I have a question to all the guys who have had a big break up, or a divorce.....

[Always]

You More happy now?

Actually, I am bro..... I have known this one girl who I have been really really good friends with, and who has been cutting my hair for 4-5 years, and we have really been kicking it, and hanging out a lot. She is a complete 180 of what my girl was.

I am more at peace at home. More relaxed. Its just you see how I live on FB (not saying Im a baller or anything), and I am not the type of person who is used to being broke, and not having money to throw away.

Now I am literally on a budget, cant spend on this or that, or go here or there. I just break down my finances, and pinch pennies.

[Russian Crushin]

I did..... When everything is good, its GREAT. She loves boxing, we have been together since high school, our families have been friends for 15 years, her uncle is one of my best friends. But when it is bad, it is BAD, and its been bad for a while now. On and off over the last 2 years, I have tried to break it off, only for her to cry, beg, and plead with me to give her one more chance. I just couldnt do it again. I made a thread about 2 weeks ago saying I may have got her pregnant (which she is not) and Im starting to think that MAYBE that was her way of trying to keep me with her.

Broads are sneaky bro

[THE REED]

Actually, I am bro..... I have known this one girl who I have been really really good friends with, and who has been cutting my hair for 4-5 years, and we have really been kicking it, and hanging out a lot. She is a complete 180 of what my girl was.

I am more at peace at home. More relaxed. Its just you see how I live on FB (not saying Im a baller or anything), and I am not the type of person who is used to being broke, and not having money to throw away.

Now I am literally on a budget, cant spend on this or that, or go here or there. I just break down my finances, and pinch pennies.

Yeah I feel you.... I used to have to budget like that.. **** sucked... But at least youre free of the negative bull****.

[Isaac Hunt]

How long did it take you guys to get back on your feet, and get back to where you were before the break up/ divorce?

I broke up for pretty well all the reasons you stated. The constant sniping and *****ing took me to the point where I just wanted to be free of it. I warned her but she she took me past the point of no return. I felt better the moment we split but you have to realise that in 10 years you get addicted and you have to reprogramme your life. Also until you finalise your finances/house any legal issues you are in limbo. That usually turns out to be nasty and the process can be expensive with lawyers.
You will go through different stages. You may well be out of sorts when she has another relationship. My ex wanted to get back with me but I was more at peace on my own and did not want the nastyness anymore. When she hooked up with a guy after we split it hit me quite hard that was the point it was 100% over for me. She got married but is now divorced.
What I suggest you do is write a letter explaining exactly how she makes you feel and why you have no choice but to end it and send it to her. It is more effective than talking about it but that will help you get some closure. Tidy up your affairs/house and go for a quick clean split if you can.Good luck.

[Always]

Yeah I feel you.... I used to have to budget like that.. **** sucked... But at least youre free of the negative bull****.

Thats how I feel bro..... Its feels good to be free of the bull****, but it still eats at me.

I broke up for pretty well all the reasons you stated. The constant sniping and *****ing took me to the point where I just wanted to be free of it. I warned her but she she took me past the point of no return. I felt better the moment we split but you have to realise that in 10 years you get addicted and you have to reprogramme your life. Also until you finalise your finances/house any legal issues you are in limbo. That usually turns out to be nasty and the process can be expensive with lawyers.
You will go through different stages. You may well be out of sorts when she has another relationship. My ex wanted to get back with me but I was more at peace on my own and did not want the nastyness anymore. When she hooked up with a guy after we split it hit me quite hard that was the point it was 100% over for me. She got married but is now divorced.
What I suggest you do is write a letter explaining exactly how she makes you feel and why you have no choice but to end it and send it to her. It is more effective than talking about it but that will help you get some closure. Tidy up your affairs/house and go for a quick clean split if you can.Good luck.

Honestly, that is the part that scares me... I know I broke it off, and I know that I could get back with her if I wanted, but when that point comes, I dont know how I am going to react. We have only been with each other, and no one else.

I knew I was in a bad position when it got to the point where I would lie about working late, too just go drive around or hang out with a friend.

Well, we werent married, and the house, car, all the house hold items are in my name. She literally has no credit, because her mom and aunt were putting stuff in her name before she was out of high school. I just told her to take all of the furniture in the house, and just leave me my media room and the guest bedroom set.

Im just usally so calculated in all the steps, and moves I make. I bought my house and car at the age of 25. Now, I dont even know what step to take next, and when and where to move.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

[jreckoning]

Took me a couple of years.

And all that stuff is just stuff, you will live without it.

Selling some of the stuff helped me and helped me get her out of my mind.


Emotionally I got back quick, but I admit financially it took me a little while but the cool thing was after that I finally had money just for me.

[Always]

Took me a couple of years.

And all that stuff is just stuff, you will live without it.

Selling some of the stuff helped me and helped me get her out of my mind.


Emotionally I got back quick, but I admit financially it took me a little while but the cool thing was after that I finally had money just for me.

Thats how I feel... Emotionally, I can deal with it all day, everyday, and be good. I think thats probably my strongest trait, my mental toughness.

But I grew up poor, and having nothing at all. The whole reason I worked so hard, and splurge so much is because of how I grew up, and what I had to go through.

Now, after all the hard work Ive done, and time and effort I have put in to being financially stable, I am back to pinching pennies, being on a budget, and hoping to make enough to have just a little bit of disposable income, and it is eating my alive.

[-jose-]

Things happen for a reason brother, something better will come soon...

[Always]

Things happen for a reason brother, something better will come soon...

Thanks bro......

[sukhenkoy]

Thats how I feel bro..... Its feels good to be free of the bull****, but it still eats at me.



Honestly, that is the part that scares me... I know I broke it off, and I know that I could get back with her if I wanted, but when that point comes, I dont know how I am going to react. We have only been with each other, and no one else.

I knew I was in a bad position when it got to the point where I would lie about working late, too just go drive around or hang out with a friend.

Well, we werent married, and the house, car, all the house hold items are in my name. She literally has no credit, because her mom and aunt were putting stuff in her name before she was out of high school. I just told her to take all of the furniture in the house, and just leave me my media room and the guest bedroom set.

Im just usally so calculated in all the steps, and moves I make. I bought my house and car at the age of 25. Now, I dont even know what step to take next, and when and where to move.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

This is understandable, but I think that something like that would really prove to you what kind of person she is. It seems like you would react in a similar manner to how the other poster did, so it would really prove a good way for you to finally move on.

It sounds like you have yourself on your feet for the most part. I wouldn't worry too much about losing the extra disposable income because of no longer being with her. In purely financial terms, keep in mind how much you'll inevitably end up saving from not having to buy her presents and things like that. At the very least, you'll probably be more productive at work and with other things in your life as a result of not having to deal with her negativity.

I think you did the right thing by breaking it off, HTown. Your significant other should only complement your life and should never make it more difficult.

I'm sure you'll be better off in no time. You sound like a motivated guy who knows how to get what he wants. You'll likely find someone who will respect you for that and won't make your life harder than it needs to be.

Good luck, Boss.