Child support is a stupid ass law

[Bossy]

You probably nagged him to death and he left you. There's definitely something you're leaving out.

I don't nag, I run a tight ship. Things need to be done and they won't just happen. I shouldn't have to say 'our kids need clothes' because common sense would suggest that kids grow so clothes would be needed.

If someone just does what they are supposed to do, then they wouldn't need to be told anything. Fact.

I get the feeling you'll be supporting more kids in a few years, alone as well ... and in a trailer park.

As I said, there is a reason my youngest is nearing 7.

you have a point. its the amount tho like for me i pay child support when my woman walked out on me. Its like paying a mortgage for me i really dont think its fair. i think man shouold pay but let it be more equal between parents

I guess they look at income and decide it that way. I really don't know much about how child support laws work.

why do you do all this if you don't get money from the father? he's laughing all the way to the bank.he gets to see his kids & doesn't do a thing to earn the right. i'm confused...none of my business but you must be still going for booty calls from him if you let him off the hook so easily. i understand it's better to have both parents in the childrens lives but what message does that send? you let a deadbeat neglect his resposibilities to his own children & yet you have no troubles paying the bills youself & let him see the kids...makes no sense to me

Because my kids are older, they aren't babies. They love their dad. So when they tell me mummy, I want to go to my dad's house, should I say to them, no because daddy doesn't wanna give me money? The only people who would suffer is them.

As long as they want to see their dad and have a relationship with him, I will never stop them or stand in their way. I want what's best for my kids. There is no point confusing them or putting two kids in the middle of an adult argument.

No, I'm not still going for booty calls. Leave it to a man to think all things in life revolve around the genitals. I'm not 'letting him off easy', I'm just not punishing my kids for his bad behaviour.

Do you think I tell my kids that he doesn't pay? Of course not, so there is no message being delivered to them. Only a scumbag of a human being would announce that **** to their kid. I don't do things for my kids because I want praise, I do it, because it needs to be done. I don't have to sit and think about it, I do it.

Who is going to pay my bills if I don't? Should I just say, fuk it he's not paying so I'm not either? The world doesn't work that way and my kids having a healthy childhood outweighs whatever money he would be giving me.

how is he a good dad when he neglects supporting them? i don't understand this...i won't try & figure this one out....lol!

Because he does love them, he spends time with them and does things with them. He doesn't give me money, because he thinks that would be making 'my life too easy'. He's an idiot, but he loves his kids.

You have a point and you're not confused. I think a lot of people male or female would agree with your post 100%. I've asked her practically the same thing, but if that's what she's comfortable with how her scenario is then let her travel that road on her own. At the end of the day, it's her decision, not ours.

You know the details of things more than other posters. So I really don't know why you would even speak on things.

So should I be one of those mothers who hold their children hostage to get money?

You yourself said in this thread you don't directly pay child support yet you criticise me for allowing my kids to see their father who does ... the same thing you do?

My kids deserve to be happy, deserve to know their mother and their father and that's what I'm doing.

Despite popular belief, I didn't get knocked up to make a living. I'm by no means wealthy, but I will work my ass off to take care of mine.

[rayb112]

I really want to punch you. In mean this in the most loving way.

I work and pay for my two children completely on my own because I have kids with someone who thinks he shouldn't have to help me raise them. I take my children to him every weekend, I send clothes, toys, blankets, soap, toothpaste everything my children could possibly need.

But why should I have to? I didn't fuk myself. I didn't make them alone why should I have to support them alone.

I agree with 100...But on the flip side I have 1 child who I buy clothes for, feed, take to the movies and spend as much time as I can with her. My baby momma jumps from boyfriend to boyfriend like i change my shorts...cries she broke but goes out of town every weekend...I still have to pay support just because she with her 10 more days a month and I'm not talking a few bucks either!

[Bossy]

I agree with 100...But on the flip side I have 1 child who I buy clothes for, feed, take to the movies and spend as much time as I can with her. My baby momma jumps from boyfriend to boyfriend like i change my shorts...cries she broke but goes out of town every weekend...I still have to pay support just because she with her 10 more days a month and I'm not talking a few bucks either!

See that's not cool. I understand your frustration with that and hopefully one day she will grow out of that behaviour. You sound like you are doing the right thing and your child will know that regardless of what her mother is doing in her life. Kids are perceptive little creatures and your child knows that her daddy loves her.

As I said early, I'm not a baby momma. I don't care what he does in his personal and private time, I don't care who he is or isn't sleeping with, I don't call him to ask about his personal life. It's strictly about our kids. I don't need a court to tell me when he should or shouldn't see them, I just bring them to him.

We have a decent co-parenting relationship and he does buy his kids toys.

I'm not saying this applies to you at all, but most men don't seem to understand that if a woman applies child support money to rent, bills, car payments that she is indeed using it what it is intended for. To provide that child with a home, lights and transportation.

[rayb112]

See that's not cool. I understand your frustration with that and hopefully one day she will grow out of that behaviour. You sound like you are doing the right thing and your child will know that regardless of what her mother is doing in her life. Kids are perceptive little creatures and your child knows that her daddy loves her.

As I said early, I'm not a baby momma. I don't care what he does in his personal and private time, I don't care who he is or isn't sleeping with, I don't call him to ask about his personal life. It's strictly about our kids. I don't need a court to tell me when he should or shouldn't see them, I just bring them to him.

We have a decent co-parenting relationship and he does buy his kids toys.

I'm not saying this applies to you at all, but most men don't seem to understand that if a woman applies child support money to rent, bills, car payments that she is indeed using it what it is intended for. To provide that child with a home, lights and transportation.

Well your 1 of the few! I should of had a baby by you...hahaha...just jokes! I do care who my child's mother has around her...It only takes 1 incident to change a childs life! As far what she spends the money on, I really know...I would like to believe it was for bills but I know other wise...It is what is!

[Bossy]

Well your 1 of the few! I should of had a baby by you...hahaha...just jokes! I do care who my child's mother has around her...It only takes 1 incident to change a childs life! As far what she spends the money on, I really know...I would like to believe it was for bills but I know other wise...It is what is!

My kids' father says that 'I care who's around my kids' thing too. It drives me mental. I love my kids, I would die for my kids, why would I put anyone around them who would hurt them? I have friends I have known since kindergarten who have never met my children because I don't agree with certain aspects of their lifestyle.

I have had one boyfriend since my children's father and I split up 6 years ago. 1 man has met my kids, I don't have a revolving door on my apartment, it sickens me when chicks do that ****. So I get very annoyed when he acts like I need to be monitored as to whom I allow in my house, that I pay for.

[joe strong]

I don't nag, I run a tight ship. Things need to be done and they won't just happen. I shouldn't have to say 'our kids need clothes' because common sense would suggest that kids grow so clothes would be needed.

If someone just does what they are supposed to do, then they wouldn't need to be told anything. Fact.



As I said, there is a reason my youngest is nearing 7.



I guess they look at income and decide it that way. I really don't know much about how child support laws work.




Because my kids are older, they aren't babies. They love their dad. So when they tell me mummy, I want to go to my dad's house, should I say to them, no because daddy doesn't wanna give me money? The only people who would suffer is them.

As long as they want to see their dad and have a relationship with him, I will never stop them or stand in their way. I want what's best for my kids. There is no point confusing them or putting two kids in the middle of an adult argument.

No, I'm not still going for booty calls. Leave it to a man to think all things in life revolve around the genitals. I'm not 'letting him off easy', I'm just not punishing my kids for his bad behaviour.

Do you think I tell my kids that he doesn't pay? Of course not, so there is no message being delivered to them. Only a scumbag of a human being would announce that **** to their kid. I don't do things for my kids because I want praise, I do it, because it needs to be done. I don't have to sit and think about it, I do it.

Who is going to pay my bills if I don't? Should I just say, fuk it he's not paying so I'm not either? The world doesn't work that way and my kids having a healthy childhood outweighs whatever money he would be giving me.




Because he does love them, he spends time with them and does things with them. He doesn't give me money, because he thinks that would be making 'my life too easy'. He's an idiot, but he loves his kids.



You know the details of things more than other posters. So I really don't know why you would even speak on things.

So should I be one of those mothers who hold their children hostage to get money?

You yourself said in this thread you don't directly pay child support yet you criticise me for allowing my kids to see their father who does ... the same thing you do?

My kids deserve to be happy, deserve to know their mother and their father and that's what I'm doing.

Despite popular belief, I didn't get knocked up to make a living. I'm by no means wealthy, but I will work my ass off to take care of mine.

you obviously are a great mother & look after your kids & you make good points about not hurting your children by not allowing them to see their father. it's just dissappointing to hear that you get no support. you are the first person i've heard of in many years who would do this. most of the people i know in your situation who are no longer in the relationship with their ex & have not been getting child support wouldn't be so accommadating. the booty call comment was stupid but to hear what you do is very rare in this day & age. i'm still a little confused about "he loves his children comment" though. if he truly loves his kids don't you think he would do everything in his power to give you money to make sure they had the best life possible? does he have a job or is he a deadbeat failure who can't stay employed longer then a week or 2? every person i know with kids who is divorced or seperated make damn sure they provide for their children except for a couple of clowns at work & 1 woman with a drug problem. the parent with custody doesn't want them anywhere near the kids until they get their crap together.

[Bossy]

you obviously are a great mother & look after your kids & you make good points about not hurting your children by not allowing them to see their father. it's just dissappointing to hear that you get no support. you are the first person i've heard of in many years who would do this. most of the people i know in your situation who are no longer in the relationship with their ex & have not been getting child support wouldn't be so accommadating. the booty call comment was stupid but to hear what you do is very rare in this day & age. i'm still a little confused about "he loves his children comment" though. if he truly loves his kids don't you think he would do everything in his power to give you money to make sure they had the best life possible? does he have a job or is he a deadbeat failure who can't stay employed longer then a week or 2? every person i know with kids who is divorced or seperated make damn sure they provide for their children except for a couple of clowns at work & 1 woman with a drug problem. the parent with custody doesn't want them anywhere near the kids until they get their crap together.

I think if I was truly struggling and broke he would give me money. He doesn't see the point when I have my own money. I explain to him that yes, I make money, yes, I'm not broke but paying rent, food, utilities, clothes, toys, doing things with the kids and sports costs a lot and by the time my pay cheque is here; it's gone.

To me them having that influence of having their dad around is more important than the money. My kids are smart too, if they want something and I tell them straight up not now, mummy is paying bills or whatever they will tell their dad 'mummy just paid bills, we want this, you should buy it for us' and he'll do it, because he knows they aren't dumb.

I don't equate love with money. There are many men paying for kids that couldn't care less about that child. The personal relationship they have with their father is what is most important.

[joe strong]

I think if I was truly struggling and broke he would give me money. He doesn't see the point when I have my own money. I explain to him that yes, I make money, yes, I'm not broke but paying rent, food, utilities, clothes, toys, doing things with the kids and sports costs a lot and by the time my pay cheque is here; it's gone.

To me them having that influence of having their dad around is more important than the money. My kids are smart too, if they want something and I tell them straight up not now, mummy is paying bills or whatever they will tell their dad 'mummy just paid bills, we want this, you should buy it for us' and he'll do it, because he knows they aren't dumb.

I don't equate love with money. There are many men paying for kids that couldn't care less about that child. The personal relationship they have with their father is what is most important.

i was under the impression he NEVER gave you a dime but now you say he will give you some help when the kids say we want this & mommy just paid bills. i guess i just don't know the situation. kudos to you on doing a good job with your kids...probably a thread i should not comment on since i'm not a parent.

[Boxingtech718v2]

Ufffffffffff! You're a daddy, how could you even say such a thing?

Ever hear of sarcasm Bossy, a little dry humor never hurt.

[Bossy]

i was under the impression he NEVER gave you a dime but now you say he will give you some help when the kids say we want this & mommy just paid bills. i guess i just don't know the situation. kudos to you on doing a good job with your kids...probably a thread i should not comment on since i'm not a parent.

Everyone is entitled to have an opinion, Joe. I take yours the way I would take it coming from someone who has kids.

He does not pay me child support. He will buy the kids toys and take them out to do things. That's about it. I can occasionally get a few dollars out of him, but I really have to be in the mood for an argument to do so.

It took a long, long time for us to have a functioning, workable co-parenting relationship. It was a lot of fighting and things, but now that we are in a position that we can be around each other and our kids without arguing and nonsense, I wouldn't trade that for all of the money in the world.