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Old 03-30-2017, 10:06 AM #1
Hype job Hype job is offline
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Red face Does anyone else do mountainous poops after drinking coffee?

Every morning after two cups of instant coffee I do the most humongous ****s the world has ever seen, literally stacks of poo that look like a miniature mountain.

For the rest of the day my ass itches and feels like its recovering
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Old 03-30-2017, 10:31 AM #2
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When I used to work mornings, I never took a dump at home.

I would wake up and drive to work and I would hold out until I drank a cup of coffee or two. Then I would just destroy that toilet like it owed me money. There wasn't enough water in the bowl to keep the mountain of poop submerged. I courtesy flushed, but still.

Surprised I never clogged the toilet.
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Old 03-30-2017, 10:35 AM #3
GGG Gloveking GGG Gloveking is offline
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Its like coffee is a laxative, lol. 30 min to an hour, and...
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Old 03-30-2017, 10:36 AM #4
Hype job Hype job is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Willy Wanker View Post
When I used to work mornings, I never took a dump at home.

I would wake up and drive to work and I would hold out until I drank a cup of coffee or two. Then I would just destroy that toilet like it owed me money. There wasn't enough water in the bowl to keep the mountain of poop submerged. I courtesy flushed, but still.

Surprised I never clogged the toilet.
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Old 03-30-2017, 10:44 AM #5
John Barron John Barron is offline
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stopped drinking coffee for the same reason. meanwhile my first lady chugs iced coffee down all day but my c*ck still comes out sparkling clean. it's bugged me for years to be honest.
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Old 03-30-2017, 10:57 AM #6
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I don't drink coffee, but when I eat this family size thing of veggies I'll randomly eat sometimes I'll be leaving a impressive heeeaaaaaappppppppp of dookie in the toilet bowl within 12 hours more often then not & for sure within 24 hours. I don't think anything makes me instantly sh^t unless its something thats making me do so in a watery unpleasant squirting fashion after making a bad food choice.
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Old 03-30-2017, 11:04 AM #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Willy Wanker View Post
When I used to work mornings, I never took a dump at home.

I would wake up and drive to work and I would hold out until I drank a cup of coffee or two. Then I would just destroy that toilet like it owed me money. There wasn't enough water in the bowl to keep the mountain of poop submerged. I courtesy flushed, but still.

Surprised I never clogged the toilet.
industrial tier toilets bro. hate to bust your ego but you weren't destroying anything besides your ass. you could feed those things baby hippos for 12 rounds no problem, your ***** weren't ***** to that toilet.
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Old 03-30-2017, 11:16 AM #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hype Job View Post
Every morning after two cups of instant coffee I do the most humongous ****s the world has ever seen, literally stacks of poo that look like a miniature mountain.

For the rest of the day my ass itches and feels like its recovering
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that's ^^^ the reason you shithing like Shaq

instant coffee is crap
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Old 03-30-2017, 12:17 PM #9
Willy Wanker Willy Wanker is offline
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hate to bust your ego but you weren't destroying anything besides your ass.
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Old 03-30-2017, 12:21 PM #10
BufordTannen BufordTannen is offline
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That's why I don't drink coffee or milk in the morning anymore. Never was big in coffee tho much
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