Limey Lang

[Southpaw Stinger]

Ding ding....

[Derranged]

Laddie and Stinger were in the pub one day after a hard day of fondling trouser snakes on the tube and getting chased by Bobbies for public indecency.

Laddie: Aye Stinger.. Me fookin 'and is soore as fook it is..

Stinger: Blimey yer bloody feckin wanker..

I'm drawing blank after that.

[Southpaw Stinger]

Thrilling fight this Fury one.

[TheHoff'sGhost]

Southpaw, we've got lots to catch up on so we have. Thusly, I have a few questions for yer me dear:

When is our beloved Nadal coming back?

Did the wee scottish lads success please you?

Where is Laddie?

P.S
I've got nothing against the tards but the paralympics bored me.

[Left Hook Tua]

my penis is not breathing.

do you know cpr?

[Southpaw Stinger]

Southpaw, we've got lots to catch up on so we have. Thusly, I have a few questions for yer me dear:

When is our beloved Nadal coming back?

Did the wee scottish lads success please you?

Where is Laddie?

P.S
I've got nothing against the tards but the paralympics bored me.

Me dear, I shall answer yer questions to the best of me ability.

Our beloved Nadal shall return as soon as I am done with him.

Young Murray's success surprisingly brought a tear to me jap's eye, so it did.

I have no idea where our Laddie is. I think either Tua killed him or he's moved to Edinburgh. I'm praying to Alan it's not the second.

And the para what? Must've been busy eating a pot needle when that were on.

my penis is not breathing.

do you know cpr?

I'll leave it to Vinnie to sort yer wee man out.

[TheHoff'sGhost]

Southpaw, I once met Jimmy Saville in a hospital and shook the mans hand. I'm now concerned that he may have been molesting a corpse with that very same hand right before I shook it. Thusly, I may have been infected with some leftover dried up dead birds fanny juice that Jimmy wiped all over my hand while pretending to be merely shaking me hand.

I'm considering going to the doctors about it so I am. It was a fair few years ago mind but you never know what you could catch off a dead lasses vag.

[Southpaw Stinger]

Southpaw, I once met Jimmy Saville in a hospital and shook the mans hand. I'm now concerned that he may have been molesting a corpse with that very same hand right before I shook it. Thusly, I may have been infected with some leftover dried up dead birds fanny juice that Jimmy wiped all over my hand while pretending to be merely shaking me hand.

I'm considering going to the doctors about it so I am. It was a fair few years ago mind but you never know what you could catch off a dead lasses vag.

Christ, does that make you a second hand fiddler??

[TheHoff'sGhost]

Christ, does that make you a second hand fiddler??

At the very least I've consorted with a fiddler.

It brings my whole fiddling credentials into sharp focus. If Welter Skelter was to return now then who would I be to call him out on his maddie activities? I feel tainted Southpaw.

I'm half expecting some CSI **** to jump out on me and whack me in handcuffs. I mean with the technology and the knowledge they've got these days who's to say they can't use DNA evidence to trace the trail back from my hand to Jimmys to some poor dead birds minge.

It's worrying.

[Southpaw Stinger]

At the very least I've consorted with a fiddler.

It brings my whole fiddling credentials into sharp focus. If Welter Skelter was to return now then who would I be to call him out on his maddie activities? I feel tainted Southpaw.

I'm half expecting some CSI **** to jump out on me and whack me in handcuffs. I mean with the technology and the knowledge they've got these days who's to say they can't use DNA evidence to trace the trail back from my hand to Jimmys to some poor dead birds minge.

It's worrying.

Dark feckin' days. This is the price we pay for wanting a ****ing quiet life so it is.
I think our Lord Alan would advise yer to cut off that mighty truncheon shaking hand of yours, soak it in a bucket of bleach, then send it to me. I'll handle the rest.