An appointment with Bermane Stiverne

[Zaroku]

He pissed me off, Beer.

I don't mind losing £££ if they TRY. But if you're gonna stand there like a fat shit, at least let me know first.

Maybe that was just something they forgot to talk about in his camp? I bet after the fight his trainer was like "shit.... I forgot to tell you to throw punches, didn't I? I knew there was something I forgot."

I read that he was going to apply for American citizenship. Is growing an extra ten bellies part of that process?

You are crazy

[b Murphington]

Well, just a quick one here, folks. I'd been given the opportunity to make love to Canadian-Hiatian champ Bermane Stiverne, a man who couldn't work out the complex technical puzzle of Deontay "The Batty Windmiller" Wilder.

Anyway, Stiverne came into my bedroom, dropped his pants, and showed me that he'd shaved the word "B.WARE" into his pubes.

I was fully erect at the prospect... I thought I was going to get bummed into the middle of next week.

To cut a long story short, the guy repeatedly flipped me over, pulled my pants down, then positioned his dick to go right into my anus.... then did fuck all, but let me roll away and prod him in the eye with my lumbering taddywhacker. And he did this over and over and over, repeatedly for 36 minutes.

After a while I'd got bored by our lovemaking, and said to him "Bermane, you keep engineering me in the right position, but when it comes down to it, you're just not bumming me or landing any money shots. What's wrong?"

"I dunno, man," he said, like some lazy fat stupid shit who did fuck all. "I just feel flat."

"Get out of my bed and stop wasting my time, you fat ****!" I yelled.

He wiped away a small tear, though not a tear from his Jap eye.

"Why are you being so mean?" he asked, "this bumming thread seems more hostile than usual."

"Fuck you," I said, "I don't have an issue with you losing. But I put £20 on and you didn't even TRY. You lazy stupid fat SHIT."


Just as I kicked him out of my bed, Deontay "The Batty Windmiller" Wilder came in and raised his hands, going "I did it, I just bummed you. I made you cum and everything."

"What?" I asked, "you didn't do **** all in this."


Don King gave a wink, and wrote out checks to everyone concerned.

"Just say you came" he advised.



"Only in America, baby!"

What is absolutely hilarious is that you could say the exact same thing you said for Wilder - Stiverne I.

The only thing you have to change for part 2, is change it from 36 minutes to 2 minutes and you're good.

[1bad65]

Anyway, have you seen ANYONE this side of Frank Bruno in the second Tyson bout look more CERTAIN that they're going to lose that Bermane "Fat CUNT" Stiverne did last night?

Well said.

He didn't even try. Did he even land a punch??

[BrometheusBob.]

He literally did not land one punch. He came into the fight out of shape and unmotivated. If he was trying to win, it sure didn't look it...

This thread is from 2015 after the first fight, or am I buggin...

Anyway you right that Bermane did not land a dam punch lol Was the saddest showing of a fighter in recent memory