What's the least painful way to commit suicide?

[Drunken Cat]

Drowning has to be one of the worst ways to go, IMO.

I was really sick months back and ended up in the hospital with an abscess in my right lung. The abscess began to leak and filled over 60% of my right lung with fluid. To rectify this, I underwent a procedure whose name I really wish I could recall right now, but can't.

Basically what they did was wheel me into an operating room and strapped me down with restraints on my arms and legs, and across my stomach and chest. From there they had me snort a small bottle of lubricant up each nostril. Then they stuck a plastic tube up my nose and ran it down the back of my throat and into my right lung.

Once there they activated the machine the tube was hooked to and began pressure washing the walls of my right lung with a saltwater and saline mixture for several minutes.

It felt like drowning and choking at the same time only I was getting oxygen in my unaffected left lung, so there was no way I could die. But I quickly realized what the restraints were for, as I was trying desperately to sit up and break free from that ****ing torture device. I was coughing, gagging, swallowing water, and choking on lubricant all at the same time. My eyes watered, my chest hurt, and I could feel the water filling my lung.

It was basically a more ****ed up version of waterboarding. Definitely not something I'd ever want to experience again.

Christ man, that is awful. Hope you duly recovered though.

[ßringer]

All good now, but it was truly the worst feeling I've ever experienced in my entire life.

Incidentally , it changed my entire perspective on the issue of waterboarding. I'll freely admit that previously, I didn't really give much of a **** about it. "Who cares?" or "Better them than me...." would sum up my previous stance rather succinctly.

That changes pretty quickly when you're the one that's strapped down.

Granted the procedures differ quite a bit in application, but the end result of simulating drowning is the same.

[Drunken Cat]

All good now, but it was truly the worst feeling I've ever experienced in my entire life.

Incidentally , it changed my entire perspective on the issue of waterboarding. I'll freely admit that previously, I didn't really give much of a **** about it. "Who cares?" or "Better them than me...." would sum up my previous stance rather succinctly.

That changes pretty quickly when you're the one that's strapped down.

Granted the procedures differ quite a bit in application, but the end result of simulating drowning is the same.

Controlled drowning is a more apt term. 'Simulated drowning' is a euphemism. As you attest, it is drowning. It isn't as though they are playing a video game like a flight simulator.

[ßringer]

Fair enough.

It's definitely torture by definition.

[Drunken Cat]

Fair enough.

It's definitely torture by definition.

Wasn't knocking you or anything. There are so many phrases like this though. I also didn't invent the 'controlled drowning' re-characterization, but it is proper I think.

[ßringer]

Admittedly, I probably picked it up by default from watching too much CNN back in the Bush Administration days.

[New England]

Drowning has to be one of the worst ways to go, IMO.

I was really sick months back and ended up in the hospital with an abscess in my right lung. The abscess began to leak and filled over 60% of my right lung with fluid. To rectify this, I underwent a procedure whose name I really wish I could recall right now, but can't.

Basically what they did was wheel me into an operating room and strapped me down with restraints on my arms and legs, and across my stomach and chest. From there they had me snort a small bottle of lubricant up each nostril. Then they stuck a plastic tube up my nose and ran it down the back of my throat and into my right lung.

Once there they activated the machine the tube was hooked to and began pressure washing the walls of my right lung with a saltwater and saline mixture for several minutes.

It felt like drowning and choking at the same time only I was getting oxygen in my unaffected left lung, so there was no way I could die. But I quickly realized what the restraints were for, as I was trying desperately to sit up and break free from that ****ing torture device. I was coughing, gagging, swallowing water, and choking on lubricant all at the same time. My eyes watered, my chest hurt, and I could feel the water filling my lung.

It was basically a more ****ed up version of waterboarding. Definitely not something I'd ever want to experience again.

damn, bringer. you really know how to party.
sign me up for one of those


were there at least some nurses in the 7-9 range for you to sweet talk?


and how would you characterize the stuff that came out of your long?
was it like puss or mucus?

either way, yuck. i'm glad you lived.

[A.K.A]

Snorting too much blow out of a strippers ass crack. We should all be so lucky.

[ßringer]

damn, bringer. you really know how to party.
sign me up for one of those


were there at least some nurses in the 7-9 range for you to sweet talk?


and how would you characterize the stuff that came out of your long?
was it like puss or mucus?

either way, yuck.

I definitely got lucky on the nursing front. They put me in ICU because my heart rate was spiking to over 180 bpm anytime I stood up and exerted some energy. Apparently ICU is where they keep all the fine nurses, because every chick that came into my room was at least a 7.

My x-ray tech was easily the hottest : 23 years old, C or D cup rack, and an ass that I could spend days eating. To top it off she seemed to really like me, not sure if it was because we talked a lot, or because she naturally had a thing for sick dudes, but I wasn't complaining when she woke me up every morning to take an x-ray of my chest.

It seemed kinda weak to me that they'd keep all the hot nurses in ICU where most of the patients are comatose, though. That's a waste of fine spank bank material.

As for the fluid in my lung : After they presure washed the lung and drained it of all the fluid, the liquid was mostly clear, probably because of all the saltwater and saline they pumped in there.

But after that I had to have another procedure called a 'thoracentesis', which I remember the name of because of how goddamn painful it was. Basically they put me in a CT scan room and used the CT scanner to draw up a digital map of my lung to identify the exact location of the abscess.

After that the doctor marked the spot on my back and skewered it slowly with what appeared to be a meat skewer you'd use for grilling kebabs. Went in between two ribs, guided it through the muscle, pierced through my lung, and punctured the abscess. After that they installed a chest tube that I wore for the next week while it drained out, and the fluid that came out of that was mostly a thick green pus for the first 4 days, after it drained the bulk of it the fluid tapered off into a watery yellow fluid that looked exactly like piss.

[horge]

My x-ray tech was easily the hottest : 23 years old, C or D cup rack, and an ass that I could spend days eating. To top it off she seemed to really like me, not sure if it was because we talked a lot, or because she naturally had a thing for sick dudes, but I wasn't complaining when she woke me up every morning to take an x-ray of my chest.

Couldn't have been a quasi-dyke, getting off on your moobs?