Funny joke thread

[TJ highway]

Man: What is a million years like to you?
God: Like one second.
Man: What is a million dollars like to you?
God: Like one penny.
Man: Can I have a penny?
God: Just a second.

[Eddy Current]

Man: What is a million years like to you?
God: Like one second.
Man: What is a million dollars like to you?
God: Like one penny.
Man: Can I have a penny?
God: Just a second.

Hahahahaha

[TJ highway]

ENGINEER IN HELL

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says “Ah, you’re an engineer... You’re in the wrong place.”

So the engineer reports to the gates of Hell and is let in. Pretty soon the engineer becomes dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell, so he begins designing and building improvements. After a short while all of Hell has air conditioning, flushing toilets, escalators, cold swimming pools, WI-FI and satellite TV.

The engineer has become a pretty popular guy in Hell.

A couple of month’s later God calls Satan and says, “So, how’s it going down in Hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We now have air conditioning, flushing toilets, and escalators. Why, there’s no telling what my engineer will come up with next.”

God replies “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake, he never should have gotten down there... Send him back immediately.”

Satan says “No way. It’s nice having an engineer on my staff. I’m keeping him.”

God screams back, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue!!!”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. AND JUST WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO FIND A LAWYER?”

[Anthony342]

Maybe someone here can help me. I heard a joke punchline that goes either "They're eggs" or "Their eggs", but couldn't find the joke that goes with the punchline when I did a Google search for it. Does anyone know this joke? If so, could they share it here?

[TJ highway]

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
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What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
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A guy walked into a bar and saw a sign that said cheeseburgers 3$ hotdogs 5$ and handjobs 10$ He goes to the bar and asks the lady "are you the one that gives handjobs" and she said yes, then he replied "well wash your hands I want a cheeseburger."

[Scopedog]

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”.

She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”