The top ten people I'd most like to **** right now...

[The Noose]

No Justin Beiber?

Id struggle not to rape Beiber if i was his cell mate. And im really really against rape.
He has a Emma Watson look about him. But Emma is too boyish looking for me.

If he wore a nappy and i was wearing a giant cat outfit, id happily sit on his face as he slept. Id imagine his face to be very comfy, and his slow suffocation only adding to the warm feeling of inner contentment.

[T.Horton]

Id struggle not to rape Beiber if i was his cell mate. And im really really against rape.
He has a Emma Watson look about him. But Emma is too boyish looking for me.

If he wore a nappy and i was wearing a giant cat outfit, id happily sit on his face as he slept. Id imagine his face to be very comfy, and his slow suffocation only adding to the warm feeling of inner contentment.

wtf?

[El Fenomeno]

This thread and the explanations given behind the choices are brilliant

[Derranged]

Id fuck Scarlets butt and vomit on her neck.

[-Huey-]

I used to pet the one eyed snake to pictures of Britney Spears back in middle school.

[New England]

3. Kelly Brook


Physically, I find Kelly Brook highly attractive, though purists might argue she's not as perky as she once was. However, it's what's between her ears that really counts, and, unfortunately in Kelly's case, there's very little.

I think it would maybe be best if she was in a US jail cell with four big black mommas, all of whom take it in turns to fist her and wear her like a glove puppet as they force her to pledge allegiance to the flag while squirting in her mouth until she chokes.

"Mmmm-hmmmm, missy, I'sa sure feels me your *******, white girl! You'sa gonna eat some o' mah pussy!"


Yes. I find this good.

nice looking rack of lamb on that one.

Hi guys, glad to be back. Allow me to complete my top ten...

6. Mila Kunis


Another absurdly predictable choice, and for that I apologise. However, Mila is the sort of girl who, if she asked me if she could give me a kick in the nuts, I'd say "you can give me two - have one on the house."

I'm sure I'm not alone in fantasising about receiving Chinese water torture at Kunis' hands... except instead of water, it's the drip of her ******* juices, sending me slowly into labia-induced insanity.

[THE REED]

Kelly and Kunis for sure.

7. Tony The Tiger


A typical Fat Yank in his use of braggadocio, there's nothing wrong with "my cereals are quite nice I think, but make up your own minds" as a catchphrase.

However, this cock-sure fucking prick hasn't got a modest bone in his body, and for that he deserves to be bummed into the middle of next week. I wonder if Anthony Tiger would still go around shouting "they're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!" if he woke up shitting blood for a fortnight?

8. Jessica Ennis


Jessica was just one of the many UK gold medal winners in this year's record-breaking olympic haul for Britain, in a year where it was coincidentally held in London.

Muscular Ennis is, of course, far from the best-looking girl in the world. But what I think excites me is the thought of the powerful olympian threatening to pin me down and fist me like a rag doll, using and abusing me to within an inch of my life. When I'd tell her I wasn't interested and didn't want to take part, Jessica would turn around and say "Who said I was giving you a choice?"