[PLEASE HELP] Is she being condescending toward me?

[dachillinvillin]

So we have a computer in the break room at work, i was on break with 2 female coworkers, both older ladies in their 50's. One of our coworkers (24 year old female, very attractive) who isn't even on break walks in and starts conversing with one of the ladies who is sitting on my right hand side, while im in front of the computer. I turn up the volume a little bit on the speaker, as im watching a youtube video. It wasn't even loud at all, the 24 year old girl hits the space bar to pause my video and tells me "that is super rude, im trying to have a conversation with her" with a tone you'd expect from your mother, when she corrected you back when you were 12...I just sat there in shock, i didn't even bother to unpause it...the conversation was about something so unimportant that i dont know why this ***** got all pissy with me...what do you think this girls deal is? how should i have handled this situation?

[Bundt]

Her actions tell me that she has no respect for you or your position. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have done that to someone who could possibly affect her position in the company.

OR, that’s her way of playing hard to get.

[Mighty_Windir]

My 2 cents:

I detest when I sit on a table and someone sits next to me and starts watching videos AS LOUD AS THEY CAN. She probably felt the same way when you raised the volume, it is disrespectful to do that specially when people are having a conversation. Was she right in what she did? Probably not, you were there first, but I bet she was super mad, I kinda understand her position a bit, not justifiable though.

I do everything within my power to sit alone on break and avoid people, specially those who are inconsiderate and think they're the only ones on the table while watching stupid videos.

I truly detest when people do that, it grinds my gears, no wonder I like going by myself on break

[dachillinvillin]

My 2 cents:

I detest when I sit on a table and someone sits next to me and starts watching videos AS LOUD AS THEY CAN. She probably felt the same way when you raised the volume, it is disrespectful to do that specially when people are having a conversation. Was she right in what she did? Probably not, you were there first, but I bet she was super mad, I kinda understand her position a bit, not justifiable though.

I do everything within my power to sit alone on break and avoid people, specially those who are inconsiderate and think they're the only ones on the table while watching stupid videos.

I truly detest when people do that, it grinds my gears, no wonder I like going by myself on break

Another thing i didn't add was that after she had stopped talking to the lady next to me, she stood there for another minute and i asked her "can i unpause the video now?" and she told me "no"....so i sat there with it paused til she left.

[Rockybigblower]

Question 1: Why did you turn the volume up?

Question 2: Why were you eavesdropping on her conversation?

Raising the volume is passive/aggressive. If you were there first and they interrupted you...you should have asked them to lower their voices rather than act in such a childish way. Eavesdropping others conversations is quite rude...and the fact that you were doing that tells me that the video you were watching wasn't that important. Acting out is just a way to cover your innapproriate behaviour.

[Rockybigblower]

Another thing i didn't add was that after she had stopped talking to the lady next to me, she stood there for another minute and i asked her "can i unpause the video now?" and she told me "no"....so i sat there with it paused til she left.

[Beercules]

Might be playing hard to get

[travestyny]

Another thing i didn't add was that after she had stopped talking to the lady next to me, she stood there for another minute and i asked her "can i unpause the video now?" and she told me "no"....so i sat there with it paused til she left.

Well, she might have been right initially. I would have just apologized and let them finish up the convo.....

but at this point right here where you asked nicely if you could continue and she said no....nahhhhh, bro. I would have unpaused it and finished the vid. Seems she has an attitude problem. You don't have to listen to that skank

[todisday]

Another thing i didn't add was that after she had stopped talking to the lady next to me, she stood there for another minute and i asked her "can i unpause the video now?" and she told me "no"....so i sat there with it paused til she left.

Dude LOL

You gotta have some self-respect. If you go through life being nice like that, you'll get crushed. My life has been messed up in many ways because I was too nice to people.

From the sound of it, she might think you're some weird, nerdy guy, or a guy with mental issues. Whatever's going on, she seems to think she can pick on you.

It's best to be away from people, if you can. But if that's the only place you can be, then get earbuds, have one in your ear, and keep the other ear without anything in case you're needed for something. That way, you can watch your videos without her messing with you.

But this might be a sign of a bigger problem, too. If she spoke to you like that, she might not have any respect for you at all. Are you being too nice or trying to act funny with people? If you are, get it under control. Every time I've tried to be funny with people, they lose all respect for me, and end up thinking I'm nuts or stupid. Usually, it's because barely anyone understands dry humor. They take me seriously -_-''

I've seen multiple women become interested in me, and it ended once I thought I could be my true self and crack a couple jokes. You have no idea how superficial society is. While I was quiet and serious, they thought I was the dream guy. Once I started acting silly, treating them like a friend, bam. They didn't want anything to do with me. Not that I care, though, since I am in a relationship anyway, but you get my point.

It seems like a small problem, but if everyone starts creating all these theories as to you, it can come back to bite you. It could even cost you a job. Once someone important enough gives the word that they want you gone, other people will follow. That's just how jobs are. In my last job, everyone was trashing me near the end; they thought it was funny to diss me indirectly. I brought that on myself for being too nice to people. But I was someone who did his max every single day. It didn't matter. The fact I wasn't doing what they wanted me to do made them think it was okay to try to cast me in any light they wanted. I'm glad it happened, because it taught me a lesson.

It's a cutthroat world, man. Stick by yourself, and always be ready to find another place to work, if jobs are available. Don't stand out, in any way. The nail that stands out gets hammered. Stand up for yourself. If you are in the right, don't worry about if a certain person won't like you anymore. As long as you're being respectful, it's okay to hold your ground, on more important things. In this small case, adapt.

Above all, try to portray yourself in a positive way. How do you think Donald Trump manages to fool his base? It's because he's always exaggerating. He literally does nothing for most of his days, and then comes out and says everything's the best thing ever. You can learn from that. If you are negative, people will think negatively of you. If you remain positive, you make it harder for them to automatically portray you that way. It's like a shield. If you protect yourself, other people will see it's not as easy to puncture, and will hesitate. If you lower it, you're a sitting duck.

This doesn't mean that you should lie like he does, but make sure to have your own back. And if things you're being told about yourself aren't accurate, don't just stay quiet. People will assume that means they're true. You have to defend yourself, in a positive way.

[todisday]

Here ya go homie, simplified version:

Job Rules

1. Learn as quickly as possible, to avoid having to ask questions later
2. Don't be too nice or funny
3. Be aware of surroundings, adapt immediately toward anything negative
4. Always adapt in general, constantly
5. Stick by yourself
6. Don't stand out, adapt
7. Defend yourself in a positive way, don't lower your shield.
8. Don't lose your cool.
9. Remain positive about most things but serious
10. Forget about whether anyone gets along with you or not

Always be ready to find another job

(I'm still working on these, but from my limited experiences out in the jungle, this is what I have so far.)