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I was on the tube, and sitting opposite me was this fucking WHALE. I swear to God, she must have been about 400lbs, and just one of her thighs was bigger than my entire body.
She sat there, looking like Dumbo's gran, stinking the place out with sweat and flopping her ten bellies all over the carriage. Next to her she had two of those large trolley suitcases. I have no idea what was in them, but if I had to guess, I'd have said her mid-morning snack.
Anyway, as she gets off the tube, one of her bags gets stuck in between the gap between the platform, and she's really struggling with it. I thought to myself "I'd better help that fat fucking bitch out."
I said, "do you want a hand, ****?"
All of sudden she opens her mouth, and, well... **** me. Why hadn't I guessed? Straight away it's all "oh honey, that's like, so totally freakin' sweet, you Briddish guys are all so well-mannered in this quaint country of yours. I freakin' love Europe."
What a great big fat fucking fat fucking fat Yank.
She sat there, looking like Dumbo's gran, stinking the place out with sweat and flopping her ten bellies all over the carriage. Next to her she had two of those large trolley suitcases. I have no idea what was in them, but if I had to guess, I'd have said her mid-morning snack.
Anyway, as she gets off the tube, one of her bags gets stuck in between the gap between the platform, and she's really struggling with it. I thought to myself "I'd better help that fat fucking bitch out."
I said, "do you want a hand, ****?"
All of sudden she opens her mouth, and, well... **** me. Why hadn't I guessed? Straight away it's all "oh honey, that's like, so totally freakin' sweet, you Briddish guys are all so well-mannered in this quaint country of yours. I freakin' love Europe."
What a great big fat fucking fat fucking fat Yank.
Originally posted by Sterling Archer