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I'm on holiday (vacation, Fat Yanks) in the States right now, and thought I'd have a few laughs. But it hasn't turned out that way.
Last night we went to a few bars, and there was this really mouthy asshole that kept drinking in the same place. Every time we'd go to a different bar, he'd be there. He had a really weird look about him - picture Keanu Reeves with HIV and down syndrome, and you'll have an idea of what he looked like.
Anyway, fuck me if this asshole simply couldn't take his beer. He had three Miller Lites and he was off his face, puking up, pissing down his own legs, the lot.
He was such a lightweight that he started a fight amongst his friends. I could see the guy looking around for a viable target... a dwarf walked past, but he seemed to shit his pants over that, and none of his friends tempted him.
Then he looked at the smallest guy in the bunch, a real stick-thin kid who weighed no more than 90lbs. Suddenly he feels brave, and punches the poor kid in the snozz.
There's blood on the tables, and everyone's saying "can't that asshole take his beer at all? Imagine what he'd be like on four Miller lites". Next thing you know, the ****ing prick's stealing a "no smoking" sign, going "look at me, aren't I rebellious?" while everyone else in the bar went "who gives a shit?"
After he'd hit him, he started crying about how much his dainty little wrists hurt. His other friends said "do you want to continue this?" but he began pissing his pants.
I thought this daft prick was gonna ruin our whole night with his shitcanery, but then his sister turned up to take him home. "Don't even think about keeping this up," she shouted, "I've got a fresh bottle in the car."
I have no idea what that meant, or why this kid was such a complete asshole. All I can say is, I was glad when the lightweight **** left.
Last night we went to a few bars, and there was this really mouthy asshole that kept drinking in the same place. Every time we'd go to a different bar, he'd be there. He had a really weird look about him - picture Keanu Reeves with HIV and down syndrome, and you'll have an idea of what he looked like.
Anyway, fuck me if this asshole simply couldn't take his beer. He had three Miller Lites and he was off his face, puking up, pissing down his own legs, the lot.
He was such a lightweight that he started a fight amongst his friends. I could see the guy looking around for a viable target... a dwarf walked past, but he seemed to shit his pants over that, and none of his friends tempted him.
Then he looked at the smallest guy in the bunch, a real stick-thin kid who weighed no more than 90lbs. Suddenly he feels brave, and punches the poor kid in the snozz.
There's blood on the tables, and everyone's saying "can't that asshole take his beer at all? Imagine what he'd be like on four Miller lites". Next thing you know, the ****ing prick's stealing a "no smoking" sign, going "look at me, aren't I rebellious?" while everyone else in the bar went "who gives a shit?"
After he'd hit him, he started crying about how much his dainty little wrists hurt. His other friends said "do you want to continue this?" but he began pissing his pants.
I thought this daft prick was gonna ruin our whole night with his shitcanery, but then his sister turned up to take him home. "Don't even think about keeping this up," she shouted, "I've got a fresh bottle in the car."
I have no idea what that meant, or why this kid was such a complete asshole. All I can say is, I was glad when the lightweight **** left.
i read this thread before reading beercules's one 
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