Bookmark Website  | Free Registration  | The Team
The Lounge  | Champions  | The Wire |  Schedule |  Audio  |  Arcade  |  The Top Ten  |  Historical  |  Email  |  Video

Panic After WLS: Im Succeeding at Weight Loss: Now What?


The fear of success arises in patients when they realize a genuine change is occurring and they are moving forward with their life. To have bariatric surgery is to pursue an allusive dream that is now being realized - many patients have dreamed all of their lives of successfully losing weight. This time the miracle is working and the pounds are melting away. This time there is no familiar failure, no relapse to bad behavior. This time we are eye-to-eye with success. Weight loss surgery guarantees successful weight loss, and increases the odds for long-term successful weight maintenance.

The fear of success is very real because it's about the unknown. We have not succeeded at dieting or weight loss, that's why we are having surgery. It will take us into the unknown. The fear of success is real. It is also futile. Weight loss is going to occur in spite of our greatest fear of succeeding.

The fear of success is an umbrella sheltering many other fears. Some patients say they fear loneliness, that successful weight loss will lead to isolation. Some women fear the empowerment of healthy self esteem will make them unlovable. Others fear success will make them vulnerable to people whose intentions are not genuine. Many women fear that successful weight loss will make them more attractive to others and could jeopardize their intimate relationships.

For every fear there is a weight loss patient whose fear has come true. One trimmed down woman was lonely when her life-long friends "the Fat Pack" isolated her from the group. Another woman, so empowered by her weight loss and healthy self-esteem, became a career ladder climber with a single focus for reaching the top - she became unlovable. Slimmed down single gals report suspicion of their suitors saying, "he would have never loved me when I was fat - his intentions are not genuine." And many other newly svelte women have found themselves divorced and alone. A jealous spouse simply could not manage the male attention his wife was attracting.

Some fears of success are easy to dispel because they will probably never happen, such as the fear of waking up morbidly obese again. But some are real, and some do happen. When a person affects great change, the relationships around them are forced to change. Some friends will always cheer you on, but others are steeped in jealousy and will denigrate you for moving forward. Perhaps a suitor wouldn't have loved you before weight loss, but truthfully, did you love yourself? If not, how could you expect someone else to love you? Some spouses will embrace the new you, others with tremble and run in the wake of fear your change has awakened in them.

I believe the fear of success goes in hand with the social inferiority we felt as morbidly obese people. As we realize successful weight loss we start to think we don't deserve to be thin, healthy and attractive - these are reserved for the beautiful, smart, successful people. If we become these things - healthy, beautiful, thin, attractive, successful - then we are frauds and hypocrites. We are undeserving.

This is self-loathing and destructive behavior. It leads to self-sabotage. Patients report uncontrolled behavior changes such as snacking, eating sugary or high fat foods and not exercising. When a patient falls into the downward spiral of self-loathing and sabotage they show a complete disregard for the four rules. Patients know what they are doing is harmful to them. Many admit feeling unworthy of weight loss success. Some patients have become so destructive they have gained weight and compromised their health.

The saddest part of self-sabotage is that it only hurts ourselves. The best thing about self-sabotage is that when we recognize it we can cease the harmful behavior.

To manage the fear of success first acknowledge that you have the right to succeed and the right to enjoy your success. Nobody stood up to the plate for you and had surgery - it is you who made the sacrifice and paid the price to affect a healthy change in your life. Weight loss surgery will affect the way you conduct yourself every day for the rest of your life. It was not a simple one-shot solution. You pay the price for success with every bite you take, every swallow. The price is very steep - don't ever minimize it. As obese people we are skilled at declining compliments and credit for the things we accomplished, we felt socially inferior for so long. But weight loss surgery is your sacrifice and your accomplishment: you are sole owner. You have a right, and an obligation to yourself, to celebrate the wonderful success it brings.

Next understand that your success is about you, not anyone else. If others exclude you from their "fat pack" it's not because you have succeeded, it's because of how your success makes them feel. It has nothing to do with you. If a spouse is so insecure they would rather you be unhealthy and unattractive then it is their issue, not yours.

Your weight loss is about you - you didn't lose weight to show superiority over others - you lost weight because you had a debilitating illness that could be treated with surgery. The result of that surgery is weight loss. The result of weight loss is a longer, healthier life; and yes, a thinner, attractive beautiful person. While others may see it differently, the fact is, you have lost weight to save your life.

You have succeeded.

You have the right to celebrate your success.

Kaye Bailey is a weight loss surgery success story having maintained her health and goal weight for 5+ years. An award winning journalist, she is the author and webmaster of http://www.livingafterwls.com and http://www.livingafterwls.blogspot.com

Fresh & insightful content is added daily, check in often.

Copyright 2005 Kaye Bailey - All Rights Reserved.


MORE RESOURCES:

Hacker resurrects late atheist Hitchens on Easter to push weight loss drug
Daily Caller
Yair Rosenberg, a writer for Tablet Magazine, deadpanned, “Normally, I'd be skeptical of miracle weight loss claims, but since so many journalists are tweeting about it, it must be true.” An online ad says the supplement has sold out in most major ...



Examiner.com

Kim Kardashian launches low-carb ketogenic Atkins diet for wedding weight loss
Examiner.com
Kardashian has credited the Atkins diet for her jaw-dropping 56-pound weight loss, which she achieved just six months after giving birth to daughter North in June 2013. Kim's weight-loss plan was a low-carb, high-fat ketogenic-style diet known for ...

and more »


breakthrough may lead to weight loss 'holy grail'
Fox News
For the first time, researchers have identified brown fat in a living human – a find that could lead to development of future weight loss treatments. Using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans, researchers from Warwick Medical School, University ...



Weight Loss Drug Acknowledges Struggle
MediaPost Communications
The spot -- which will air on numerous channels including Lifetime, Oxygen and AMC – presents the drug as a targeted approach to weight loss, that, when combined with diet and increased activity, may help some patients lose weight and keep it off.
Drug campaign shows weight management strugglesHealio

all 2 news articles »


Examiner.com

Debbie Gibson's Lyme disease caused extreme weight loss: Slams Botox as toxin
Examiner.com
Singer Debbie Gibson said her recent dramatic weight loss was due to Lyme disease. Gibson said she was diagnosed with Lyme disease last year, and has experienced a lot of pain and discomfort during her long, difficult recovery. Gibson said she suddenly ...
Debbie Gibson Blames Extreme Weight Loss on Terrifying Battle with DiseaseExtra
Debbie Gibson reveals she has Lyme diseaseNew York Daily News
Debbie Gibson has Lyme diseaseUPI.com
TooFab.com -Life & Style Weekly -Wonderwall
all 47 news articles »


UPI.com

Rosie O'Donnell tweets weight-loss pic
UPI.com
LOS ANGELES, April 20 (UPI) -- Rosie O'Donnell has posted before-and-after photos of her nearly 50-pound weight loss, after undergoing vertical gastric sleeve surgery last year. "Almost 50 lbs off - I can see it now," the 52-year-old recently tweeted.
Rosie, Al, and Other Extreme Celebrity Weight Loss StoriesEast Idaho News

all 5 news articles »


'Holy Grail' of weight loss?
WFTV Orlando
There are currently no existing weight loss therapies focusing on brown fat, but one the study's author says if a treatment could be developed, it might be the, "holy grail" of weight loss. Basically, you'd be able to burn bad fat without exercising ...

and more »


ABC News

Rosie O'Donnell is down nearly 50 pounds.
ABC News
... loss in a before-and-after photo of herself posted on Twitter this past Thursday. "Almost 50 lbs off -- I can see it now," the 52-year-old "View" alum wrote. O'Donnell recently revealed that she underwent weight-loss surgery a year after she had a ...
Rosie O'Donnell showcases 50-pound weight loss 9 months after bariatric surgeryExaminer.com
50 Pounds Off! Rosie O'Donnell Reveals Big-Time Weight Lossfox8.com

all 125 news articles »


The Inquisitr

Study: (Active) Gaming, Diet Effective For Weight Loss
The Inquisitr
To perform the study, 75 obese or overweight children were divided into two groups, both of which were enlisted in a weight-loss program. One group just completed the program, while the other were given a gaming console, motion-capture device and two ...



Examiner.com

Dr. Ian Smith's 'Super Shred' diet guarantees 20-pound weight loss in 4 weeks
Examiner.com
In an exclusive interview Thursday, Dr. Smith explained why calorie disruption delivers rapid weight loss, and how his new book, Super Shred: The Big Results Diet, can help you lose 20 pounds in four weeks. "When your body gets the same amount of ...


Google News


Advertisement



Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us

Copyright 2006 Luminati Inc. All rights reserved.