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Here we go, here's how I've got 'em, no particular order:
Immanuel Aleem - He was KTFO in his last fight, but I'll never forget one he had earlier in his career, I saw it on Green Teef TV - he hits the opponent so hard that the ref stops it, but the guy who's out on his feet is so KTFO that he starts celebrating because he was so out of it he thought he'd won. That's legendary stuff.
Lomenchenko - Put on his ass last night, but I like this dancer. Is there anything he can't do? I wish he was more of a dish, though... I like to imagine sucking off boxers when I watch them. Not in a gay way. Not too keen on him indicating to the ref for borderline infractions though... reminded me of when Arthur Abrahammer used to get punched in the head and said to the ref "he hit my ballshun."
Tyson Fury - Is it possible that anyone can pwn this guy? The king of pwn, he never fails to make me laugh. Remember: as a boxer, it's more important to be a cunt than to be a good boxer.
Pretty Ricky Conlon - What's not to like? Sure, he's a solid cherry picker but at least he's honest about it. Under his stage name "Tony Bellew", he's guaranteed to make press conferences exciting.
Gennady Gonad Golovkin - I tell you what did bug me about this guy, and made me question his place on this list (as well as the fact that his fights are nearly always a little one-sided and so aren't that exciting)... that time when he had a questionable win over whatsiface, the Yank with the sticky out ears. And at the end when they asked him why no KO, he went "we make drama show, I wanted to go to points." Course you did, mate. Course you did. Don't bullshit.
Canelo Alvarez. I don't actually rate Canelo as a boxer, entertainer OR a dish. In fact, I didn't even want him on this list at all. Unfortunately I was overruled by the publisher of The Ring magazine, who insisted on it.
Amir Khan: What's not to like? He's fast, he's an utter bellend, and he's got a chin that even Tommy Morrison would laugh at. In fact, Tommy Morrison laughed so hard at Amir he gave himself AIDS. What I love about an Amir fight is that even if he's won every round and there's only ten seconds left on the clock I'll still be thinking "I bet the daft cunt's gonna get knocked out in a minute." Plus, even when he wins you can have a laugh at his bullshit in the interview afterwards, like telling Kell Brook he's not running from him.... while running from him.
Carl Frampton. I do enjoy some Jackal time, I must admit. That last fight was a bit of a turd, though, as it was obvious it was going one way from the first few rounds... and my connection cut out during the round where something happened.
Danny Williams - Still fights on, eight years after he retired. Most of his fights now are in places like Turkey, the only places he can get a license. His last three fights were wins, two by stoppage, against opponents with a combined 9-91-1 record, but generally it's a horrible situation and I never watch him any more. Even in fights he does well in, he's either given dodgy stoppages by crooked referees, or given points losses in fights he won. But a lot of the time it's watching a 44-year-old who has been shot for 13 years being smashed around like a heavy bag. It's sad stuff, really.
The Batty Windmiller - A guy who stands with his feet so wide apart they're in different timezones, and who fights like Stephen Hawking... yet wins by knockout anyway, thanks to having a nuclear bomb in his right glove. What's not to like?
Bubbling under: George Groves, Billy Joe Saunders (who I used to hate, but almost gets in purely for that "look outside the ring" move in his last fight) and Anthony Joshua.
Immanuel Aleem - He was KTFO in his last fight, but I'll never forget one he had earlier in his career, I saw it on Green Teef TV - he hits the opponent so hard that the ref stops it, but the guy who's out on his feet is so KTFO that he starts celebrating because he was so out of it he thought he'd won. That's legendary stuff.
Lomenchenko - Put on his ass last night, but I like this dancer. Is there anything he can't do? I wish he was more of a dish, though... I like to imagine sucking off boxers when I watch them. Not in a gay way. Not too keen on him indicating to the ref for borderline infractions though... reminded me of when Arthur Abrahammer used to get punched in the head and said to the ref "he hit my ballshun."
Tyson Fury - Is it possible that anyone can pwn this guy? The king of pwn, he never fails to make me laugh. Remember: as a boxer, it's more important to be a cunt than to be a good boxer.
Pretty Ricky Conlon - What's not to like? Sure, he's a solid cherry picker but at least he's honest about it. Under his stage name "Tony Bellew", he's guaranteed to make press conferences exciting.
Gennady Gonad Golovkin - I tell you what did bug me about this guy, and made me question his place on this list (as well as the fact that his fights are nearly always a little one-sided and so aren't that exciting)... that time when he had a questionable win over whatsiface, the Yank with the sticky out ears. And at the end when they asked him why no KO, he went "we make drama show, I wanted to go to points." Course you did, mate. Course you did. Don't bullshit.
Canelo Alvarez. I don't actually rate Canelo as a boxer, entertainer OR a dish. In fact, I didn't even want him on this list at all. Unfortunately I was overruled by the publisher of The Ring magazine, who insisted on it.
Amir Khan: What's not to like? He's fast, he's an utter bellend, and he's got a chin that even Tommy Morrison would laugh at. In fact, Tommy Morrison laughed so hard at Amir he gave himself AIDS. What I love about an Amir fight is that even if he's won every round and there's only ten seconds left on the clock I'll still be thinking "I bet the daft cunt's gonna get knocked out in a minute." Plus, even when he wins you can have a laugh at his bullshit in the interview afterwards, like telling Kell Brook he's not running from him.... while running from him.
Carl Frampton. I do enjoy some Jackal time, I must admit. That last fight was a bit of a turd, though, as it was obvious it was going one way from the first few rounds... and my connection cut out during the round where something happened.
Danny Williams - Still fights on, eight years after he retired. Most of his fights now are in places like Turkey, the only places he can get a license. His last three fights were wins, two by stoppage, against opponents with a combined 9-91-1 record, but generally it's a horrible situation and I never watch him any more. Even in fights he does well in, he's either given dodgy stoppages by crooked referees, or given points losses in fights he won. But a lot of the time it's watching a 44-year-old who has been shot for 13 years being smashed around like a heavy bag. It's sad stuff, really.
The Batty Windmiller - A guy who stands with his feet so wide apart they're in different timezones, and who fights like Stephen Hawking... yet wins by knockout anyway, thanks to having a nuclear bomb in his right glove. What's not to like?
Bubbling under: George Groves, Billy Joe Saunders (who I used to hate, but almost gets in purely for that "look outside the ring" move in his last fight) and Anthony Joshua.
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