The Embarrassing Things Thread

[Dirk Diggler UK]

I once needed a dump during a blow job so I stopped half way through to go downstairs and curl one out.

Came back upstairs and let the girl go right back down there to continue the deed. Needless to say the warm smell of fresh poo was still engulfing my sphincter and I didn't shake all the excess piss away from my bell-end. She almost projectile vomited right back onto my dick.

Didn't see much of her after that.

[Tay Roc]

I **** myself the other day. Just didn't make it in time. It was a photo finish. I came up on the losing end that day.

[Spray_resistant]

This one time when I was 18 I was at this chics house and she wanted to get experimental so I like her duck tape me to her bed post but things got weird she started using hot candle wax then the knives and various over weapons came into play and she was dragging it across my chest and lower abs(which are ripped I might add). I was very leery and uncomfortable just not into it the position of powerlessness so needless to say equipment failure over came me......pretty embarrassing

[Sweet Pea 50]

I **** myself the other day. Just didn't make it in time. It was a photo finish. I came up on the losing end that day.

Had the closest call of my life not too long ago.

Was coming back from a job in Fresno. Was running low on fuel, so I stop in Lathrop, which is little outside of Stockton, about an hour from Sac. For some reason, I decide, "Hey, 3 Hot and Spicy V8's sounds good."

So I hit the 4 which connects the 5 to the 99. Right when I hit Elk Grove, my stomach does that flip. Makes that noise like Burrrrrrrraaaaaaahhhppp. I automatically knew if I tried to alleviate the massive pressure that was rapidly building, it was a wrap. So I get off on the Stockton Blvd/Mack Rd exit, with all types of shit calculus running through my head.

Do I try to navigate the crowded as hell Costco parking lot, and hit the Wendys bathroom? Hit up the Chevron? I'm not in a car, but a tractor with a 53 foot trailer.

Home it is. Please, for the love of all things holy and the cab of this International, don't let my bowel power fail me.

Somehow hold it in till I get to my house. Jump out the truck running like I got a Christmas tree stuck up my ass. Unlock the front door and hit up the hall bathroom.

Success.