[PLEASE HELP] Does anyone else do mountainous poops after drinking coffee?

[Hype job]

Every morning after two cups of instant coffee I do the most humongous ****s the world has ever seen, literally stacks of poo that look like a miniature mountain.

For the rest of the day my ass itches and feels like its recovering

[Willy Wanker]

When I used to work mornings, I never took a dump at home.

I would wake up and drive to work and I would hold out until I drank a cup of coffee or two. Then I would just destroy that toilet like it owed me money. There wasn't enough water in the bowl to keep the mountain of poop submerged. I courtesy flushed, but still.

Surprised I never clogged the toilet.

[GGG Gloveking]

Its like coffee is a laxative, lol. 30 min to an hour, and...

[Hype job]

When I used to work mornings, I never took a dump at home.

I would wake up and drive to work and I would hold out until I drank a cup of coffee or two. Then I would just destroy that toilet like it owed me money. There wasn't enough water in the bowl to keep the mountain of poop submerged. I courtesy flushed, but still.

Surprised I never clogged the toilet.

[John Barron]

stopped drinking coffee for the same reason. meanwhile my first lady chugs iced coffee down all day but my c*ck still comes out sparkling clean. it's bugged me for years to be honest.

[Eff Pandas]

I don't drink coffee, but when I eat this family size thing of veggies I'll randomly eat sometimes I'll be leaving a impressive heeeaaaaaappppppppp of dookie in the toilet bowl within 12 hours more often then not & for sure within 24 hours. I don't think anything makes me instantly sh^t unless its something thats making me do so in a watery unpleasant squirting fashion after making a bad food choice.

[John Barron]

When I used to work mornings, I never took a dump at home.

I would wake up and drive to work and I would hold out until I drank a cup of coffee or two. Then I would just destroy that toilet like it owed me money. There wasn't enough water in the bowl to keep the mountain of poop submerged. I courtesy flushed, but still.

Surprised I never clogged the toilet.

industrial tier toilets bro. hate to bust your ego but you weren't destroying anything besides your ass. you could feed those things baby hippos for 12 rounds no problem, your **** weren't **** to that toilet.

[-jose-]

Every morning after two cups of instant coffee I do the most humongous ****s the world has ever seen, literally stacks of poo that look like a miniature mountain.

For the rest of the day my ass itches and feels like its recovering

that's ^^^ the reason you shithing like Shaq

instant coffee is crap

[Willy Wanker]

hate to bust your ego but you weren't destroying anything besides your ass.

[HanzGruber]

That's why I don't drink coffee or milk in the morning anymore. Never was big in coffee tho much