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I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all
I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can
tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly
involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when
you realize you're wrong.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need
to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with
flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized
that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are
supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back
in the direction from which you came, you have to first do
something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter
to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap
when I was younger.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a
keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I
will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and
it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did
we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message
boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was
younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the **** was going on
when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it
actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up
wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just
a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still
the only one who really, really gets it.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each
hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to
immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm
trying to finish a text.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes
to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have
nothing else to say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between
boredom and hunger.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all
I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can
tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly
involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when
you realize you're wrong.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need
to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with
flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized
that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are
supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back
in the direction from which you came, you have to first do
something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter
to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap
when I was younger.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a
keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I
will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and
it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did
we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message
boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was
younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the **** was going on
when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it
actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up
wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just
a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still
the only one who really, really gets it.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each
hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to
immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm
trying to finish a text.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes
to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have
nothing else to say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between
boredom and hunger.
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