Losing my hunger for fighting...

[Bucktown Beast]

I've been finding after coming back after 4 years of college that I'm just not into boxing as a participant as much as when I was 17. For one thing, I'm a lot more self-conscious about brain damage; the human mind is too precious to waste engaging in boxing as a hobby. Going into it as a lifestyle when you have nothing else is one thing, but I have a lot of potential in so many other fields that boxing is just a dead end street for me when I really think about it.

My motivation for training is just about shot. The 20 minute drive to and from the gym seems longer than ever, and my coach is getting on my nerves. I find that where before if I were sick I'd drag myself to the gym anyways, now I'll find reasons to skip out more and more.

Worst of all, I just don't have the desire to hit a sparring partner, who's never done anything to me personally, in the face with anything approaching malevolence. I find myself throwing light punches, hitting to the body more than anything, and just not having any aggression in there at all. My hesitation when a counter opportunity presents itself usually means I'm the one who gets nailed instead.

To get to the heart of it, I don't think I really want to fight anymore. I'm more into my guitar, and having a good time with my friends. I'm more interested in partying than training, and making strangers laugh gives me more of a thrill than punching someone in the face. I've found my passion for the arts has expanded so much in these past few years, and there isn't lot of room for boxing.

Anyone else notice this in themselves? Seeing their passion for boxing die down? In a way it's sad, but I'm also excited about what's to come.

Not that I'm going to leave the forums, or stop watching the fights, or swear to never step foot in a gym. Nothing so definite and dramatic. I'm just not going to take it so seriously anymore.

I'm actually right with ya man. I started training a few months ago after a year long layoff from shoulder surgery. And the **** just wasn't the same at all for me. Sparred a couple of times, had some good spars, some bad, but overall I just realized I was putting an uneccessary burden on my mind and body. When I leave the gym, if I didn't do as good as I know I couldve then Im hard on myself, I take it WAY too seriously. For something that is supposed to be a "hobby" I stress over it way too much. Being that this is a pride driven sport and Im a particularly pride driven person, that can sometimes prove to counterproductive.

For me boxing isnt like playing basketball, a sport I look forward to doing because its fun. Its a sport that I dig real deep down for and often times FORCE myself to do. Just do it to test myself and my courage, can't punk out, cant be afraid of someone. And this is from someone who has a chronic muscle syndrome that causes my muscles a lot of pain and slow healing time after extreme exertion. The days following a tough sparring match would leave my muscles and joints in excrutiating pain and have me feeling like I got run over by a truck for an entire week or more.

Boxing has caused me a serious eye injury that took months to heal, a slipped disk in my back that left me unable to walk for a week and unable to work out for 2 months, a bruised rib, a dislocated shoulder and a severe head pain that caused me to rush to the ER at 3am cuz it felt like I was having an aneurism.Yet I still subjected myself to that **** over and over and over.

Its all that macho **** I was raised on. I have done it time in and time out and I don't know what else I need to prove. I've won my bouts, took home a heavyweight tournament championship and now I am thinking about moving on. My body and mind are running out of the desire to put up with the stress. The motivation comes and goes.

The only thing is that I truly have a fighting spirit and sometimes I find it hard to walk away from the sport even though I don't particularly like it. Something about it calls me back all the time but I know I need to overcome that.

[triggerhappy]

I to also lost the hunger to fight to. To be a great fighter you have to give up a lot of things in life like paryting, drinking, smokeing and i was not ready to give up these things. You only have one life so you have to enjoy every minute of it.

[RockyMarcianofan00]

Looking at this thread is alittle depressing because of everyone thats lost there drive to fight..

Unfortunately however I'm in the same boat. I started boxing about March of 2005 and when I started I loved it. I loved working out getting stronger and fit and being able to fight. I hate to use this excuse but its what happened. Last April I cut my thumb up bad (non boxing injury) and needed stiches. I couldn't use the thumb for about 2 months and couldn't do much of any physical conditioning.

So for two months I didn't do anything. It was me and my friend that used to go to the gym (he'd had a year of boxing expierence over me) so when I got my stitches out he had said he was taking a vacation from boxing, so I said whats another month. He's been going back on and off and I just really haven't the passion to go back. I mean I'd like to go back because I've gained more weight than I wanted, and I lost muscle because I basically stopped working out.

I'm currently trying to get my **** together (sleeping schdelue, academics, etc) so I can begin working out again. I'm gunna start lifting again, maybe do alittle roadwork in my spare time but I don't know if I'll make it back to the gym. I never really wanted to go to far in boxing, I wanted to have a few fights and go on with my life and go on to my career etc...
Hopefully I'll make it back to the gym eventually but I've lost ambition to do alot of things in my life...

Maybe its winter, then again maybe its not

[Trick]

Honestly, winter blows, it sucks the fun outta everything

But really, I guess I understand why so many people lose their motivation. We box competitivly not really for fitness, but for something else. Whatever that is can be anything, but the reality is, there are better things for fitness. Boxing requires you do be a near perfect athlete, but the injuries are in no way worth it physiologically. Personally though, the older I get (I'm 19) the more into boxing I get. Some get old, some lose the drive to be constantly working out/eating right. I can understand that, and I wouldn't be suprised if 10 years from now I might have "lost it", but for now, for me, that's the farthest thing from possibility.

Others lose the will to mangle someone else... That's understandable. We all use anger in the ring to some extent. When I'm in a fight, be it in the ring, streets, whatever, I'm a different person. At the same time, I've never been out to kill the otherguy, so I've never had to worry about losing the motivation to do so. Now I've never fought a ranked fight (yet), but when I'm in a fight, my goal is to win the fight, not hurt the other guy. A lot of times, you gotta hurt him to win, but that's not the point. I personally see it more as fighting BACK than fighting... ahhhhh this is making no sense at all when I read over it. I'm sure we have our own philosophies. But to those of you losing for will to knock someone out. Ya, that's a part of the game, but remember, well at least I try to remember, I fight so I can win, not so the other guy can lose. It's a competition like any other.

Eventually, we all gotta deal with the injuries and everything, and decide if it's worth the sacrifice. I'm an undergrad now, and I plan on goin' to med school, but still, I find boxing to be worth it for me. Since I was 4, I've considered myself a boxer. We've all got our reasons for boxing, and our influences, but I'd hazard a guess that many of us have had to deal with some tough **** (or at least most boxers have), that have molded us into what we are. Most of us were fighters long before we got into the ring. And I don't mean fighter in the thug sense, but the mental sense. Over the years, I've fallen of the wagon every now in then when it comes to my fitness, boxing ability and so on, but every time I do, it eventually drives me nuts, because boxing's just a part of me now, or I guess always was.

So before you give it up, remember, despite the injuries, the sacrifices and everything, if boxing is what you want to do deep down, like it's a part of you, it will be worse for YOU if you give it up. Maybe better for you brain, your joints, your stomach, your social life, whatever, but if you are a BOXER than not for YOU. In the end, you've just gotta know yourself. If you're really a boxer, in all the meanings that the word implies, then you owe it to yourself to push it to the max of your ability, until you HAVE to stop, not want to.

Well Alright, that's huge and preachy, which isn't how I meant to come off. To all of you losing your motivation, just do some reflecting, if this is for you, you'll know deep down.

Peace,
Trick

btw, achilles, I understand your situation. You seem to know your stuff, so it's tough that you're stoppin' the boxin', but you seem to know your **** well enough to know what's best for you. Good luck with it,

Haha, and DA1CATAS, I accept the challenge, I'll see you in 6 years bro...

[Chipper]

It sucks to see people losing their hunger for fighting!!!

God damn I haven't even been fed yet!!!! I starving over here!!!

[Banderivets]

I'm the same....I just dont feel it anymore.....I got nothing to left to prove...I am fit, I know I can fight, in and out of the ring, I am disciplined but I just cant be bothered.....Its a tough sport that takes a big toll on your body. With my life still ahead of me, I just cant be bothered...

The odd time it just pulls you back to throw a few fists....but nothing on regular basis.

Im like Kid, I'm having more fun just jammin' on my guitar.

[Pork Chop]

Wow, I hope it's just that time of the year, with the bad weather and all- i mean seasonal depression's a proven thing.

I started out in martial arts.
before moving out here to texas i always did boxing with kickboxing. moving out here kinda forced me to just stick with boxing- the kickboxing gym wasn't my cup of tea. boxing's okay but in kickboxing it's a lot easier to displace daily wear & tear between shoulders (from punching) and legs (for kicks). With that much focused trauma it felt like it aged me quick. Sometimes exclusively focusing on punching gets kinda boring.

Last year I moved out here and watched all my hopes and dreams fall apart when that chick played me. For months on end i woke up wanting to kill someone, but couldn't. For a little while, at first, i couldn't even lose my temper- i'd turned it so far inward it leveled me. Part of me broke instead of firing back; which is a good thing coz the other option woulda lead to a whole bunch of dead bodies.

After that stuff went down, i had none of my friends from baltimore to lean on anymore either. i'd come out here to get married and now i was stuck out here wallowing in failure, with no support structure to get me outta my funk. it felt like solitary confinement a lot of times, stuck in my room, nobody to hang out with, didn't know where to go, didn't even know where i wanted to go.

i tried to use boxing as an outlet, but nobody at the gyms here seemed to give a dam about my training. i guess i'm not a natural athlete so none of the trainers really took an interest in me. in fact, i'd say they wanted me more as a trainer than a fighter.

in sparring i would end up being the guy the trainer's fav' fighter would measure himself against; which is like fighting 2 people when you don't have a trainer of your own. Got roughed up a little bit and no longer had the instinct or nerve to fire back. I started realizing that it wasn't in me anymore.

finally, this year i realized that i just wanna lose weight & boxing's just not getting me there. I decided to just walk away from it for a bit and focus on getting my body in the shape i need it. My body composition is what's holding me back in fighting anyway.

getting some stability back in my life, rebuilding a new support structure of friends & loved ones, and maybe even having a steady girl are all higher on my priority list right now than knockin someone out.

there's still some part of me that gets excited at showin off in front of a crowd, still a part of me that takes pain as an excuse to try harder. but i'm going to have to put that stuff on hold for a while until i figure out what i'm doing.

i don't even feel like boxing's given me all that much.
knowing that i could give anybody in any weight class something to think about, hasn't really gotten me that far in life. I've got impaired vision in my left eye and impaired hearing in my left ear, but no wins on my record.

i've sacrificed a lot for a long time and i have nothing to show for it. the sheer pointlessness of the last 5 years is mind-numbing. Over the last 6 months i've been trying to think of what i want to do with my life. Until that path gets laid out, boxing's more of a distraction than working towards what i want.

In boxing terms, I'm ancient, I'll be 30 this year. Maybe I'll get stuff back on track in time to try out for the masters division in amateur. in the meantime i've gotta focus on other stuff that's a bit more socially oriented.

I don't think there's a single sport lonelier than boxing.

[GR@Y SKIEZ]

^^^ good post man, i know how exactly how you feel.

[fraidycat]

I'm kinda there, too. My fight last October was one of the high points of my life. Not even outfighting him; it was the not-pussing-out. Train till I'm ready and step through the ropes, show myself something.

I was driving home from the match when it hit me that many of the things that I've always hated about myself don't apply anymore. More to the point, maybe they never did. I was just scared to test them out; afraid of what I might find out about myself. Afraid I might not be tough, disciplined, determined, & brave enough, and whether or not I could remain decent and compassionate and merciful -- and most of all, composed -- under the heat of combat. I proved all that to myself. I don't know that I'll ever be as high again in my life as I was at that point. I was yelling out my car window, whooping and laughing. Yeah, it was an unjudged skills bout. Yeah, it was 16 oz. gloves. But for a guy like the guy I was a year ago? 200 lbs. of cookie dough who cries when he gets punched? I might as well have climbed Mt. Everest.

I drop into the gym a few times a week, but I take a week or two off here and there. I already got what I signed up for. My job, my family, my other hobbies, are going to come first. They have to. I did what I came to do. I enjoy boxing, but it's not my life. I'm amazed by what I've learned from doing it and I hope that others get the same from it, and I'll probably always keep it around as a hobby and a fitness regime. There's something sacred about the gym to me -- ritual nonlethal combat has been around since the dawn of time; this is something far older and far larger than any of us, and it resonates very deeply in me. Plus, I'm proud of myself every time I spar heavy and can just stay alive and return fire against a guy half my age -- and whom I would've crossed the street to avoid, a year ago.

I'm glad I did it, and I hope I always can. I may or may not fight again.

[DA1CATAS]

.... you guys need something.. I wish I could give it to you...whatever it is that makes me go back to the gym everyday after I've trained till i fall asleep in minutes arriving at home.... Maybe I have an alter ego.. cuz I hate coming home from the gym for the hell I put my body through... then couldn't be more eager on my way back the next day...

Seriously guys... What happened to the warrior mentality? Being better than someone else in a natural battle like environment... Don't even know what else to say... just motivate others.





TRICK

I take what you said seriously **(Haha, and DA1CATAS, I accept the challenge, I'll see you in 6 years bro...)** Thanx...Cuz I'll seriously look forward to it if we manage to stay in contact.Im just gonna ask you to remember the name "Catastrophe" a few years from now...won't take 6 though .... .. 3-4 years to train is a long time....And even thinking theres someone else training for a fight with me thats so far away makes me wanna run extra miles.. Hope it motivates you.