Things you do in private that you wouldn't do in public

[-jose-]

Pick my nose, roll it and flick it across the room.

Scratch my balls freely.

It rarely ever happens, but every now and then you get one of those ball itches in public you just gotta do something about. My strategy for that situation is to either slink out of sight briefly or wait for a diversion to avert everybody's attention so I can stealthily slip my right hand into my pants pocket and give 'er a quick scratch.

Don't act like you've never done it before.

Cut your toenails and floss your teeth right after.

[[ DUBBZZ ]]

Pass gas, walk around in underwear

Whaat?!

Ain't nothing better than crop dusting while walking through a large crowd.

Then turning around and seeing the disgust and mass confusion you've caused as people look around trying to figure out who done it.

[-jose-]

Whaat?!

Ain't nothing better than crop dusting while walking through a large crowd.

Then turning around and seeing the disgust and mass confusion you've caused as people look around trying to figure out who done it.

going up the stairs and firing chemical weapons at the person behind me puts a smile on my face.

[SirTomJones]

Speak in Simpsons quotes, which my Brother and I do.

Whilst eating mac n cheese in your underwear?

[extracurRICular]

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Drink a b*tch drink...........you nasty bastards thought something else huh??? hahahha

[Alonzo Harris]

Murder prostitutes...

although there was that one time in the toilets at Blockbuster but no one goes there anymore so that counts as private, right?

[Jerub_Baal]

Murder prostitutes...

You can never go wrong with pushing them off a cliff....

[RespekonMyName]

Walk around freely after a workout without taking a shower.

[Alonzo Harris]

You can never go wrong with pushing them off a cliff....

I tried that once in Amsterdam but after paying the girl to fellate me I remembered there were no cliffs in Amsterdam... that's 20 euros I'll never get back.

Those crazy Dutch bast*rds!

Worst stag do I've ever been on

[bigsmoothh]

eat ramen noodles, eat a banana........