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Old 05-17-2016, 10:11 AM #1
Allilang Allilang is offline
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Default Losing trust in a sparring partner

I'm a girl learning boxing in Korea. The girls here are all too weak and small so I have to spar with guys here.

There is a guy that I used to practice with, but our times at the gym haven't lined up very well so we haven't been able to spar in a long time. Today our trainer asked us to do some practice sparring where we pull our punches. In Korea they call it "meseu sparring" I don't know what its called in English.

I had already gone 6 rounds with other people and my left hand was injured, and he was fresh.

Well, the guy started hitting me without pulling his punches at all like I was a heavy bag. I asked him to stop 3 times in 20 seconds and he didn't stop. So I took my gear off and left the ring. My feelings were hurt far more than his punches, but the guy just gave me the cold shoulder from then on. He gave me a half hearted apology as I was about to leave.

My question is, how do you deal with this situation. I fear it's going to be awkward now. I don't think I trust going in the ring with him again now.
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Old 05-17-2016, 10:38 AM #2
Boxfan83 Boxfan83 is online now
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Originally Posted by Allilang View Post
I'm a girl learning boxing in Korea. The girls here are all too weak and small so I have to spar with guys here.

There is a guy that I used to practice with, but our times at the gym haven't lined up very well so we haven't been able to spar in a long time. Today our trainer asked us to do some practice sparring where we pull our punches. In Korea they call it "meseu sparring" I don't know what its called in English.

I had already gone 6 rounds with other people and my left hand was injured, and he was fresh.

Well, the guy started hitting me without pulling his punches at all like I was a heavy bag. I asked him to stop 3 times in 20 seconds and he didn't stop. So I took my gear off and left the ring. My feelings were hurt far more than his punches, but the guy just gave me the cold shoulder from then on. He gave me a half hearted apology as I was about to leave.

My question is, how do you deal with this situation. I fear it's going to be awkward now. I don't think I trust going in the ring with him again now.
A woman cannot post a question on NSB without a pic. Until we see one, your question will not get answered.
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Old 05-17-2016, 10:50 AM #3
Allilang Allilang is offline
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A woman cannot post a question on NSB without a pic. Until we see one, your question will not get answered.
So here I am talking about when a woman says "no" to being hit by a man and being ignored, and you have the nerve to make that kind of comment?
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Old 05-17-2016, 11:00 AM #4
AaronJW AaronJW is offline
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I do "mas" sparring here in Japan too, no idea where the word comes from lol.

Isn't the trainer watching the sparring? I'd ask him to tell your partner what non-contact sparring means.

Or you could explain it to him yourself, and if he says he knows, ask him why he was hitting you.


I sometimes have the same problem actually. I don't mind it though, but if I was tired with an injured hand I would.

Last edited by AaronJW; 05-17-2016 at 11:06 AM.
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Old 05-18-2016, 03:54 AM #5
Redd Foxx Redd Foxx is offline
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I've been through this a lot, particularly in jiu jitsu where you have to trust your partner not to dislocate your arm and such. There's always some insecure or inconsiderate pricks who don't get it and refuse to exhibit control. Don't be afraid to just tell them "no thanks" and if a coach asks, just say the individual is too aggressive. The strong ones in the gym are not the ones who refuse to take it down a notch, the strong ones are the ones who can make accommodations for someone without having their egos get involved.
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Old 05-18-2016, 03:58 AM #6
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Originally Posted by Allilang View Post
So here I am talking about when a woman says "no" to being hit by a man and being ignored, and you have the nerve to make that kind of comment?
He's just playing. He's actually a really good member, don't take it the wrong way. There's idiots here who will say something like that and actually mean it, and I think he's just mocking that mentality.
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Old 05-18-2016, 04:25 AM #7
Allilang Allilang is offline
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Originally Posted by AaronJW View Post
I do "mas" sparring here in Japan too, no idea where the word comes from lol.

Isn't the trainer watching the sparring? I'd ask him to tell your partner what non-contact sparring means.

Or you could explain it to him yourself, and if he says he knows, ask him why he was hitting you.


I sometimes have the same problem actually. I don't mind it though, but if I was tired with an injured hand I would.
Unfortunately, the trainer had left early yesterday, just before telling us to spar. Usually if someone starts going to far, he will speak up, but usually its the beginners that need to be reminded to take it down a notch.

I started wearing my headgear during non-contact sparring sessions because I've gotten a bloody nose from a stray hit. I have a suspicion that they think headgear means its okay to go all out.
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Old 05-18-2016, 04:27 AM #8
Allilang Allilang is offline
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Originally Posted by Redd Foxx View Post
I've been through this a lot, particularly in jiu jitsu where you have to trust your partner not to dislocate your arm and such. There's always some insecure or inconsiderate pricks who don't get it and refuse to exhibit control. Don't be afraid to just tell them "no thanks" and if a coach asks, just say the individual is too aggressive. The strong ones in the gym are not the ones who refuse to take it down a notch, the strong ones are the ones who can make accommodations for someone without having their egos get involved.
I think a big ego is one of the reasons a lot of us fight.
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Old 05-18-2016, 10:39 AM #9
BuakawBanchamek BuakawBanchamek is offline
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Originally Posted by Redd Foxx View Post
He's just playing. He's actually a really good member, don't take it the wrong way. There's idiots here who will say something like that and actually mean it, and I think he's just mocking that mentality.
Or he thinks that she is trolling.

I dont think so tho.
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Old 05-18-2016, 12:17 PM #10
Ray Corso Ray Corso is offline
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Your spar mates need to respect who is giving them work! It makes no difference if its the Champion of the World or the least talented person in the gym!
Anyone who takes advantage of someone in a spar session is either to dumb to know better or a punk!

If you can talk to him about the lost respect fine.......if he doesn't accept your offering move on without him.

A trainer who leaves people he's in charge of isn't much of a trainer when the participants are novice boxers.

Good luck, be honest with yourself and others then your respect is intact.

Ray
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