China Swimming Ye Shiwen Dopes! Its humanly impossible to beat a men's record

[No1]

no doubt she's doped out of her mind...women are not strong enough to beat a man's record...it wouldn't surprise me if evil Chinese scientist made steroids that were undetectable to Olympic style drug testing...

WHy are all the yanks so butthurt they are getting beaten big time by China? YOu have had your time now step aside and just accept China has taken your place as the most dominant team in the Olympics

[Money_May]

It's been confirmed that she has passed all of her tests and she is just that good. Source is BBC News.

The US are getting hammered left right and centre for this episode of 'sour grapes'

[dj Calleti]

[LeG00N]

yanks are getting humiliated

[squealpiggy]

Chinese swimmer's flippers and blowhole suspicious, says top official

SOME Olympians may be heavily-disguised animals, it has been claimed.

The 16-year-old Chinese swimmer Ye Shiwen, who smashed records in the 400 metres medley, was last seen heading out to sea at speeds of over 80 knots with her coach on her back.

Olympic official Roy Hobbs said: “We’d hesitate to accuse a young girl of cheating when she’s achieved something so special, but we do need to take a look at her blowhole at some point.

“A younger swimmer can often improve dramatically over a short period of time without recourse to mindbendingly strong steroids but even the strongest attack of puberty doesn’t usually cause somebody to start communicating via a series of clicks and squeaks.

“I’m not being cruel about her looks, she’s far prettier than Frankie Boyle. But when a search of the changing rooms reveals a bucket of sprats and a zip-up rubber costume with a human face, something has to be done.”

Recent advances in prosthetics have made it easier to disguise non-human athletes. Earlier in the week Australian cyclist Tom Logan was revealed to be a wallaby following a crash.

Logan’s team mate Stephen Malley said: “When Tom hit the ground his face, which had always had strange angles and a rubbery sheen, split open to revel a broad hairy muzzle. However I wasn’t that surprised – absurdly large thigh muscles are par for the cycling course, but hopping and trying to mate with labradors less so.”

Meanwhile, Hobbs has urged Ye Shiwen to return to the Olympic village, saying: “There have been some shady-looking military types asking about her whereabouts. Somebody saw them in a conference room drawing sketches on a flipchart of a stick figure with flippers and a warhead strapped to its skull.”

The practice of entering animals into human events was first recorded at the 1936 Berlin Olympics, when a starting pistol caused British 200 metre runner Tom Booker to leap on his nearest competitor and start biting the man’s neck.

After closer examination, Booker was revealed to be a cougar with a stick-on moustache.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...-2012073136323

[-Lowkey-]

The American coach who made the accusations should face disciplinary action a classic case of pot calling the kettle black considering how many American athlete's have failed drug tests in the past.

Some people just can't be dignified in deafeat it's not a good look.

[maverickuk2]

who has those pictures that are like - the but hurt is strong with this one. those are so funny LOL.

[BooHoo]

Uncle Phelps:

"People don't know **** about swimming"

[DeadLikeMe]

Half of China's gold medals have come from BB guns and synchronized diving...half of them...America getting owned at such prominent sports

[pnksntdead]

a-side meth for sure!