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Old 03-30-2017, 01:17 PM #11
Willy Wanker Willy Wanker is offline
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Originally Posted by -jose- View Post
that's ^^^ the reason you shithing like Shaq

instant coffee is crap

I never drink instant coffee, I always drink decent to great quality coffee and I still take Shaq size dumps. I squeeze out turds that shouldn't even come out until next week.

I also like to add boiled eggs and oatmeal on a good morning. Building a mountain of turds takes a lot of hardwork and dedication.
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Old 03-30-2017, 01:43 PM #12
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Originally Posted by Willy Wanker View Post
I never drink instant coffee, I always drink decent to great quality coffee and I still take Shaq size dumps. I squeeze out turds that shouldn't even come out until next week.

I also like to add boiled eggs and oatmeal on a good morning. Building a mountain of turds takes a lot of hardwork and dedication.
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Old 03-30-2017, 02:10 PM #13
48cantCstraight 48cantCstraight is offline
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Coffee definitely makes you shyt. Whenever I'm constipated I have a couple cups of coffee and go do work on that toilet.
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Old 03-30-2017, 02:12 PM #14
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Originally Posted by Hype Job View Post
Every morning after two cups of instant coffee I do the most humongous sh1ts the world has ever seen, literally stacks of poo that look like a miniature mountain.

For the rest of the day my ass itches and feels like its recovering
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It's like you're describing my life to a tee
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Old 03-30-2017, 02:16 PM #15
krazyn8tive krazyn8tive is offline
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Originally Posted by HanzGruber View Post
That's why I don't drink coffee or milk in the morning anymore. Never was big in coffee tho much
I can't drink milk as I am lactose intolerant. I remember when I was in jr high I really noticed the havoc milk was playing on my guts. As I sat in science class, Teacher was going over the periodic table of elements and all I could think about was compressing my a$$ cheeks together because it felt like I was going to sh1t myself all morning. Milk and cereal made my school years agonizing.
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Old 03-30-2017, 07:01 PM #16
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Originally Posted by krazyn8tive View Post
I can't drink milk as I am lactose intolerant. I remember when I was in jr high I really noticed the havoc milk was playing on my guts. As I sat in science class, Teacher was going over the periodic table of elements and all I could think about was compressing my a$$ cheeks together because it felt like I was going to sh1t myself all morning. Milk and cereal made my school years agonizing.
Do you eat cheese or other things. I seem fine but milk fuks me up good sometimes
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Old 03-30-2017, 07:24 PM #17
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Originally Posted by Willy Wanker View Post
When I used to work mornings, I never took a dump at home.

I would wake up and drive to work and I would hold out until I drank a cup of coffee or two. Then I would just destroy that toilet like it owed me money. There wasn't enough water in the bowl to keep the mountain of poop submerged. I courtesy flushed, but still.

Surprised I never clogged the toilet.


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you're one of those bashful bastards
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Old 03-30-2017, 07:55 PM #18
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The acidic ingredient in coffee can make some people's stomach like that if you drink it on an empty stomach.
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Old 03-30-2017, 08:49 PM #19
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coffee = caffeine = makes your digestive tract move food faster (peristalsis) = diarrhea/gotta drop a deuce
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Old 03-30-2017, 09:02 PM #20
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