I could really use an honest opinion about an incident that happened today

[Theodore]

TLDR: He lives in Baltimore, met a hipster bike rider, hipster bike rider gives him trouble, he gets out and shoves hipster bike rider, the son's OP didn't want him to get arrested.

[Longhaul]

Well to answer that I wanted to throw down, and since he was acting in a manner that suggested he did I wanted to give him that chance. I knew he was not armed I assessed that.

But what is interesting is that to me he was provoking the violent situation. He is riding next to me harassing me in a manner that to me was a provocation. I see your point though and it is something to consider.

Yeah it’s tough when he’s the aggressor and you have your kid with you.I guess it works both ways .If you don’t eliminate the aggressor it could make a situation that is dangerous to your son.

[.!WAR MIKEY!.]

LOl to me you came off like a pussy, why get out the car if you arent going to do anything? 2nd you gonna get seriously hurt or killed one day and possibly get your child seriously hurt/killed, and had the cops came you would have been the only one going to jail.

Me I dont get into confrontation, I get into altercations, BIG DIFFERENCE. If I step out the car these hands are flying no ands ifs or buts about it, im not talking and nothing anyone can say gonna stop me, HELL ITS HOW I GOT SHOT! IDGAF i punked fools who had straps my whole life so no biggie just this fool was down to pull the trigger, it happens and can happen to you and your son can catch a stray in the process all cause you think you know karate lmfao calm your ass down cause all you did was expose yourself to your son as some weak motherfucker lol, he saw you get into a shouting and shoving match lmfao he seen that type of shit in middle school now hes in HIGHSCHOOL where he seen dudes actually throw down for theirs so what you just did was just some lame shit that did nothing positive for you imo.

[Curtis Harper]

Your fault for living in Baltimore

[billeau2]

You gotta control that 'adrenaline dump'. It'll gas you out quick if it gets physical.

yes, but that is secondary. The first thing to do is learn how to welcome it in and let it start to work. One of the worse mistakes people who are untrained make is to mistake the symptoms for weakness of the body. So I always teach to become in touch with it, welcome it as it takes over. Then, you can control your metabolism at that point, as needed.

For example, I brought the adrenaline in, and I sure wanted to smash the guy, but I was very deliberate about not hitting him, pushing him enough to intimidate and not so he fell over his bike, etc. Learning how to think in that state...This is before critical mass, i.e., when tunnel vision takes over, when small movements go out the door, etc.

One other thing to be aware of: Most street confrontations are very short lived, you need to come out of the gate fast and alert.

[billeau2]

So do I but that's not the point. Legally they are not allowed on side walks. I've driven my bike on sidewalks numerous times if they arent being used but that's not always an option. I gave up using a bike to go to work because honestly I thought it was just a matter of time before I got hit. Went back to using my car.

Thats unfortunate. I don't want you to misunderstand my point of view. I actually can only count one other confrontation I ever had with a cyclist, years ago, much the same situation. Generally I am looking and anticipating what the cyclist needs to do... "can I give him/her more room on the side?, does he need to make a turn across my bow?" If I am turning right, is the cyclist riding in the right lane? (in which case I will let him go by first).

[billeau2]

Red - Right. Hence no need to pay him any mind.

i guess my error was thinking that you were more enlightened than you proved to be with this incident. You need to check back those Buddhist principles we spoke about.

Perhaps...But again, why would I lie about something like this? Regarding enlightenment: Nobody should ever claim they are enlightened. Everyone should try as best they can to be so. Its a process and we are all human. The only crime is not doing the best one can.

[billeau2]

I’m with you in spirit, but one should never get out of their car to confront a stranger unless you have no other choice. Let’s say he was stupid enough to provoke you further, he takes a swing or spits on you or shoves you back. Now let’s say you chin check him and he hits his head on the pavement and never regains consciousness. Now, you get arrested and possibly go to prison and are sued. All for what? Believe me, I’ve had my own runs ins with road rage, amd afterward I felt like a complete idiot because I had so much to lose over some idiot who I couldn’t care less about.

You have to learn to not take these type of incidents personally. He doesn’t know you amd his insults mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. This was also a learning moment for your son. Where he is old enough to drive he may just do the same thing and things can end badly for him. Things could also have gone badly for you if this guy got the upper hand, incapacitated you and then went after your son.

Next time you are confronted with a situation like this and you’re tempted to get out of your car, ask yourself this question— what have I got to gain, amd what have I got to lose? Chances are you have a lot more to lose.

Great post! Agreed 100% I did apologize to my son, but it is the wrong behavior to model for sure. I am lucky because my boy did know what I did was wrong. He actually said the same things you posted (though he thinks nobody could lick his dad! don't know why he got that idea).

[BostonGuy]

Insanely idiotic thing to do and even worse in front of you kid.

The chance of being harmed and/or arrested for engaging in unnecessary confrontations is not worth the risk.

What if the guy had a knife or gun and he attacked you? Do you think stopping is worth that risk?

What if you had just drove off and ignored the dude?

[billeau2]

You need some Anger Management dude before it’s too late! You threatened a guys life while in possession of a vehicle with your kid inside. Bro that hipster coulda been packing a pistol and would have been within his right to use lethal force when you threatened his life. Just seek anger management help, your setting the wrong example in front of your 15 year old acting like a lunatic

And here come the exxagerated "you need this, you need that" lol. I assesed that he was not packing and he was approaching my car space...when I got out of the car he was grabbing my door.

Look I can accept fault but some responses like this are ridiculous. I mean I might have demanded that he leave the car door alone, I might have just threatened to leave the car if he did not abate, but lets not get this twisted...

Even if he had a pistol (again I had checked and know how to check having been a bouncer for years) he was initiating the violence, lets get that straight. I did not pull over from a distance after an insult and challenge him. He was on my door frame being aggressive towards me.