Another one of my failures

[b Murphington]

I was just thinking about this one and I don’t think I ever mentioned it before, so here it goes. Let me set the scene.

It was late October about 6 years ago. I was working the university’s haunted house as a scare actor. We were all fooling around during our downtime. I half jokingly asked for a girls number. Idk why. I’m weird as f.uck. She was a big ‘ol girl. Chunky monkey.

She like couldn’t believe it. She goes, “really?” Well anyways, got her number cool. Then we go back to the dorm lounge to watch a horror movie with some people from my floor. She’s holding my hand, but I wasn’t feeling it.

It’s late. I walk her back to her dorm room. I’m in her bed with her. She says I can stay the night if I want. I said no. Gave some stupid excuse that I need to take out my contact lenses and brush my teeth. She tried reaching out to me several times, but I gave her the cold shoulder.

I pretty much turned down a fat chick.

Big mistake?

[Johnnyrider]

Fat chicks are good to keep around.warmth in the winter,shade in the summer!

[Redd Foxx]

You shouldn't regret it.

When I look back at some of the chicks I turned down and situations I shied out of, I just wince in pain. I'm talking about twosomes with hot BFFs who wanted to share me because I was a musician, shyt like that. I was a real good boy for so many years. Then this crazy bytch fuked my life up and I went on a pu$$y destroying mission, bagging everything I could get.

TBH, sex meant so much more when I respected it and didn't just give it out. Now, I'm a huge pain in the ass who gets bored super easy. I'd enjoy sex more if I hadn't overdone it.

[TJ highway]

In the 80's I was stuck in the on a ship twice over 45 days at sea in the Persian Gulf. Before personal computers, DVD players, Satellite TV, internet & cell phones. After three weeks I started thinking of all the fat chicks I turned down. No shame in doing a fat chick! Even AC/DC wrote about it!

[Tony Trick-Pony]

I was just thinking about this one and I don’t think I ever mentioned it before, so here it goes. Let me set the scene.

It was late October about 6 years ago. I was working the university’s haunted house as a scare actor. We were all fooling around during our downtime. I half jokingly asked for a girls number. Idk why. I’m weird as f.uck. She was a big ‘ol girl. Chunky monkey.

She like couldn’t believe it. She goes, “really?” Well anyways, got her number cool. Then we go back to the dorm lounge to watch a horror movie with some people from my floor. She’s holding my hand, but I wasn’t feeling it.

It’s late. I walk her back to her dorm room. I’m in her bed with her. She says I can stay the night if I want. I said no. Gave some stupid excuse that I need to take out my contact lenses and brush my teeth. She tried reaching out to me several times, but I gave her the cold shoulder.

I pretty much turned down a fat chick.

Big mistake?

Ah, well, if you don't do it, the next mofo will...

It's good to plant the flag on a fatty now and then.

But wrap up, bruh...

[Zpar]

I was just thinking about this one and I don’t think I ever mentioned it before, so here it goes. Let me set the scene.

It was late October about 6 years ago. I was working the university’s haunted house as a scare actor. We were all fooling around during our downtime. I half jokingly asked for a girls number. Idk why. I’m weird as f.uck. She was a big ‘ol girl. Chunky monkey.

She like couldn’t believe it. She goes, “really?” Well anyways, got her number cool. Then we go back to the dorm lounge to watch a horror movie with some people from my floor. She’s holding my hand, but I wasn’t feeling it.

It’s late. I walk her back to her dorm room. I’m in her bed with her. She says I can stay the night if I want. I said no. Gave some stupid excuse that I need to take out my contact lenses and brush my teeth. She tried reaching out to me several times, but I gave her the cold shoulder.

I pretty much turned down a fat chick.

Big mistake?

Don't turn down the fatties man 🤨

Most people in this country are overweight. It's only realistic to end up with one.

If you care about her weight so much then just help her start a training regimen using health as an excuse

There could be a plus size supermodel under all that fat you never know

I'm fat right now and I still think I'm the hottest guy in the world when in shape. My lady says being fat fits me. I disagree; I think it's just uber hotness that gets me by.

Give her a chance to prove she Selena Gomez under all that man. Have you seen Selena when she don't work out for a week? She blows up like Ricky Hatton. People are people man. Help her before her eyeballs start popping like mine right now.