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Weight Loss: How to Get Rid of Excess You


Q: "I'm wondering if you can help me. I'm not fat by any means, but I do need to lose some weight. I've lost weight before but have never been able to keep it off, I just lose it and then gain it back. Do you have any suggestions for how to motivate myself to keep off the weight?"

I guess the first thing I need to say is that I am not a dietician, a nutritional specialist, or a physician. Having given that disclaimer, I can say that I am an expert in helping people get the changes they desire in their life, and getting into the physical shape you want is just one of the changes that are possible.

Now, having said all that, here's a few tips I have found useful with the clients with whom I work:

Number one: never ever again use the phrase "I want to lose weight." The reason for that rather strong suggestion is this: our brain takes the words we use very literally.

This can be a huge block to lasting change.

In the phrase "lose weight" there are at least two problems. First, consider what we have trained ourselves to do when we "lose" something, say for instance our car keys. That's right, we look for them until we find it. Now, in seminars, when I ask the question, "How many of you have lost weight and then found it again?", almost everyone raises their hand.

A much better phrase to use would be "get rid of."

Then we have the word "weight" which the brain also hears as "wait", as in not now. So using the phrase "lose weight" confuses our brain. It's like how comedian Steven Wright confuses his dog named "Stay": "Come here, Stay!", "Come here, Stay!"

A much better, less confusing and more empowering phrase to use would be "I want to get rid of some extra pounds and inches."

I know this may sound like just semantics, but when it comes to lasting change, it's about 50% semantics.

Here's one way I encourage my clients to approach this kind of change: "In how many ways can I get rid of the extra inches I have, keep them off, benefit myself and others, and enjoy the process?"

Keep asking that question, hire the right specialists, and you are well on your way!

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.


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