Bookmark Website  | Free Registration  | The Team
The Lounge  | Champions  | The Wire |  Schedule |  Audio  |  Arcade  |  The Top Ten  |  Historical  |  Email  |  Video

Pizza, French Fries, Beer and Other Diet Foods

Now this is the real American Dream! I'm here to let you know that it is totally possible to lose all the fat you want while eating nothing but junk food. The only hitch is that all the fat you want to lose is going to have to be zero!

Here are some tongue-in-cheek (or burger-in-belly) suggestions for how you can turn even the greasiest, sugariest, most overprocessed calorie bomb into lean, mean diet food.

How is this done? Here's a hint: it's all in how you choose to look at the food...

  • Eat donuts instead of solid pastries. You will be saving a tremendous number of calories by eating something with a hole in the middle. You can save upwards of 3 to 5 calories per pastry by doing this. That means if you eat 10 donuts, you've saved yourself almost 50 calories! Besides, everyone knows nuts are good for you...

  • French fries can help prevent heart attacks. It is a fact that French people suffer fewer heart attacks and have lower rates of heart disease. French fries are obviously from France, therefore it naturally follows that French fries can prevent heart disease.

  • Pizza is one of the healthiest foods on the planet. There are many reasons for this:

    • The bleached flour in the crust sucks up all the grease that drips down from the toppings, trapping it so you don't see it while you're eating. If you don't see it when you eat it, it has no calories.

    • It's round (stay with me here). Because square-shaped foods have corners, they contain a lot more calories than round foods. To save even more calories, cut a hole in the center of the pizza (refer back to #1 for full details).

    • The cheese on the pizza is loaded with calcium - even more than the Tums you're going to need after eating the whole thing.

    • You can easily reduce your servings without sacrificing enjoyment. Instead of cutting the pizza into 8 slices, try cutting it into only 4. You've just eaten HALF the number of slices you ate before! Imagine how many calories you'll save by doing that!

    • Vegetables covered in grease are still vegetables. Never mind that all the nutrition has been baked out of them, you're still getting you're recommended daily servings of veggies.

    • There is plenty of fiber in the paper that's stuck to the bottom of the pizza. Don't be afraid of it.

  • Beer is the absolute best beverage you can drink when you're watching your waistline. It helps to put it right out there in front you where you can see it.

  • Look for foods that have air bubbles in them. Examples include chocolate bars, Twinkies (after you suck the cream filling out), soda pop, sponge cake, and cheese puffs. As you know, air has no calories. Look at these foods as the wrapping for a low-calorie, low-fat serving of air.

  • Putting ketchup on anything makes it healthy. Think about it. You're getting your vegetables in a concentrated paste. It's like stepping into the future... today!!

  • Here are a number of delicious, zero-calorie foods you may not be aware of:

    • Anything eaten while standing has zero calories.

    • Anything eaten off somebody else's plate has zero calories.

    • Food sampled for "tasting" purposes during preparation has no calories.

    • Food sneaked from someone after you distract them is also calorie-free.

    • Anything eaten after the expiration date contains no calories.

  • Eating ice cream can actually help you burn an enormous amount of calories. The key to this lies in its temperature.

    Ice cream is very cold. When you eat ice cream, your body must expend energy (a.k.a. calories) to warm it up to your internal body temperature.

    When you work through the scientific formulas for heat conversion, you can see you will end up expending approximately 6,000 calories to heat up a small dish of ice cream to body temperature. Drinking ice cold beer with your ice cream amplifies this effect.

    These diet tips should have you well on your way towards effectively peeling off pounds of unsightly fat.

    Think of me next time you're eating a pizza with french fries and ketchup on top, dunking your donuts in a glass of cold beer, and shoving down Twinkies (with the filling sucked out) mashed into a dish of nice cold ice cream!

    DISCLAIMER: The preceding information is not medical advice and should not be taken as such. If you feel the urge to take any of this "information" seriously, please lie down until the feeling goes away. Thank you.

    About The Author

    Nick Nilsson is Vice President of BetterU, Inc., an online exercise, fitness, and personal training company. Check out his latest eBook "The Best Exercises You've Never Heard Of" at or visit You can contact him at or subscribe to BetterU News, his fitness newsletter at


    University Herald

    Weight Loss May Spare Knee Cartilage, Study F...
    Four years of follow-up showed significant weight loss protected against cartilage degeneration and that larger amounts of weight loss provided more protection, according to the study to be presented Monday at the annual meeting of the Radiological ...
    Weight Loss May Protect KneesUniversity Herald
    UCSF Study Reveals Weight Loss Protects KneesUCSF Department of Radiology & Biomedical Imaging (blog)
    MRI Confirms, Weight Loss Good for KneesDiagnostic Imaging
    Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
    all 48 news articles »

    Huffington Post

    Fun Can Increase Weight Loss!
    Huffington Post
    Because after working with thousands of women for over a decade, I strongly believe that taking time OUT is a CRUCIAL step for long-term weight loss. If you're taking the approach of weight loss having to be all work and no FUN, you will resent the ...

    PEOPLE StyleWatch

    Wendy Williams, 51, Shows Off 50-Lb. Weight Loss in Sexy, Cleavage-Baring Swimsuit
    PEOPLE StyleWatch
    How you doin, Wendy? The TV talk show host hit the beach in Bal Harbour, Florida, this weekend in a ruched black swimsuit that enhanced her famous curves and showed off her impressive weight loss. Wendy Williams swimsuit photo Photopress ...
    Wendy Williams Shows Off 50-Pound Weight Loss in Black Swimsuit β€” See Her ...Us Weekly
    Wendy Williams Debuts Swimsuit-Clad Weight Loss After Admitting To Vegan DietOK! Magazine
    Wendy Williams Becomes a Hot Topic as She Hits the Beach in Skimpy Swimsuit ...E! Online
    Daily Mail -Yahoo Celebrity UK
    all 11 news articles »

    Learning, and controlling, your metabolism rate for weight loss
    When it comes to weight loss, most people are referring to the total energy expenditure (TEE), or the number of calories that you burn on a daily basis. Resting metabolic rate, the calories your body burns at rest, makes up approximately two-thirds of ...

    Weight loss inspiration and success story: What we can learn from Karol Brandt ...
    Karol was quick to point out that she did it with no extreme dieting, no diet pills, and no weight loss surgery. As we talked, I was struck by Karol's force of a personality – she quite literally radiates positive energy. And as I've come to know her ...
    Struggling no

    all 3 news articles »

    Weight Loss Tip #104 β€” Eat every two hours
    Diet is a important part of our life and it is even more important when it comes to weight loss. Even if you are exercise every day for 45 minutes, you will find it difficult to lose weight if you don't eat right. Eating right doesn't simply mean ...


    How to meet your perfect (weight loss) match
    If there's one thing more difficult than dating, it's dieting. Whether you've hit a weight loss plateau, regained previously shed pounds or just want to lose a few, you've decided you're going to (finally) revamp your diet. But now what? Should you go ...
    Diet Doc Patients Lose More Weight in Less Time Because the Company First ...GlobeNewswire (press release)
    If You Exercise to Lose Weight, Read This by Lizzie FuhrPOPSUGAR UK

    all 6 news articles »


    The Fight Before the Fight: weight loss before weigh-ins causes major medical ...
    In the days before stepping into the cage or ring, some fighters are waging war on their own bodies, cutting large amounts of water weight to qualify for the lowest weight class possible, then massively rehydrating for a size advantage. While the ...

    and more »

    EurekAlert (press release)

    Survey finds 90 percent overlook key to weight loss
    EurekAlert (press release)
    A recent national survey of more than a thousand people commissioned by Orlando Health found that 31 percent of Americans think a lack of exercise is the biggest barrier to weight loss, followed by those who say it's what you eat (26%) and the cost of ...

    and more »


    Omaha man wins fitness challenge with 100-pound weight loss
    Eric Scott beat 31,000 people in a national weight-loss challenge, losing 100 pounds. β€œToday I won the 90-day Challenge at Life Time Fitness,” Scott said. The win came with a $10,000 check. Scott was shocked when his trainer, Mitch Brown, told him all ...

    Google News

  • Advertisement

    Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us

    Copyright © LLC. All rights reserved.