Bookmark Website  | Free Registration  | The Team
The Lounge  | Champions  | The Wire |  Schedule |  Audio  |  Arcade  |  The Top Ten  |  Historical  |  Email  |  Video

Panic After WLS: Im Succeeding at Weight Loss: Now What?


The fear of success arises in patients when they realize a genuine change is occurring and they are moving forward with their life. To have bariatric surgery is to pursue an allusive dream that is now being realized - many patients have dreamed all of their lives of successfully losing weight. This time the miracle is working and the pounds are melting away. This time there is no familiar failure, no relapse to bad behavior. This time we are eye-to-eye with success. Weight loss surgery guarantees successful weight loss, and increases the odds for long-term successful weight maintenance.

The fear of success is very real because it's about the unknown. We have not succeeded at dieting or weight loss, that's why we are having surgery. It will take us into the unknown. The fear of success is real. It is also futile. Weight loss is going to occur in spite of our greatest fear of succeeding.

The fear of success is an umbrella sheltering many other fears. Some patients say they fear loneliness, that successful weight loss will lead to isolation. Some women fear the empowerment of healthy self esteem will make them unlovable. Others fear success will make them vulnerable to people whose intentions are not genuine. Many women fear that successful weight loss will make them more attractive to others and could jeopardize their intimate relationships.

For every fear there is a weight loss patient whose fear has come true. One trimmed down woman was lonely when her life-long friends "the Fat Pack" isolated her from the group. Another woman, so empowered by her weight loss and healthy self-esteem, became a career ladder climber with a single focus for reaching the top - she became unlovable. Slimmed down single gals report suspicion of their suitors saying, "he would have never loved me when I was fat - his intentions are not genuine." And many other newly svelte women have found themselves divorced and alone. A jealous spouse simply could not manage the male attention his wife was attracting.

Some fears of success are easy to dispel because they will probably never happen, such as the fear of waking up morbidly obese again. But some are real, and some do happen. When a person affects great change, the relationships around them are forced to change. Some friends will always cheer you on, but others are steeped in jealousy and will denigrate you for moving forward. Perhaps a suitor wouldn't have loved you before weight loss, but truthfully, did you love yourself? If not, how could you expect someone else to love you? Some spouses will embrace the new you, others with tremble and run in the wake of fear your change has awakened in them.

I believe the fear of success goes in hand with the social inferiority we felt as morbidly obese people. As we realize successful weight loss we start to think we don't deserve to be thin, healthy and attractive - these are reserved for the beautiful, smart, successful people. If we become these things - healthy, beautiful, thin, attractive, successful - then we are frauds and hypocrites. We are undeserving.

This is self-loathing and destructive behavior. It leads to self-sabotage. Patients report uncontrolled behavior changes such as snacking, eating sugary or high fat foods and not exercising. When a patient falls into the downward spiral of self-loathing and sabotage they show a complete disregard for the four rules. Patients know what they are doing is harmful to them. Many admit feeling unworthy of weight loss success. Some patients have become so destructive they have gained weight and compromised their health.

The saddest part of self-sabotage is that it only hurts ourselves. The best thing about self-sabotage is that when we recognize it we can cease the harmful behavior.

To manage the fear of success first acknowledge that you have the right to succeed and the right to enjoy your success. Nobody stood up to the plate for you and had surgery - it is you who made the sacrifice and paid the price to affect a healthy change in your life. Weight loss surgery will affect the way you conduct yourself every day for the rest of your life. It was not a simple one-shot solution. You pay the price for success with every bite you take, every swallow. The price is very steep - don't ever minimize it. As obese people we are skilled at declining compliments and credit for the things we accomplished, we felt socially inferior for so long. But weight loss surgery is your sacrifice and your accomplishment: you are sole owner. You have a right, and an obligation to yourself, to celebrate the wonderful success it brings.

Next understand that your success is about you, not anyone else. If others exclude you from their "fat pack" it's not because you have succeeded, it's because of how your success makes them feel. It has nothing to do with you. If a spouse is so insecure they would rather you be unhealthy and unattractive then it is their issue, not yours.

Your weight loss is about you - you didn't lose weight to show superiority over others - you lost weight because you had a debilitating illness that could be treated with surgery. The result of that surgery is weight loss. The result of weight loss is a longer, healthier life; and yes, a thinner, attractive beautiful person. While others may see it differently, the fact is, you have lost weight to save your life.

You have succeeded.

You have the right to celebrate your success.

Kaye Bailey is a weight loss surgery success story having maintained her health and goal weight for 5+ years. An award winning journalist, she is the author and webmaster of http://www.livingafterwls.com and http://www.livingafterwls.blogspot.com

Fresh & insightful content is added daily, check in often.

Copyright 2005 Kaye Bailey - All Rights Reserved.


MORE RESOURCES:

Beware of weight-loss shortcuts
Boston Globe
“There's no natural herb that leads to weight loss,” says Pieter Cohen, a physician at Harvard Medical School and the Cambridge Health Alliance in Massachusetts. “And of all dietary supplements, the ones for weight loss seem to cause the most harm, ...



Newly Approved Weight Loss Method Works by Tricking Your Brain
Motley Fool
The FDA's approval limits the treatment to only adults aged 18 or over who weren't able to lose weight through another weight loss program. You can't be just a little overweight, either. Only severely obese individuals with a body mass index of 35 to ...

and more »


The Inquisitr

Detoxing For Weight Loss
The Inquisitr
A popular method of boosting weight loss is the detox cleanse. There are many cleanses on the market that offer prepackaged powders and pills that contain a blend of herbs and fibers to help detoxify the body. Other detox plans consist of fresh juices ...

and more »


Weight Loss Competitors Set Goals
Twin Falls Times-News
Tilley is one of 250 people who signed up for the YMCA's Magic Valley Weight Loss Challenge in early January. Besides losing pounds, participants are competing to see who can drop the most body fat. The grand prize winner gets $10,000; second-place ...



Magic Teafit: Healthy Sip Promotes Energetic Lifestyle and Weight Loss...
GlobeNewswire (press release)
Aside from being a relaxing and refreshing drink, tea has far-reaching health benefits not only do our customers experience sustainable weight loss, but an increased sense of health through actual use, according to Reddy, spokesperson of Magic Teafit, ...

and more »


9NEWS.com

Debunking weight-loss misconceptions
9NEWS.com
These were the only differences between the two weight loss groups. Turns out, neither one did better than the other. 2. Myth: Sex burns a lot of calories. Turns out the average sexual encounter is only six minutes and only burns 21 calories ...

and more »


U.S. News & World Report

5 Ways to Save on Your 2015 Weight-Loss Goals
U.S. News & World Report
The weight loss industry is a vacuum for American money. In 2013, it was valued at $60.5 billion. We want to lose weight – and we need to, with 35 percent of American adults obese and 69 percent overweight, according to the Centers for Disease Control ...

and more »


Kettering Weight Loss Solutions plan ranked one of 'Best Diets of 2015'
WHIO
A program offered by Kettering Weight Loss Solutions and created by HMR Weight Management Services (HMR) has been named the No. 2 Best Weight-Loss Diet in U.S. News & World Reports'Best Diets of 2015. The ranking was based on both short- and ...

and more »


Businesses to compete in weight loss contest
Scottsbluff Star Herald
Do you have a New Year's resolution to fight the “Battle of the Bulge” or to improve your health and wellness? The Scotts Bluff County Health Department, Regional West Community Health and the Star-Herald have come together to host a 2014 Business to ...

and more »


Proven tips from weight-loss winners
The Southern
To the rescue is the National Weight Loss Control Registry (NWCR), a program that tracks the strategies of real people who have lost between 30 and 300 pounds (really) and kept it off for five or more years. Here's what we now know from their experiences:.


Google News


Advertisement



Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us

Copyright 2006 Luminati Inc. All rights reserved.