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The 2018 Complete and Honest Guide to every boxing weight class...

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  • [REAL TALK] The 2018 Complete and Honest Guide to every boxing weight class...

    I did one of these back in 2015 (https://www.boxingscene.com/forums/s...d.php?t=681418) which was full of wisdom, insight, and lots of talk about cocks.

    Well, the landscape has changed in the interim, so let's see where we are now, shall we?


    HEAVYWEIGHTS - RING MAGAZINE'S RANKINGS
    CHAMPION: Vacant
    1. Anthony Joshua
    2. Deontay Wilder aka The Batty Windmiller
    3. Alexander Povetski
    4. Luis Ortiz
    5. Dillian Whyte
    6. Joseph Parker
    7. Tyson Fury aka The Batty Gypo
    8. Dominic Breazeale
    9. Adam Kownacki
    10. Jarrell Miller



    Now, last time I reviewed this division, it was a bunch of D-listers all being hugged to death by the most tedious heavyweight on the planet. It was in a dire state. It was so horrific to look at, it was like reading LarryXX's thread history in NSB.

    These days, whether or not the quality is there, I think that's a pretty damned exciting top ten there. I do, I really do. There's almost ANY match-up of that lot that I'd like to see.

    Going from the top of the rankings, then while I'm still not quite sold on Joshua as a boxer, I AM sold on him as a dish. I guess we'll find out a bit more on Saturday. I no longer have any idea of who is ducking who out of him and Wilder, nor do I care. I just want to see that fight.

    Though the longer we wait, the more you can read Fat Yanks in NSB debating who's the "A Side", a phrase some Wilder fans (Or Windmillers as they're officially known in their fan club) have taken to heart. Regardless of where you stand on either boxer - and I like 'em both - it's just hilarious to see people seriously cooking up reasons why a man who can do 1m PPVs and sell out 90,000 arenas is the "B Side" to a guy who couldn't even fill out a Carolina rescue boat.

    As for the Windmiller, then it's also funny how many of his fans paint him up to be some invincible destroyer, considering the daft cunt was just out on his feet against a 96-year-old. Wilder can obviously crack, even when he's not paying Malik to take a dive, and it's like he's got a nuclear bomb strapped to his right glove. But, even though he HAS improved, quite a lot, and has speed/athleticism, he's technically still like a ******ed kid in a school playground. He's the guy that could beat anyone.... but I'd still give even an underdog a decent chance.

    Povetski is okay, and should really be undefeated, with a DQ win against Wlad for the excessive holding.. a woeful performance that made me long for the Imbragimov fight, and even broke the spirit of some hard core Kliteratti, like kayjay reborn.

    Whyte I admire, because he'll fight anyone, and I'd give him a chance against anyone, but he's vulnerable. Fury I've always liked because he makes me laugh, and, while I'd pick a peak Fury against Wilder, I do wonder if he's gone into this too early.

    Breazeale isn't a bad guy and a decent boxer, but he's kind of like the wallpaper you have in restaurants, he just fades into the background. He's the kind of guy who Ed Sheeran would say is too bland.

    At the opposite end of the scale is Jarrell Miller, one of those mouthy Fat Yanks who wants to be the next Floyd, but instead sounds like the next Broner. I don't mind trash talk - even quite like it tbh - but not when it's so contrived, so staged and so WITLESS. I wouldn't mind seeing him bringing out Joshua's inner black man.

    Lastly, we have Joseph Parker and Adam Kownacki. I don't believe I've ever seen, IN MY LIFE, a boxer so content to lose as Parker. Twice on the trot now. Even Royston "Roy" Jones complained more about his losses, and he was out on the canvas for thirty hours. Every time it's "well, I could have done more and maybe won, sport, but I flamin' lost.. guess I'll go back to me barbie and have another Fosters. Give a fuck."

    Kownacki was in a very entertaining fight against Charles Martin, and will doubtless be in more, but he's clearly been at the pierogi, and has about as much skill and defence as Zaroku has interesting posts. He won't go far, and probably isn't even a legit top ten heavyweight, but, like I say, fun to watch.

    All in all, I really like this division again.

    VERDICT: Good.
    Last edited by !! Anorak; 09-20-2018, 04:33 PM.
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