Anyone Ever Battle w Addiction?

[embryo]

To drugs or alcohol? Anything from pot to heroin? I am having some struggles right now, I am not even sure if this is appropriate to post on this forum and if it is I apologize and the mods can feel free to delete it, I do not want to break any rules. Just looking to see if there is anyone I can talk to or if we can have an open discussion and maybe help each other out, if there is more than one person dealing with some substance abuse problem. I won't go into graphic detail, I just want to see if there is anyone else who wouldn't mind discussing stuff related to this, whether it's a past experience that you overcame and beat, or are still struggling with or someone you know and cared about dealt with. I'm ready to quit, I'm just very scared of the side effects and withdrawals, which won't be terrible but my living situation is such that I have such easy access to these drugs and the dealers just love giving them to me for free (spotting me) and I will pay them back, which I always do (otherwise I risk them doing something like messing with my property or violence related..etc)

I got myself into this ****ty situation and I have t get myself out. I am afraid to tell my family and ask for help because it's very humiliating to be the "family drug addict loser". I know I'm not a loser, but I feel like one when I compare myself to others. I mean I watch Floyd Mayweather...he was a millionaire at my age, I'm in my late 20's...I know it's silly to do that but I do it. I compare myself to people who are more successful than me and to get rid of feeling so inferior, I started getting high. It started off innocent enough, I would just get high after taking care of all my daily responsibilities and then just come home and sit back and watch some old time or 80's/90's boxing stuff on youtube, or go on a forum, watch documentaries, chat with friends, and then as time went on I noticed that when I wasn't high and doing these things, I noticed that the drugs were missing...like I couldn't enjoy these things anymore unless the drugs were involved. That is where I am now. And I have to quit, I can't afford this habit and I've become very isolated, no real friends except these drug addict losers (I guess I'm one of them, but I don't hang out with them at all). All my friends I grew up with moved away, are successful or at least working and have their own places or are in college. I'm still trying to find my way, and these drugs are totally ****ing up my progress.

[embryo]

I appreciate anyone who actually read all that and has a response. I'm just very scared...afraid I'll end up like Sonny Liston. I'm in great physical shape, and I'm sure he was too at the time of his death, but that scares me...that you can be in such great shape, even a pro athlete, and still OD so easily. I don't use large amounts of what I Do compared to what I see the people at the drug dealers house doing. Some of them literally do 20 times the amount that I do in a single day, which is utterly insane. But they've been using for years, I've only been using for a few months. I'm terrified of becoming one of them.

[B0XXING FAN]

There are loads of 'us'...

I appreciate anyone who actually read all that and has a response. I'm just very scared...afraid I'll end up like Sonny Liston. I'm in great physical shape, and I'm sure he was too at the time of his death, but that scares me...that you can be in such great shape, even a pro athlete, and still OD so easily. I don't use large amounts of what I Do compared to what I see the people at the drug dealers house doing. Some of them literally do 20 times the amount that I do in a single day, which is utterly insane. But they've been using for years, I've only been using for a few months. I'm terrified of becoming one of them.

Do not be disheartened. Lots of people battle addictions of all sorts and i for one can relate. The problem really comes to light when you actually take a look at the bigger picture and realise how much money, time and mental strength it takes out of you - even something as small as weed -

I've been a drug addict for 12 or so years now. I got married last month and my wife although knows at one time i was heavily involved and in distribution, she has no idea i am still using albeit very less.

You need to find a drive, a focus/goal. I've recently bought a house and focus all my efforts on that. Painting, decorating, fixing anything...but will always find myself waiting to be on my own so i can have my 'fix' (nothing hardcore - but still the same).

What doesn't help is that I am a type 1 diabetic, and stresses in life always become reasons to going down roads like this. My brother, nephew and best friend passed away less than a year ago and i feel like something is always missing from my life - even when i am not high, i just feel the 'need' to get high is always there.

I can totally relate to you and feel as if i am in the same boat. I've moved away from the 'hood and set up my own life - away from such company and friends - although they still call me - i find myself isolated from everything yet still dependent on...

Joining the gym is a good idea. Also, a pet - i have a B&G macaw who i try spend alot of time with.

Don't give up - remember life is less expensive when you are not high, and you have more reasons not to than you have to get high.


All the best mate - feel free to PM me if you ever want to have a rant.

[Psylence83]

You already made the first step!! You realise it's a problem and you want to stop!!
Well done!! Be proud! Small steps are better than no steps!!
Hang in there !!

[D-MiZe]

It's never too late.

Cut off contact with your 'friends' that are involved in the scene, if you lie down with dogs you'll get up with fleas. Get scared. Read up about all the side effects and long term damage that will happen if you continue.

Are you a bitch, Embryo?

Whatever drug you're taking has made you it's bitch. Look at how you shake and crave for it's company. How far have you gone just to get it? Shit, you can't even function without it.

You mad?

You should be. Don't be mad at me or yourself, be mad at whatever substance you think you need. You can see the damage it's doing to you and it will get worse. Do not despair, you are strong enough to conquer this. Get angry, real fucking angry. You say you're in great physical shape so I assume you already go to gym. How's your diet?

Do not compare yourself to others either, that's a very bad path to take. You're born alone, you die alone - only you can live your life. Take every day as it comes, each day clean is a victory. Remember that and each night before you fall asleep, tell yourself that you're proud you beat it today. Protect yourself at all times. You will slip if you aren't careful.

Lastly, you're a boxing fan. You know how the Rocky story goes, why can't you write your own?

[SAN D13GO VILLAN]

I'm on the same boat...best thing to do is to soround yourself around sober people, that will help you not think about it.

[Facade]

I see it's been a while since you opened this topic. How're you doing now? My advice would be to get professional help if you haven't already.

Although i don't know you, going by your story your addiction seems to have taken its toll on your self-esteem and you judge yourself very harshly. Getting over this addiction will take hard work, persistance and the belief you can do it. The conviction that you are a loser doesn't really help with that.

I think it takes more than me telling you aren't a loser to fix that. Not to say that it is impossible to do without help, but I think you have a better chance with some help. Good luck in any case.

[Weltschmerz]

If you say withdrawals will not be terrible, I would say take the cold turkey.

This requires WILL. If you aren't strong enough for that, you should seek professional help, and reach out to your family and loved ones. There is no shame in becoming addicted, but it sure is a shame not to take action - for your own sake and people around you.

[SouthPawHitman]

Yes. I am currently having problems with painkillers. I,much like yourself,am in great physical condition. I joke around on here a lot but I am 100% serious right now.

I'm a young man and I'm scared.

[embryo]

Well sorry to ressurect an old thread but I just wanted to say I went to rehab for 3 weeks, inpatient, it was intense...I got out at the end of September and since then I have been in a PHP (partial hospitalization program) where I have to go to this rehab place everyday from 8 AM- 3 PM and its just like groups and talking about your feelings and **** and you can choose which groups to go to, like they have Art Therapy (which I never go to) and groups for depression and anxiety, drug addiction, medittion (mindfulness, DBT skills) and stuff like that. This whole experience has been really good for me, even though when I was in the inpatient rehab, the first 2-3 days I was really anxious and miserable and I called my mom and told her to get me the hell out of there but she said no way, I have to go through this. And my doctor told me if I try to sign myself out against medical advice, she would "commit me" meaning I wouldn't be able to leave because she thinks im mentally unable to leave. And I'm glad she did that, even though I hated her for the first week. but I settled in. I've been totally clean since Sept 7th when I went to the inpatient rehab (Princeton House in Princeton, NJ...its a very good facility.)

I had a lot of fun once I settled in, everyone there was hilarious and we all made the best of having to be there. Such a diversity of people, you could have made a reality show.

Thank you guys for the support, I remembered and thought about some of the things you guys said while I was laying in my bed miserable and feeling hopeless and like my life would never get any better. But I feel so much better now, motivated and excited to start a new life once I'm done with this outpatient program.

Any by the way, I found out my drug dealer had his house raided by the police, he's in jail $30,000 bail and facing up to 5 years in prison. I could've been at that house, I used to sleep there and just smoke blunts and snort dope all night.

Anyway things are going well and I have a positive outlook for the present moment and the future. I learned a lot in rehab and in this outpatient program.

Okay, now back to the Crawford -Derry Jean fight!