juan manuel marquez 100% facts

[Primera]

-Once a cop pulled over Marquez....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

-Marquez doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the **** out of it.

-When Marquez goes swimming he does not get wet, the water gets Marquez'd.

-Marquez once gave a swift uppercut to a horse. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

-The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Marquez.

The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

-Marquez is currently suing NBC, as Law and Order are already trademarked names for his left and right fists.

-Marquez once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King....and got one.


feel free to post some Juan Manuel Marquez facts

[Primera]

Juan Manuel Marquez CAN believe it's not butter...

Marquez can kill two stones with one bird

A bulletproof vest wears Marquez for protection.

Marquez knows Victoria's secret.

Marquez can drown a fish. He can also kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.

Death once had a near-Marquez- experience.

Marquez can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.

If you spell Juan Manuel Marquez wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Juan Manuel Marquez?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

[Primera]

Marquez lost his virginity before his dad did.

Marquez is the only person on the planet that can punch you in the back of the face.

Marquez does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Narqyez goes killing.

Marquez doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now." or "You."

If you swallow a quarter and Marquez punches you in the stomach you will crap out two dimes and a nickel.

[EdWins]

Chuck Norris is going to roundhouse this thread..

[Rolaz]

How does Juan Manuel Marquez sounds in a sentence?

One man will mark kiss!

[Cleto_Reyes]

The boogieman checks under his bed for Marquez

[RIZO24]

No Mamen!!Pero ay ve de los Dos XX commercials.. Marquez is the life of the party he has never attended. When Marquez slaps you, you feel a need to thank him..

[DeadLikeMe]

Chuck Norris was once offered a glass of JMM piss. It drank him.

[Primera]

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Marquez' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Marquez owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno and a grape.

Marquez sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled boxing ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Juan uppercutted the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

[cactusEG]

Marquez got his wife pregnant while having phone sex