By Michael Marley
Be careful what you wish for, boxing fans.
That cliché rang more true than ever after the desultory heavyweight fight Saturday night in Hamburg between a disciplined and content to be boring Wladimir Klitschko and a never desperate, never balls to the wall David Hayemaker Haye.
At last count, I think Haye was down more times than an overused, wet mop. They say Hayemaker was down 14 times or so...
I digress, but when I was in college, there was a low rent casino which featured a cheap hamburger known far and wide as the “Awful Awful.”
I say this because, from what I'm hearing, Haye-WKlit was no more than that, just awful, awful.
And I bring it up to advise you that Manny Pacquiao-Floyd Mayweather Jr. could be even less entertaining if it ever happens.
Personally, I owe a real debt to Comcast cable in Falmouth, Old Cape Cod, Massachusetts for frying my cable box so I could not even watch the flop in Hamburg.
Worst fight I ever missed completely, according to two acidic but brutally honest New Yorkers named Lou Di Bella and Donald Majeski.
“It really was awful,” an underwhelmed DiBella said. “I had it 9-2-1 in rounds for Klitschko and for Haye to come out and mention that he had a boo boo on his toe, I mean come on.
“Haye talked so much smack but he never showed that he was going in there to take the risk, that he would go in and go down swinging. Frankly, Haye looked like a guy whose mindset was just to go in there and get the payday.”
Majeski was just as critical and suggested the moribund division will never be more entertaining until both Klitschkos, Wladimir and brother Vitali retire from the ring.
“It remains the best fight out there, the Cain vs. Abel brother against brother fight, but the Klitschkos won't do it,” Majeski said.
“Haye, for all his big talk and all his promises, he never really cut loose. But what do you expect given the history of European heavyweights? That is how they fight, safety first and cautionary.
“All the exciting heavyweights were Americans, Mike Tyson, Rocky Marciano, Jack Dempsey...This was was like watching Joe Bugner fight or Karl Mildenberger fight, which means boring. They always say a puncher can win early or late but Haye did nothing when, in the ninth or 10th round, he could've gone after it and tried to win.”
So the big event turned into a great disappointment just like I am convinced Shoulder Roll Mayweather against Pacquiao will be.
So the Klitschkos will never fight each other and some people are sad.
And, if Pacquiao and Mayweather never fight each other, I think we should all be glad.
I mean, unless you like to watch stinkers.