Tweet
How do you go about taking a dump in public bathrooms?
I know that a lot of people are timid about droppin' off some fecal matter in public. I myself worked under my father at the airport (he runs the lost luggage delivery service) for a number of years. It's one of the things he gave me that I'm most thankful for, access to easily the greatest shitters on the face of the Earth.
Not even playin', we'd get there at 7AM sharp every morning, all the stalls would be clean and ready to go. I'd naturally pick the handicapped stall and start my day off right. Much like the girl that you aspire to marry one day being able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose, these toilets would literally suck an entire roll of toilet paper down with ease, cardboard tube and all.
See my morning dump was usually desolate, I was all alone to google stuff on my phone, message chicks, beat off, or text my bros about "how big of a shit i'm taking right now lol." But when we came back during the afternoon it was a different story..
At first I must admit I was a bit timid to show the world my full potential. I would walk in the bathroom and be more shocked than when Krillin first sensed Frieza. Businessmen from all around the world, jogging their chunky asses across the tile and into the bathroom, unbuckling their belts and nearly exposing their taint to the world before they even closed the stall door.
One afternoon I was entering a stall when I looked over at a 400lb asian man in a suit. With all of the stalls open, he chose to relieve himself in the one next to me. He nodded and entered the stall, little did I know then, he is who I now refer to as my "sensei." I let out a little pipsqueak toot and nearly had an anxiety attack, I could feel myself starting to cry as I heard..
"Heh.."
You could tell he was smirking as he released what must have been three straight nights of Wasabi beef stew upon our mortal realm. I thought surely that from the noise that he was transforming into Shao Kahn and that my days of running free were over..
So now whenever I enter a public bathroom, I establish dominance upon all the other beta males inside of it by aiming to destroy the throne I sit upon.
What about you?
Not even playin', we'd get there at 7AM sharp every morning, all the stalls would be clean and ready to go. I'd naturally pick the handicapped stall and start my day off right. Much like the girl that you aspire to marry one day being able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose, these toilets would literally suck an entire roll of toilet paper down with ease, cardboard tube and all.
See my morning dump was usually desolate, I was all alone to google stuff on my phone, message chicks, beat off, or text my bros about "how big of a shit i'm taking right now lol." But when we came back during the afternoon it was a different story..
At first I must admit I was a bit timid to show the world my full potential. I would walk in the bathroom and be more shocked than when Krillin first sensed Frieza. Businessmen from all around the world, jogging their chunky asses across the tile and into the bathroom, unbuckling their belts and nearly exposing their taint to the world before they even closed the stall door.
One afternoon I was entering a stall when I looked over at a 400lb asian man in a suit. With all of the stalls open, he chose to relieve himself in the one next to me. He nodded and entered the stall, little did I know then, he is who I now refer to as my "sensei." I let out a little pipsqueak toot and nearly had an anxiety attack, I could feel myself starting to cry as I heard..
"Heh.."
You could tell he was smirking as he released what must have been three straight nights of Wasabi beef stew upon our mortal realm. I thought surely that from the noise that he was transforming into Shao Kahn and that my days of running free were over..
So now whenever I enter a public bathroom, I establish dominance upon all the other beta males inside of it by aiming to destroy the throne I sit upon.
What about you?
great write up ts.
Comment