[REAL TALK] SOX, DUal Hatted, & Chinese walls, need SEC clearance.

[Zaroku]

I just got off the phone with my boss in NY, and London. I was told to take a week or two off, and I lost remote access to BofA Merrill lynch systems.

I need to pass a Certified Sarbanes Oxley SOX IT and sensitive financial data exam and I was told to brush up, because it got harder over the past 6 years.

I was dual hatted 6 years ago, and I could cross from equities trading, to investment banking. Separated by a Chinese wall, to avoid collusion, illegal trades, etc.

I don’t know **** about financial instruments per se, in spite of being trained 6 years ago. All I do is lead development teams, manage Project that created applications that quants guys, and other equity traders use when they generate money. My boss loves telling me to never bother traders when they are doing their thing, because the generate money, and I’m an expendable expense.

I’ll jack off for two weeks, wait for HR to tell me the SEC gave me the green light, since I have no financial crimes on my record. Then take my exams, and hopefully pass. It was tough for me the first time. Bostonguy could ace this stuff, easy.

I got two weeks off. I wasn’t expecting news like that on a Friday after work. I should have, but didn’t, I’m slipping big time.

[Eddy Current]

Wait so you think you may get laid off? Or just if you can't pass these exams?

[Zaroku]

Wait so you think you may get laid off? Or just if you can't pass these exams?

If I don’t pass, I’m done. I’ll study hard this time. I think I underestimated the SOX exam the first time, it really is a lot of common sense stuff.

Lots of the questions are compliance, if one trader asked you to take a message to an investment banker what do you do.

Answer inform management immediately, and then inform SEC if no action is taken. Problem is, if anyone informed management, they would never work in it finance again. It’s basically a CYA exam. Cover your azz.

I’m being paid now, so it’s cool. My woman is all nervous now.

[Eddy Current]

If I don’t pass, I’m done. I’ll study hard this time. I think I underestimated the SOX exam the first time, it really is a lot of common sense stuff.

Lots of the questions are compliance, if one trader asked you to take a message to an investment banker what do you do.

Answer inform management immediately, and then inform SEC if no action is taken. Problem is, if anyone informed management, they would never work in it finance again. It’s basically a CYA exam. Cover your azz.

Ah gotcha. Best of luck, brother!

[Zaroku]

Ah gotcha. Best of luck, brother!

Thanks! I’m working for vipers, liars, backstabbers. I keep my head down and don’t make waves. It doesn’t hurt that 3 of the top traders in Tokyo and 2 in Hk are my friends.

[Eddy Current]

Thanks! I’m working for vipers, liars, backstabbers. I keep my head down and don’t make waves. It doesn’t hurt that 3 of the top traders in Tokyo and 2 in Hk are my friends.

Yeah it sounds like a pretty cutthroat type of field! I don't think it would he for me.

[Zaroku]

Yeah it sounds like a pretty cutthroat type of field! I don't think it would he for me.

It’s a weird world, because the traders make money and talk **** to their bosses all the time. We keep extra keyboards, monitors, etc on tap, because the top guys smash them and my boys gotta change them out as the traders get a coffee. They get pissed if the mouse gets moved.

They get Bloomberg news and data 15 min before any online traders even know what’s going on.

I can’t buy stock without explicit permission from the SEC, and I have to keep the stock for one or two years? I can’t short stocks or anything like that.

[-MAKAVELLI-]

i hate dealing with SOX...those fools audit us quarterly

[Zaroku]

i hate dealing with SOX...those fools audit us quarterly

Yeah, you know what I mean.. pain in the azz. SOX is growing yearly. I will be the point person for IT compliance, so I’m gonna need the enhanced certification.

Even Japanese banks and insurance companies like AIG japan gotta comply. Thank God I don’t have any financial crimes in my history..