Pinoy Lang

[Dale Cardon]

Girl Goes to Confession


Girl goes to confess to a priest...

Girl: Forgive me father for I have sinned. My sin is my boyfriend had me touch and massage his pen*s.

Father: For that you have to go and wash your hands in holy water basin

Girl says thanks and proceeds to the holy water basin. As she approached the basin she finds another girl gargling the water!

[Dale Cardon]

Funny Joke - Sex is like...



Sex is like...

NIKE - " Just do it!"

NOKIA - "Connecting People"

SAN MIGUEL - "Isa pa nga!"

[Dale Cardon]

The Cardiologist


A Cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following
the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart
then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes
stared at him, he said, 'I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral.......I'm a Gynecologist.'

The Proctologist fainted.

[Dale Cardon]

Not Selling Sex




Policeman arresting a prostitute:

Prostitute: I'm not selling sex!

Police officer: Then what are you doing?

Porstitute: I'm selling condoms with free demonstration!

[Dale Cardon]

What is sex?

Husband: A minute of pleasure, then years of pressure!

Wife: Moments of ecstasy, followed by decades of slavery.

Mistress: Just stolen time, but never mine

Hooker: NEXT!

[Dale Cardon]

Best business

Hooker #1: We are the best in the best business in the world!

Hooker #2: Why is that?

Hooker #1: We have it, we sell it... we still have it, and sell it again!

[Dale Cardon]

TAKUSA jokes

paging pareng Kadyo and serv hehe



Here are 5 Funny Pinoy Quotes from the Takusa (Takot sa asawa):

Quote: "Ako ang Tigas sa amin"

What it really means: "Ako ang tiga-saing ng kanin at tigas-sundo ng bata sa school

--------------------

Quote: "Gagawin ko kahit ayaw ng misis ko"

What it really means:"Gagawin kong maghugas ng pinggan kahit ayaw niya, gagawin kong maglaba kahit ayaw niya!"

--------------------

Quote: "Kapag ako napuno, magyayaya ako ng hiwalayan!"

What it really means: "Hiwalay ang puti sa decolor pag napuno a labada!"

--------------------

Quote: "Lahat ng utos ko ay pasigaw!"

What it really means: "Hoy bilisan mo yang kape at giniginaw na ako dito sa labahan!"

--------------------

Quote: "Ako ang laging nasusunod!"

What it really means: "Pag sinabi kong ako maglalaba, ako maglalaba! Pagsinabi ko ako magluluto, ako magluluto!"

---------------------

[Dehydrator]

Mga parekoy, I have this karma gif on my cp that really annoys me. I already got hit with 4 greens and one more hit from anybody it will disappear. baka kasi makita ni bossing. hehehe

salamas

[kadyo's]

Mga parekoy, I have this karma gif on my cp that really annoys me. I already got hit with 4 greens and one more hit from anybody it will disappear. baka kasi makita ni bossing. hehehe

salamas

Lagay mo sa ignore list yung nagbigay, pag marami nang nagbigay sayo at nalagpasan na yung gif pwede mo na syang tangalin sa ignore list.

[Dehydrator]

Lagay mo sa ignore list yung nagbigay, pag marami nang nagbigay sayo at nalagpasan na yung gif pwede mo na syang tangalin sa ignore list.

oo nga pala, hehehe

salamas pareng kadyo.