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House party last night. She was saying how her boyfriend and his mates sometimes like to say gross stuff. So she told me something fairly mundane then goes:
"Can you imagine anything sicker than that?"
Now, bear in mind I'm pissed (drunk, Fat Yanks) I saw this as something of a challenge. I won't go into details of what I came up with, as last time I did I was banned for a month, but she laid down the gauntlet, then said to me: "In all my 32 years of life, I have never, never heard anything so sick and twisted. I have to give you credit for that... everything about you is so, so wrong."
As she repeated it to people at the party, and people started making their excuses to leave, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride.
Then another friend said he was completely appalled by it (I won't go into details, but it involved an 84 year old, her neck, a stanley knife and my taddywhacker) and said "that's the sickest thing I've ever heard... I can't imagine anyone saying anything sicker than that, ever."
Well, **** me. It was like he'd lain down the gauntlet again, wasn't it? I clearly had to up my game. Ten minutes later he's gone to bed, saying he'll never be able to sleep with his wife that night as he won't be able to shake the mental images I'd given him.
Job done.
"Can you imagine anything sicker than that?"
Now, bear in mind I'm pissed (drunk, Fat Yanks) I saw this as something of a challenge. I won't go into details of what I came up with, as last time I did I was banned for a month, but she laid down the gauntlet, then said to me: "In all my 32 years of life, I have never, never heard anything so sick and twisted. I have to give you credit for that... everything about you is so, so wrong."
As she repeated it to people at the party, and people started making their excuses to leave, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride.
Then another friend said he was completely appalled by it (I won't go into details, but it involved an 84 year old, her neck, a stanley knife and my taddywhacker) and said "that's the sickest thing I've ever heard... I can't imagine anyone saying anything sicker than that, ever."
Well, **** me. It was like he'd lain down the gauntlet again, wasn't it? I clearly had to up my game. Ten minutes later he's gone to bed, saying he'll never be able to sleep with his wife that night as he won't be able to shake the mental images I'd given him.
Job done.
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