[HOLY S**T!] I found that cheating wh*re out haha!

[BetterCallSaul]

Sometimes we post stuff on this forum to gauge opinion even though it's not necessarily the truth. While this is an anonymous account I still value BS as a kind of internet home where there exists a perception of me, so revealing the truth isn't always the best idea.

The truth about my last relationship is this - I didn't cheat on her. I put myself in her position on BS so I could judge what the heat would be like. She was the one doing the dirty on me, I was just too embarrassed to be a guy that was cheated on - never thought it would happen to be honest.

Well, here is the bombshell. I always suspected that she was cheating for at least 10 months of our 18 month relationship (was just a feeling I got like something didn't add up). However I never had any proof until a few months ago when we went on holiday. She logged onto her g-mail account on my phone and forgot to log out. When I went to use the phone to check our hotel bill, I opened the top booking.com email and assumed it was for the hotel we was staying at abroad. Wrong. It was for a hotel in England the night before we left which was strange because I didn't book it. I looked at the other e-mails and realised I was on her account and she forgot to log out.

Anyway I confronted her about it, and she claimed she booked it for her brother and his girlfriend. She sounded convincing but I didn't believe her. I ended it on the plane home. We met a few more times to talk, but I just couldn't trust her any more. I was heartbroken because there was still a part of me that thought she was telling the truth and I was just paranoid. I was torn for months but we kept talking and she said I was just being stupid and should trust her.

I was just coming round to the notion of trusting her again, when I was moving folders from my phone to my laptop to have it repaired. I noticed a couple of txt files that I hadn't even realised I had on my phone, so I opened them to see what they were. Turns out one was a page containing all her emails and logon details for various sites including Facebook. Now after hours upon hours of deliberating what to do, I decided to log onto her Facebook. I know it's morally wrong but I had to know, and I think the evidence I had previously, justified the act.

Simply put, she had been seeing this guy since last August to when we split up and even after. He was also the guy she went to that hotel with. But that's not all, turns out she had a couple of other guys on the go as well.

They all seem to think she is in love with her, and they all knew about me, but none knew about the others, and I didn't know about any lol.

I felt slightly sick, but also relieved that I now know the truth and I can move on without thinking what ifs, and did I make a mistake?

Now the question is lads - I have her Facebook, I know the Facebook's off all her secret guys...how do I wreak revenge? There's something masterful in this haha!

[talip bin osman]

revenge is for the weak minded...

just move on...

[BetterCallSaul]

revenge is for the weak minded...

just move on...

This could biblical though. Plus she could have given me AIDS.

[ßringer]

I've been "that dude" once before albeit in a much more serious relationship (5 years) and I honestly don't get why you would feel embarassed to have been cheated on. Human beings, for the most part, are flaky and deceptive by nature, and being one who would suspend your disbelief of said nature and enter into a committed relationship in spite of knowing that is nothing to be embarassed about. If anything she should be the one to feel embarassed for having been such a deceitful **** to a guy who, from all outwardly appearances, was nothing but kind and forthcoming with her.

I also echo the sentiment of the lounge's resident sage, Talip Bin Osman. Revenge is a petty antic which does nothing but showcase your own lack of emotional maturity. It's natural to feel like you want to lash out or do something to "even the score" after having been so horribly taken advantage of, but actually doing so will only embolden her actions, as it solidifies the affect she's had on your life.

Be the stronger human being, let it go, and be thankful that you found out as soon as you did. Chicks like that are really good at covering their tracks, so who knows how long she'd have been content to string you along until she tired of living a dual existence.

Oh, and throw back a stiff drink to celebrate your newfound freedom.

[BetterCallSaul]

I've been "that dude" once before albeit in a much more serious relationship (5 years) and I honestly don't get why you would feel embarassed to have been cheated on. Human beings, for the most part, are flaky and deceptive by nature, and being one who would suspend your disbelief of said nature and enter into a committed relationship in spite of knowing that is nothing to be embarassed about. If anything she should be the one to feel embarassed for having been such a deceitful **** to a guy who, from all outwardly appearances, was nothing but kind and forthcoming with her.

I also echo the sentiment of the lounge's resident sage, Talip Bin Osman. Revenge is a petty antic which does nothing but showcase your own lack of emotional maturity. It's natural to feel like you want to lash out or do something to "even the score" after having been so horribly taken advantage of, but actually doing so will only embolden her actions, as it solidifies the affect she's had on your life.

Be the stronger human being, let it go, and be thankful that you found out as soon as you did. Chicks like that are really good at covering their tracks, so who knows how long she'd have been content to string you along until she tired of living a dual existence.

Oh, and throw back a stiff drink to celebrate your newfound freedom.

So if no revenge, how do I confront her? I don't feel like she should be able to walk away from this with no repercussions.

[lebrick]

forget her, always think you can bounce after what happens.

knocked down 7X, stand up 8X..

[ßringer]

I don't blame you for being set on confrontation. Confrontation is a necessity for both parties when bridges like these are burned, for the sake of "closure" (though that doesn't actually exist) if nothing else.

How do you confront her about it? However you want. The burden of initiating the confrontation always falls to the victim in these situations, but you have the distinct benefit (and advantage) of having indisputable evidence that she'll not be able to worm her way out of.

THAT will piss her off. Trust me. Girls like these are a dime a dozen and are accustomed to being able to lie their way out of whatever trouble they get themselves in. That won't happen here because of your evidence, and when confronted with it, I'd honestly be shocked if she didn't react in a hostile manner. I've certainly never known one that, when confronted with such evidence, went : "Alright, I'm a reprehensible twat. You got me."

If I were in your shoes (and as I said, I have been once before), I'd confront her directly with the e-mails by printing them out and handing them to her like : "Hey honey, care to explain this?" while grinning from ear to ear as she desperately attempts to conjur up some elaborate bull**** story to explain herself.

As for the revenge, you will have it, trust me. This girl does care about you, that's why she stayed with you during the affair, so after the confrontation if there's any part of her left that cares for you she'll most likely subject herself to all sorts of pathetic embarassment trying to regain your trust, or convince you to give her another chance. The chick of 5 years who cheated on me spent 6 months leaving me pitiable voice mail messages and e-mails, while occasionally showing up at my front door to either sob about it or leave me care packages in the mailbox containing verbose handwritten emotional outpourings and photos of us taken during our time together.

Knowing that she still cares about you but cannot convince you to buy her bull**** will be your revenge. She'll get over it eventually, but if she cares about you at all (and I think she does) the next few weeks will be absolute hell for her.

[lebrick]

So if no revenge, how do I confront her? I don't feel like she should be able to walk away from this with no repercussions.

your silence will torture her and would hurt her more than doing some revenge.

make her feel you don't care about her anymore.

[Haglerwins]

This could biblical though. Plus she could have given me AIDS.

No Mercy. Full Wrath of the Lord on her. You have my permission.

[!! Shawn]

Sometimes we post stuff on this forum to gauge opinion even though it's not necessarily the truth. While this is an anonymous account I still value BS as a kind of internet home where there exists a perception of me, so revealing the truth isn't always the best idea.

The truth about my last relationship is this - I didn't cheat on her. I put myself in her position on BS so I could judge what the heat would be like. She was the one doing the dirty on me, I was just too embarrassed to be a guy that was cheated on - never thought it would happen to be honest.

Well, here is the bombshell. I always suspected that she was cheating for at least 10 months of our 18 month relationship (was just a feeling I got like something didn't add up). However I never had any proof until a few months ago when we went on holiday. She logged onto her g-mail account on my phone and forgot to log out. When I went to use the phone to check our hotel bill, I opened the top booking.com email and assumed it was for the hotel we was staying at abroad. Wrong. It was for a hotel in England the night before we left which was strange because I didn't book it. I looked at the other e-mails and realised I was on her account and she forgot to log out.

Anyway I confronted her about it, and she claimed she booked it for her brother and his girlfriend. She sounded convincing but I didn't believe her. I ended it on the plane home. We met a few more times to talk, but I just couldn't trust her any more. I was heartbroken because there was still a part of me that thought she was telling the truth and I was just paranoid. I was torn for months but we kept talking and she said I was just being stupid and should trust her.

I was just coming round to the notion of trusting her again, when I was moving folders from my phone to my laptop to have it repaired. I noticed a couple of txt files that I hadn't even realised I had on my phone, so I opened them to see what they were. Turns out one was a page containing all her emails and logon details for various sites including Facebook. Now after hours upon hours of deliberating what to do, I decided to log onto her Facebook. I know it's morally wrong but I had to know, and I think the evidence I had previously, justified the act.

Simply put, she had been seeing this guy since last August to when we split up and even after. He was also the guy she went to that hotel with. But that's not all, turns out she had a couple of other guys on the go as well.

They all seem to think she is in love with her, and they all knew about me, but none knew about the others, and I didn't know about any lol.

I felt slightly sick, but also relieved that I now know the truth and I can move on without thinking what ifs, and did I make a mistake?

Now the question is lads - I have her Facebook, I know the Facebook's off all her secret guys...how do I wreak revenge? There's something masterful in this haha!

Damn, just hope you didn't go down on her after one of her flings.