The Problem with Ultra Masculine Action Movies

[ßringer]

They had Russell in Drag at one point. They may as well have went all the way.

He was a sexy she, too.

[ßringer]

I got a pitch for you Bring. Youre an ex luchador that had a change of heart after an eye opening shroom trip. You dedicate your life to being vegan and speaking against bull fighting. Then, the luchador mafia leaves youre goat beheaded on your front door as a sign to keep quiet or else. You just so happen to be ex Spanish special forces and now theyve gone to far. You hunt down each one of the luchadors in Spain stabbing them as they try to run away even giving them chances to fight back but stab them in the process. You finally get the head of the organization. The greatest luchador in all of Spain now retired. ( Played by Eric Roberts) You challenge him to a luchador's duel. Your both armed with swords and red blankets. When you deal the the deathblow into Roberts heart you shead a single tear and whisper "Por mi Espana!" Then you make love to a bull through interpretive dance with the gypsy kings playing through the dance and final credits.

[Oasis_Lad]

Russell > Stallone.

[Spray_resistant]

So? You can say that about any genre, not just action movies. Horror movies, romance movies, superhero movies, adventure movies, sci-fi movies, drama movies, all movies. Obviously, they need some kind of structure. Action movies are the best kind of movies. I believe there is some kind of template called the hero's journey.

Horror movies - some kind of trip, flat tire, "oh look there's an abandoned cabin we can stay at", monster starts killing one by one, "let's split up and go find help," only white guy and white girl couple end up at the end, white guy gets killed, white girl maybe kills monster, white girl wins, the end

Romance - "Oh I'm so busy with my career, I can't find love", finds love, couple struggles for some reason, the dude plays a f***ing radio over his head, couple makes out in the rain, the end.

Adventure movies - "oh look, a map," go on an adventure, looking for some kind of treasure, pirates also looking for treasure, lose map, find map, some kind of monster protecting treasure, kill monster, pirate steels treasure, oh wait it turns out they gave pirate empty treasure chest, pirate dies, the end.

Superhero movies - some kind of evil dude, superhero, stupid ass jokes that audience laughs at like "ice to see you" or "everybody chill," superhero struggles, comes back, wins, the end.

Sci-fi movies - some kind of space science ship, evil dude in group, someone inhales alien particles, alien pops out of person, everyone gets killed, white guy and white girl end up surviving, alien kills white guy, white girl maybe kills alien, white girl survives, decides to go to alien planet (yeah that's real f***ing smart)

Drama movies - some kind of issue, dramatic stuff, evil big business, main character gets killed by corrupt big business, drama, movie sends some kind of moral/ethical message, audience leaves movie feeling all high and mighty, "oh look at us we're so smart cause we only watch drama movies," f*** you

Wash, rinse, repeat

I just have the best interest of the viewer in mind and want them to really think about what they just sat through.

[joe strong]

Pot, last night when I thought of this while watching the Borne movies and the new one with Arnold and Sly but a surprise twist in newer ones does seem reasonable I mean anyone over the age 9 know exactly how the movie will progress and end after the first 15 minutes.

we need more quality productions like "the human centipede"... the 3rd one is coming out soon... eric Roberts, bree olson & the 2 villians in the first 2 are in the 3rd... suppose to be a 500 person centipede...I bet they will have a rave or an underground party & drug everyone... great action flick that won't end like the others...

[Nooblet]

all this producers, directors and screenwriters are ****ing stupid. i had a plan during prime angelina jolie and prime megan fox days.

everybody was doing gay movies like brokeback mountain or teacher student relationship and it was always old girl or young guy or young girl old guy.

now this is how i would have done it. picture this everyone. megan fox is a student who is the IT girl at school and angeline jolie would be a strict teacher who wants her students to behave. and then they both ended up having bdsm relationship. shyt this could have been more popular than the 50 shades of grey bdsm bullshyt book.

imagine this happened during their primes. now it's all ****ed!

[sparkman0811]

I just have the best interest of the viewer in mind and want them to really think about what they just sat through.

I hear ya. But, action movies are great. They are exciting, fun to watch, and they don't take themselves too seriously. Look, I only like the action movies from 80's and 90's, when the big three were in charge. Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Van Damme. Sure, the plot is predictable, but those movies are fun to watch. Imagine having a movie like Predator, Rambo, or Kickboxer in theaters now. That would be great. Instead we have some goddamn movie like "Gravity." Yeah, like we don't know that stupid ass lady is gonna survive and her boyfriend dies (see my movie template for sci-fi). It's like why is it even called "Gravity", it should be called "Stranded In Outer Space."

[TBear]

I always thought that 'Tango and Cash' would've been a much better film had Stallone and Russell ****ed each other in the ass at the end.

You should have gotten the dvd with alternate endings. They often have the ass **** ending as a choice.

I watched that ending on Toy Story just last night.

[BetterCallSaul]

Exactly. It's like those ultra scary horror movies with ghosts and serial killers and stuff. What the hell is going on?