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Old 06-30-2016, 10:21 AM #1
!! Anorak !! Anorak is offline
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Question Do you reckon Mohammed wasn't really a prophet but made it up as an excuse?

I can picture the scene now:


630AD, Allaballastan:
Two of Mohammed's mates (buddies) come up to him:


Akbad Gupta:
"Brother Mohammed, what are you up to right now?"

Mohammed:
"Errrr.......... nothing...........?"

Akbad:
"You lying ****, I just saw you fucking that 9-year-old."

Mohammed:
"No... no I wasn't... not me."

Akbad:
"I just saw you, you lying bastard. You were nut deep."

Mohammed:
"errrr.... yeah. She's... my wife."

Akbad:
"You wife, you dirty ****? That's fucked up."

Mohammed:
"No, it's... the will of Allah. If you say any more may Allah himself conjure some horned demons to smite your mothers and offer a Jihad. You will be bloody fuckings stoned, isn't it?"

Akbad:
"For real?"

Mohammed:
"Errrrr... yeah. I'm his prophet. He just told me. Honest."

Akbad:
"I just thought you were being perverted."

Mohammed:
"No, it's the bloody fucking will of Allah that is makings me do it."

Akbad:
"Oh, okay then. I'll get back to fucking my camel."
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Old 06-30-2016, 10:25 AM #2
Zaroku Zaroku is online now
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What he said. ^^^^^^
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Old 06-30-2016, 10:40 AM #3
Zaroku Zaroku is online now
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Then his epilepsy kicked in and the satanic verses were flowing like water.

Foaming at the mouth the "prophet" had visions of nude nine year olds dancing in his head. Some lil boys too!

The more mohammed foamed at the mouth, the more fantastic were the visions he had. His visions and revelations flowed to suit his perverse sexual desires.

He was once caught drilling his flying donkey! Then the "last prophet"

revealed that he was just fueling up his trusty winged donkey for a night flight to Jerusalem.

This revelation from the prophet was taken to heart! Soon donkey tail, took me n a whole new meaning. That azz must have been good. Many Muslims still pound donkey til this day, in honor of the prophet!
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Old 06-30-2016, 10:41 AM #4
Eff Pandas Eff Pandas is online now
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I think all religion creators did that.
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Old 06-30-2016, 10:47 AM #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by !! Anorak View Post
I can picture the scene now:


630AD, Allaballastan:
Two of Mohammed's mates (buddies) come up to him:


Akbad Gupta:
"Brother Mohammed, what are you up to right now?"

Mohammed:
"Errrr.......... nothing...........?"

Akbad:
"You lying ****, I just saw you fucking that 9-year-old."

Mohammed:
"No... no I wasn't... not me."

Akbad:
"I just saw you, you lying bastard. You were nut deep."

Mohammed:
"errrr.... yeah. She's... my wife."

Akbad:
"You wife, you dirty ****? That's fucked up."

Mohammed:
"No, it's... the will of Allah. If you say any more may Allah himself conjure some horned demons to smite your mothers and offer a Jihad. You will be bloody fuckings stoned, isn't it?"

Akbad:
"For real?"

Mohammed:
"Errrrr... yeah. I'm his prophet. He just told me. Honest."

Akbad:
"I just thought you were being perverted."

Mohammed:
"No, it's the bloody fucking will of Allah that is makings me do it."

Akbad:
"Oh, okay then. I'll get back to fucking my camel."
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****in gold
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Old 06-30-2016, 01:39 PM #6
The Ox The Ox is offline
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Prophet AlexKid is the only true one
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Old 06-30-2016, 01:47 PM #7
ИATAS ИATAS is offline
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also turns out Jesus' abilities may have been highly exaggeratedt:

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Old 06-30-2016, 02:04 PM #8
Weltschmerz Weltschmerz is offline
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Sticky this as the only thread on islam, please.
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Old 06-30-2016, 02:25 PM #9
Ruthless One Ruthless One is offline
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A lot of religions probably started that way I bet, especially if there is a "prophet" involved. People were 1000x more easily fooled back in the day
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Old 06-30-2016, 06:57 PM #10
Weltschmerz Weltschmerz is offline
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What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?

Bisexual.
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