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I've never bummed anyone from the internet before, but when YouTube boxing analyst "Dwyer" offered me a shag, I felt almost obliged to go along.
I got round there, and he'd wasted no time at all in getting ready. He had a studded dog collar around his neck and a riding crop, but other than that he was completely naked, his plentiful rolls of ebony body fat creating a beautiful cocoon for his neglected, two-inch pecker.
I leaned forward and began to kiss his neck and suckle on his nipples, the areolas of which were the same circumference as the world - however, I made sure I avoided kissing his lips, as that would have been the mark of a faggot.
Straight away, he stopped me.
"I'm Dwyer from The Bummer's Advisory. Before you bum me, I want you to bear in mind that bumming me is your own decision, and just think of me as a stranger whose asshole you're about to cum in."
I nodded my agreement and thanked God that he didn't ask me to sign a pre-bumming agreement. However, he simply wouldn't stop talking while I was on the job, as if he was disappointed by my performance.
"What you have to bear in mind, right, is that I fully expect you to be teabagging me, right, while also sticking your dick right up to my prostate, right, and giving me a reach around."
I tried to explain that doing it all at the same time was going to be physically impossible.
"This may be against the grain, right" he informed me, "but I fully expect to see you squirting hot spunk into my eyes, right, while also tickling my toes with your balls. In fact, I'd lay odds on that, right. Let me also say this, too, right - I expect you to be nibbling my ear and sucking me off. Right?"
He expected the impossible, and his argument, while thought out, didn't really make a whole lot of sense.
However, there was something about his earnest delivery and solid bumming skills - he kept farting after too many donuts and it produced a nice breeze effect on my chopper - that got me off quickly. I withdrew in an embarrassingly short time, his lower colon filled with a personal creamy fondue of my own devising.
He looked disappointed tbh, and I can't say I blamed him - I'd cum within three minutes, satisfied at my now-depleted nutsack as Dwyer's own two-inch acorn went unspent.
He shook my hand, and I found it hard to read him, though I could tell I wouldn't get asked a second time.
"Thanks for stopping by," he said, and closed his front door, shutting me out of his life for good.
I got round there, and he'd wasted no time at all in getting ready. He had a studded dog collar around his neck and a riding crop, but other than that he was completely naked, his plentiful rolls of ebony body fat creating a beautiful cocoon for his neglected, two-inch pecker.
I leaned forward and began to kiss his neck and suckle on his nipples, the areolas of which were the same circumference as the world - however, I made sure I avoided kissing his lips, as that would have been the mark of a faggot.
Straight away, he stopped me.
"I'm Dwyer from The Bummer's Advisory. Before you bum me, I want you to bear in mind that bumming me is your own decision, and just think of me as a stranger whose asshole you're about to cum in."
I nodded my agreement and thanked God that he didn't ask me to sign a pre-bumming agreement. However, he simply wouldn't stop talking while I was on the job, as if he was disappointed by my performance.
"What you have to bear in mind, right, is that I fully expect you to be teabagging me, right, while also sticking your dick right up to my prostate, right, and giving me a reach around."
I tried to explain that doing it all at the same time was going to be physically impossible.
"This may be against the grain, right" he informed me, "but I fully expect to see you squirting hot spunk into my eyes, right, while also tickling my toes with your balls. In fact, I'd lay odds on that, right. Let me also say this, too, right - I expect you to be nibbling my ear and sucking me off. Right?"
He expected the impossible, and his argument, while thought out, didn't really make a whole lot of sense.
However, there was something about his earnest delivery and solid bumming skills - he kept farting after too many donuts and it produced a nice breeze effect on my chopper - that got me off quickly. I withdrew in an embarrassingly short time, his lower colon filled with a personal creamy fondue of my own devising.
He looked disappointed tbh, and I can't say I blamed him - I'd cum within three minutes, satisfied at my now-depleted nutsack as Dwyer's own two-inch acorn went unspent.
He shook my hand, and I found it hard to read him, though I could tell I wouldn't get asked a second time.
"Thanks for stopping by," he said, and closed his front door, shutting me out of his life for good.
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