need to attend court at a later date for sentence.

“There will be a condition of bail and that is not to attend Park Lodge Farm Estate including The Mill and Church Garden or any other farm with animals.”

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Old 04-30-2019, 11:52 AM #2
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Sounds like !! Anorak - he's depraved enough to do something like that...
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Old 04-30-2019, 11:55 AM #3
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Old 04-30-2019, 11:57 AM #4
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Oh ****, hey Anorak do you reside in Uxbridge?
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Old 04-30-2019, 11:58 AM #5
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Old 04-30-2019, 12:01 PM #6
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Sounds about Britain.
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Old 04-30-2019, 01:02 PM #7
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The expression on the cow's face is priceless
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Some sick fuk this old fart is...
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Old 04-30-2019, 01:03 PM #8
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Old 04-30-2019, 01:31 PM #9
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are we certain that this isn't an old school milking technique?
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Old 04-30-2019, 01:32 PM #10
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First cow looks like she was asking for it. Second cow not so much.
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