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1. Partner detachment
In a healthy relationship, we talk to each other, ask questions about each other’s thoughts, feelings, and day.
As expert marriage researcher John Gottman says, we make bids for each other’s attention and the health of that relationship depends on how often we respond to those bids.
When you try and share something with your partner, do they turn toward you and express interest? Or do they blow you off?
The detachment can show up in many different ways. Perhaps you used to fight all the time, you were passionate about your communication and exchanges.
Now your partner can’t be bothered to fight. They respond with one-word sentences.
What are some other signs your wife or husband doesn't love you anymore?
Your partner could be distant emotionally and/or physically. Even if you ask, your partner won’t open up and share how they’re feeling.
And rather than spending time together, your spouse is making plans with other people or spending more and more time out of the house. They are physically and emotionally pulling away.
Your partner might show zero interest in making any plans. They are so distant and detached that they are not willing to plan anything together — no holidays, no date nights, and no home repairs or remodels.
They are not thinking about a future together, they are busy making plans for themselves.
Nobel Laureate, Elie Weisel said that "the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference." Rather than checking in with you, your partner is checking out.
2. Everything is a fight
Sometimes the sign is apathy and indifference, and other times, it’s frustration, annoyance, and even anger. Your spouse’s temper is hot and their fuse is short.
They blow up at the slightest provocation. They snap at you for every little thing, and you’re the one they blame. You’re at fault for all of the problems.
You feel like you can never do anything right, and you’re walking on eggshells in your own home.
3. Lack of intimacy
There are many types of intimacy in a relationship. It could be physical like holding hands, massage, hugs, kisses, and sexual connection. It could also be emotional like being vulnerable, sharing feelings, and deep conversations.
Marriages thrive on intimacy and connection. When the intimacy changes you need to pay attention. Are you and your spouse more like roommates than lovers? Or worse yet, total strangers?
So, what to do when your husband doesn't want you? Or, when your wife won't get intimate?
Take a moment to consider your intimacy habits.
Intimacy is a very strong indicator of how healthy a relationship is. There isn’t a prescribed number of times you should be having sex per week (despite many articles and statistics on the subject), but if your frequency changes, or the type of sex changes (where did my spouse learn those new moves?!), that may be a sign.
4. Secrets
Another strong sign is when your spouse suddenly becomes secretive about their phone calls, texts, emails, and/or mail.
There could be another person involved — they could be having an affair. Or your spouse could be doing research about getting divorced, and reaching out to professionals, such as family law attorneys, or financial advisors, etc.
When you question your spouse, they act evasive or even tell you lies.
5. Financial changes
Be on the lookout for any changes in the financial arena of your marriage. Has your spouse changed the passwords to your accounts without telling you?
Have there been any major changes in your assets? Has your spouse opened an equity line of credit on your house or a new bank account or are even applying for additional credit cards?
Or maybe your spouse was previously not interested in the family finances and now they are starting to ask questions or requesting copies of statements and tax returns.
The above are some of the major signs to look out for but there are others that may be more subtle.
Maybe your spouse has started focusing on their appearance when they never did before. Or takes a sudden interest in the kids. Or there’s a new insistence to move closer to family.
The interest in appearance could mean they’re hoping to attract someone else. The interest in the kids could be so that they look good in the eyes of the court if there’s a custody battle. The request to move closer to home may be to provide some support during and after the divorce.
In a healthy relationship, we talk to each other, ask questions about each other’s thoughts, feelings, and day.
As expert marriage researcher John Gottman says, we make bids for each other’s attention and the health of that relationship depends on how often we respond to those bids.
When you try and share something with your partner, do they turn toward you and express interest? Or do they blow you off?
The detachment can show up in many different ways. Perhaps you used to fight all the time, you were passionate about your communication and exchanges.
Now your partner can’t be bothered to fight. They respond with one-word sentences.
What are some other signs your wife or husband doesn't love you anymore?
Your partner could be distant emotionally and/or physically. Even if you ask, your partner won’t open up and share how they’re feeling.
And rather than spending time together, your spouse is making plans with other people or spending more and more time out of the house. They are physically and emotionally pulling away.
Your partner might show zero interest in making any plans. They are so distant and detached that they are not willing to plan anything together — no holidays, no date nights, and no home repairs or remodels.
They are not thinking about a future together, they are busy making plans for themselves.
Nobel Laureate, Elie Weisel said that "the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference." Rather than checking in with you, your partner is checking out.
2. Everything is a fight
Sometimes the sign is apathy and indifference, and other times, it’s frustration, annoyance, and even anger. Your spouse’s temper is hot and their fuse is short.
They blow up at the slightest provocation. They snap at you for every little thing, and you’re the one they blame. You’re at fault for all of the problems.
You feel like you can never do anything right, and you’re walking on eggshells in your own home.
3. Lack of intimacy
There are many types of intimacy in a relationship. It could be physical like holding hands, massage, hugs, kisses, and sexual connection. It could also be emotional like being vulnerable, sharing feelings, and deep conversations.
Marriages thrive on intimacy and connection. When the intimacy changes you need to pay attention. Are you and your spouse more like roommates than lovers? Or worse yet, total strangers?
So, what to do when your husband doesn't want you? Or, when your wife won't get intimate?
Take a moment to consider your intimacy habits.
Intimacy is a very strong indicator of how healthy a relationship is. There isn’t a prescribed number of times you should be having sex per week (despite many articles and statistics on the subject), but if your frequency changes, or the type of sex changes (where did my spouse learn those new moves?!), that may be a sign.
4. Secrets
Another strong sign is when your spouse suddenly becomes secretive about their phone calls, texts, emails, and/or mail.
There could be another person involved — they could be having an affair. Or your spouse could be doing research about getting divorced, and reaching out to professionals, such as family law attorneys, or financial advisors, etc.
When you question your spouse, they act evasive or even tell you lies.
5. Financial changes
Be on the lookout for any changes in the financial arena of your marriage. Has your spouse changed the passwords to your accounts without telling you?
Have there been any major changes in your assets? Has your spouse opened an equity line of credit on your house or a new bank account or are even applying for additional credit cards?
Or maybe your spouse was previously not interested in the family finances and now they are starting to ask questions or requesting copies of statements and tax returns.
The above are some of the major signs to look out for but there are others that may be more subtle.
Maybe your spouse has started focusing on their appearance when they never did before. Or takes a sudden interest in the kids. Or there’s a new insistence to move closer to family.
The interest in appearance could mean they’re hoping to attract someone else. The interest in the kids could be so that they look good in the eyes of the court if there’s a custody battle. The request to move closer to home may be to provide some support during and after the divorce.
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