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Old 08-26-2016, 03:42 AM #1
▀ringer ▀ringer is offline
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Default Had to whip out my d*ck today to stop a road rage!!!

So, this is what's going on in the world today. I'm heading home from a birther rally, completely minding my business and I'm sitting at a light. I'm heading straight and I'm sitting beside the turning lane which has like 5 cars in it. The guy in front of me decides that he wants to get into the turning lane but he can't do it until the traffic in that lane turn.

This guy in a big red work truck (it appeared to be a Coca-Cola truck if I had to guess, but that could just be because I'm a fat retard who immediately associates the color red with soda) behind be starts blasting the horn and it is a loud ass horn. So, I look in the rear view to see what the deal is and this guy, who *totally* appeared to be Hispanic, is literally flicking me off with both fingers and cussing me out. I looked in the mirror and pointed in front of my car trying to tell him that I'm stuck until the guy in front of me gets out of my way.

This guy proceeds to start punching his fist into his other palm like a bully from a 90s teen comedy would do to a nerd to intimidate them. Something you could see A.C. Slater doing to Screech Powers to intimidate him in to doing his homework or something. Anyway, I can see his mouth moving too, but I can't hear him. Though if I had to bet he was probably saying offensive things like "I proudly voted for Obama twice!" or "I find it disrespectful to punch women in the mouth!" You know, total beta sh*t.

His behavior was really starting to piss me off even though it had only been about 5 seconds time in total so, instead of acting like a mature adult and ignoring him, I decided to escalate the situation like a real alpha. So I flipped him off and told him to go f*ck himself. Though I made sure my window was rolled up before I said it to make sure he wouldn't hear me.

Well, this dude opens up the door on the truck about half way and leans out the window and continued to punch his fist in to his palm, and I swear I overheard him muttering "I need an A on this calculus exam, dweeb!" under his breath.

I reached out the window and motioned to him that I had a d*ck in my pants, as a forewarning. I don't know why I used the word forewarning there when I could've just as easily used the word warning. But I want to assure you that I work in the engineering department of a dildo manufacturing plant, so you know I'm smart as f*ck and I'm not just trying to sound intelligent here.

Anyway, he opens the door of his truck all the way and steps out onto the step and starts cussing like no one's business. I mean, this dude is going off spouting all kinds of crazy sh*t right in broad daylight. Things like "black people aren't inherently less valuable than white people" and "Alex Jones is in it for the money" - Real disrespectful sh*t, you know?

So I reached down, unzipped my pants, and pulled my schlong through the piss flap and plopped it on to my thigh to let him know that I'm not playing around and that he has been warned.

After laying eyes on my totally not small c*ck, he hops back up into the truck and shuts the door as I begin to move through the intersection. After I went through the intersection, he remained stationary for about 5 or 6 seconds to allow space between he and myself.

Now, what I did not mention is that I have a "Chemtrails did 9/11" sticker on my car right next to my NRA bumper sticker and I did absolutely nothing to provoke him and this is the reason why I mentioned that he was Hispanic. All I know is there is a lot of footage of gullible sheeple who believe everything the media says freely attacking 9/11 truthers with physical and verbal violence and getting away with it.

I can't say for sure that the guy was a CIA agent who was pissed off at my bumper sticker for exposing the truth or not, but what I do know with certainty is that it's all Hillary Clinton's fault.

I swear, thanks to that f*cking b*tch this country is on the verge of a race war. It's not that I secretly fantasize about having a race war every day of my life at the dildo factory to give it purpose or anything. It's not my fault for wanting to shoot liberals dead in the streets for saying things that hurt my feelings. It's their fault for saying things like that in the first place. They're the mentally deficient ones, not me!

Anyway, I just thought I'd share this with you guys.

Seriously though. Buy guns and don't drink the fluoride water. There's totally a race war coming. I hope.
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Old 08-26-2016, 03:51 AM #2
El Malo. El Malo. is offline
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Old 08-26-2016, 04:00 AM #3
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Old 08-26-2016, 04:06 AM #4
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once the can o' worms is opened.....
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Old 08-26-2016, 07:34 AM #5
engleby engleby is offline
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But I want to assure you that I work in the engineering department of a dildo manufacturing plant, so you know I'm smart as f*ck and I'm not just trying to sound intelligent here.. lmfao brilliant
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Old 08-26-2016, 07:39 AM #6
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What's that? Do I sense a proper showdown between mathed and ▀ringer in the near future?

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Old 08-26-2016, 07:40 AM #7
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Old 08-26-2016, 07:53 AM #8
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Couldn't be bothered to read but mathed is a truly moronic basket case
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Old 08-26-2016, 07:55 AM #9
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Old 08-26-2016, 08:04 AM #10
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lmao this is the same moron who said "We're not animals, we're mammals"
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