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The worst pick up fail you ever had

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  • The worst pick up fail you ever had

    I just turned 16 so now I can buy this sweet pellet gun from Walmart I had been eyeing. All I got to do is walk up to the counter and get my thing from this blue haired chick.

    Here’s why idiots like me should be locked up.

    I ask for that big gun behind her.

    Cashier asks how old I am. Got to make sure I’m of a certain age and that everything is cool.

    I wink and say “old enough to go to a strip club” and to this day I don’t know why I said this.

    I decide I’m gonna save this situation with some jokes but now I start bombing. Each joke is worse than the last.

    I’m standing there forever because now this Casanova is freezing and can’t remember his PIN number.

    This girl hears like my 15th attempt to put the number in along with my 15th failed joke. She goes “aaaaaand you’re still here.” Girl is heckling me now.

    I’m dying inside for real.

    “Yo, I think this card isn’t gonna work or something. I got to go.” And I walked off.

  • #2
    You should have paid up and then straight pelleted that betch.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Rockybigblower View Post
      You should have paid up and then straight pelleted that betch.
      Let's hear your fail tho.

      You can't leave people hanging like this.

      Comment


      • #4
        Drunk at the pub once...got chased out by a group of lesbos....ended up in another pub. Met a kinda chubby tatted bird. Took her home...felt sick...tried to fake sleep. She didnt care....just stuck her finger in my azz. Woke me up quick smart so i had to **** her. Wasnt happy.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by TheMyspaceDayz View Post
          I just turned 16 so now I can buy this sweet pellet gun from Walmart I had been eyeing. All I got to do is walk up to the counter and get my thing from this blue haired chick.

          Here’s why idiots like me should be locked up.

          I ask for that big gun behind her.

          Cashier asks how old I am. Got to make sure I’m of a certain age and that everything is cool.

          I wink and say “old enough to go to a strip club” and to this day I don’t know why I said this.

          I decide I’m gonna save this situation with some jokes but now I start bombing. Each joke is worse than the last.

          I’m standing there forever because now this Casanova is freezing and can’t remember his PIN number.

          This girl hears like my 15th attempt to put the number in along with my 15th failed joke. She goes “aaaaaand you’re still here.” Girl is heckling me now.

          I’m dying inside for real.

          “Yo, I think this card isn’t gonna work or something. I got to go.” And I walked off.
          In my early 20s, me and my brethren picked up these fine a.ss polish girls at the club. One looks like Lelee Sobieski with better body and her shorter friend looks like Jayden Pontpierre. In the club, the Sobieski look alike told me she doesn't wear underwear, no bras, no panties. She was wearing a tight white pants and a white tube top; She made me feel on her to prove she wasn't lying. Bee had no underwear on and told me that she thinks underwear is a waste of time.

          Anyways, long story short, me and by brethren circled the club but it was kinda dead because it was during a week night (Wednesday). We were from outta town, so we kinda lay low and have our drinks and chilled. When the club was over, the chicks told us they are walking home, because they live close by, so we offered them a ride.

          When we got to their place (Sobieski chick was staying the Pontpierre chick), they told us the mom is up, but we can still chill until she goes back to bed. Me and my brethren were there kicking with them, before you know it, a whole bunch of Somalian black dudes showed up and a couple black chicks. The Pontpierre looking chick started telling me that one of the dude is her boyfriend's best friend and she didn't know they were coming over, as her mom just usually allows her friends to show up anytime they want. Was cheese af, but i played cool.

          She told me they want to go the beach (at this effing time of the morning?!!) and me and friend are welcome to join them. I said hell no, i am heading home (a 45 mins drive). She was begging me to stay and ask me if i want to come back the following night, because she will make sure no one comes to her house. I took her number and said sure, but the moment i got into my car, i erased the number. My friend wanted to go back the next night, but I am the driver, so he never had a choice. Too sketchy for me.... and that home was too open...not risking my life for that.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by megas30 View Post
            In my early 20s, me and my brethren picked up these fine a.ss polish girls at the club. One looks like Lelee Sobieski with better body and her shorter friend looks like Jayden Pontpierre. In the club, the Sobieski look alike told me she doesn't wear underwear, no bras, no panties. She was wearing a tight white pants and a white tube top; She made me feel on her to prove she wasn't lying. Bee had no underwear on and told me that she thinks underwear is a waste of time.

            Anyways, long story short, me and by brethren circled the club but it was kinda dead because it was during a week night (Wednesday). We were from outta town, so we kinda lay low and have our drinks and chilled. When the club was over, the chicks told us they are walking home, because they live close by, so we offered them a ride.

            When we got to their place (Sobieski chick was staying the Pontpierre chick), they told us the mom is up, but we can still chill until she goes back to bed. Me and my brethren were there kicking with them, before you know it, a whole bunch of Somalian black dudes showed up and a couple black chicks. The Pontpierre looking chick started telling me that one of the dude is her boyfriend's best friend and she didn't know they were coming over, as her mom just usually allows her friends to show up anytime they want. Was cheese af, but i played cool.

            She told me they want to go the beach (at this effing time of the morning?!!) and me and friend are welcome to join them. I said hell no, i am heading home (a 45 mins drive). She was begging me to stay and ask me if i want to come back the following night, because she will make sure no one comes to her house. I took her number and said sure, but the moment i got into my car, i erased the number. My friend wanted to go back the next night, but I am the driver, so he never had a choice. Too sketchy for me.... and that home was too open...not risking my life for that.
            Smart move. You probably would have got to the beach only to find out those Somalian dudes had their pirate ship waiting. You most likely would have been kidnapped and held for ransom somewhere outside of Mogadishu.

            Comment


            • #7
              I dont think i have one. Usually its just girls saying no nicely claiming they have a bf. But danm op yours sounds pretty funny lol

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by TheMyspaceDayz View Post
                I just turned 16 so now I can buy this sweet pellet gun from Walmart I had been eyeing. All I got to do is walk up to the counter and get my thing from this blue haired chick.

                Here's why idiots like me should be locked up.

                I ask for that big gun behind her.

                Cashier asks how old I am. Got to make sure I'm of a certain age and that everything is cool.

                I wink and say "old enough to go to a strip club" and to this day I don't know why I said this.

                I decide I'm gonna save this situation with some jokes but now I start bombing. Each joke is worse than the last.

                I'm standing there forever because now this Casanova is freezing and can't remember his PIN number.

                This girl hears like my 15th attempt to put the number in along with my 15th failed joke. She goes "aaaaaand you're still here." Girl is heckling me now.

                I'm dying inside for real.

                "Yo, I think this card isn't gonna work or something. I got to go." And I walked off.
                thats not really a Fail bro u was young as hell and still feeling out your own game and swag. the fact that u even spit at her took balls. its all a learning experience.

                I dont wanna sound ****y but the older u get the easier it is to pull chicks cuz again its all the years of practice, sharpening ya game and own swag.

                I got shot down and dissed like everyone else but its what u learn or flip it on them from that experience.

                For work(pre rona) I'm always traveling for work and what I realize is when you travel you hitting all different cities, flights, hotels, resorts, events you meeting ton of chicks and its easier than trying to spit in your hometown. Like the fact that you out of of town you got a big advantage cuz its like you in a totally different town where no one knows you and you use that to your advantage.

                Its funny your name MyspaceDays I used to F so many dimes on that site! That shat was easy af to smash!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by megas30 View Post
                  In my early 20s, me and my brethren picked up these fine a.ss polish girls at the club. One looks like Lelee Sobieski with better body and her shorter friend looks like Jayden Pontpierre. In the club, the Sobieski look alike told me she doesn't wear underwear, no bras, no panties. She was wearing a tight white pants and a white tube top; She made me feel on her to prove she wasn't lying. Bee had no underwear on and told me that she thinks underwear is a waste of time.

                  Anyways, long story short, me and by brethren circled the club but it was kinda dead because it was during a week night (Wednesday). We were from outta town, so we kinda lay low and have our drinks and chilled. When the club was over, the chicks told us they are walking home, because they live close by, so we offered them a ride.

                  When we got to their place (Sobieski chick was staying the Pontpierre chick), they told us the mom is up, but we can still chill until she goes back to bed. Me and my brethren were there kicking with them, before you know it, a whole bunch of Somalian black dudes showed up and a couple black chicks. The Pontpierre looking chick started telling me that one of the dude is her boyfriend's best friend and she didn't know they were coming over, as her mom just usually allows her friends to show up anytime they want. Was cheese af, but i played cool.

                  She told me they want to go the beach (at this effing time of the morning?!!) and me and friend are welcome to join them. I said hell no, i am heading home (a 45 mins drive). She was begging me to stay and ask me if i want to come back the following night, because she will make sure no one comes to her house. I took her number and said sure, but the moment i got into my car, i erased the number. My friend wanted to go back the next night, but I am the driver, so he never had a choice. Too sketchy for me.... and that home was too open...not risking my life for that.
                  That aint a FAIL fam u was fitting to smash until her homeboys showed up to C0ckblock and u did the right thing deucing out. Whenever I go back to a chicks crib and its clear im not getting at least a HJ I make an excuse and peace the F out. Nothing worse than killing night for nothing.

                  Comment

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