The Everything Chuck Norris Thread

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When Chuck Norris does push ups... He's not pushing his body up, he's actually pushing the earth down.

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Chuck Norris takes steroids, but only so his balls will fit in his pants.


When international spies are given a "License to kill", they are simply handed a picture of Chuck Norris.


Some kids piss their name in the snow..... as a kid Chuck Norris pissed his name into concrete.


Giraffes were created after Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.


All eleven secret herbs and spices used in KFC can be found naturally in Chuck Norris's beard.


Chuck Norris once got a girl pregnant after phone sex.


Jaws made his last cinematic appearance in 1987, coincidentally, Chuck Norris developed a liking for sushi in 1987.