Bookmark Website  | Free Registration  | The Team
The Lounge  | Champions  | The Wire |  Schedule |  Audio  |  Arcade  |  The Top Ten  |  Historical  |  Email  |  Video

Pizza, French Fries, Beer and Other Diet Foods


Now this is the real American Dream! I'm here to let you know that it is totally possible to lose all the fat you want while eating nothing but junk food. The only hitch is that all the fat you want to lose is going to have to be zero!

Here are some tongue-in-cheek (or burger-in-belly) suggestions for how you can turn even the greasiest, sugariest, most overprocessed calorie bomb into lean, mean diet food.

How is this done? Here's a hint: it's all in how you choose to look at the food...

  • Eat donuts instead of solid pastries. You will be saving a tremendous number of calories by eating something with a hole in the middle. You can save upwards of 3 to 5 calories per pastry by doing this. That means if you eat 10 donuts, you've saved yourself almost 50 calories! Besides, everyone knows nuts are good for you...

  • French fries can help prevent heart attacks. It is a fact that French people suffer fewer heart attacks and have lower rates of heart disease. French fries are obviously from France, therefore it naturally follows that French fries can prevent heart disease.

  • Pizza is one of the healthiest foods on the planet. There are many reasons for this:

    • The bleached flour in the crust sucks up all the grease that drips down from the toppings, trapping it so you don't see it while you're eating. If you don't see it when you eat it, it has no calories.

    • It's round (stay with me here). Because square-shaped foods have corners, they contain a lot more calories than round foods. To save even more calories, cut a hole in the center of the pizza (refer back to #1 for full details).

    • The cheese on the pizza is loaded with calcium - even more than the Tums you're going to need after eating the whole thing.

    • You can easily reduce your servings without sacrificing enjoyment. Instead of cutting the pizza into 8 slices, try cutting it into only 4. You've just eaten HALF the number of slices you ate before! Imagine how many calories you'll save by doing that!

    • Vegetables covered in grease are still vegetables. Never mind that all the nutrition has been baked out of them, you're still getting you're recommended daily servings of veggies.

    • There is plenty of fiber in the paper that's stuck to the bottom of the pizza. Don't be afraid of it.

  • Beer is the absolute best beverage you can drink when you're watching your waistline. It helps to put it right out there in front you where you can see it.

  • Look for foods that have air bubbles in them. Examples include chocolate bars, Twinkies (after you suck the cream filling out), soda pop, sponge cake, and cheese puffs. As you know, air has no calories. Look at these foods as the wrapping for a low-calorie, low-fat serving of air.

  • Putting ketchup on anything makes it healthy. Think about it. You're getting your vegetables in a concentrated paste. It's like stepping into the future... today!!

  • Here are a number of delicious, zero-calorie foods you may not be aware of:

    • Anything eaten while standing has zero calories.

    • Anything eaten off somebody else's plate has zero calories.

    • Food sampled for "tasting" purposes during preparation has no calories.

    • Food sneaked from someone after you distract them is also calorie-free.

    • Anything eaten after the expiration date contains no calories.

  • Eating ice cream can actually help you burn an enormous amount of calories. The key to this lies in its temperature.

    Ice cream is very cold. When you eat ice cream, your body must expend energy (a.k.a. calories) to warm it up to your internal body temperature.

    When you work through the scientific formulas for heat conversion, you can see you will end up expending approximately 6,000 calories to heat up a small dish of ice cream to body temperature. Drinking ice cold beer with your ice cream amplifies this effect.

    These diet tips should have you well on your way towards effectively peeling off pounds of unsightly fat.

    Think of me next time you're eating a pizza with french fries and ketchup on top, dunking your donuts in a glass of cold beer, and shoving down Twinkies (with the filling sucked out) mashed into a dish of nice cold ice cream!

    DISCLAIMER: The preceding information is not medical advice and should not be taken as such. If you feel the urge to take any of this "information" seriously, please lie down until the feeling goes away. Thank you.

    About The Author

    Nick Nilsson is Vice President of BetterU, Inc., an online exercise, fitness, and personal training company. Check out his latest eBook "The Best Exercises You've Never Heard Of" at http://www.thebestexercises.com or visit http://www.fitstep.com. You can contact him at betteru@fitstep.com or subscribe to BetterU News, his fitness newsletter at betterunews@fitstep.com.


    MORE RESOURCES:

    The Inquisitr

    Soleil Moon Frye: Bathing Suit With Cutouts Suits Soleil's 40-Pound Weight ...
    The Inquisitr
    Soleil Moon Frye feels fit and fabulous in a bathing suit, thanks to her recent 40-pound weight loss. The actress made it clear that she definitely doesn't miss a single ounce of the fat that she shed on her Nutrisystem diet program, for which she is a ...
    Soleil Moon Frye Can't Stop Showing Off Her 40-Pound Weight Loss—See Her ...E! Online
    Soleil Moon Frye Shows Off Dramatic 40 Pound Weight Loss In Sexy BikiniHollywood Life
    Soleil Moon Frye Flaunts Bikini Body: Soleil's 40-Pound Weight Loss DietCelebrity Health & Fitness (blog)
    Us Magazine -Daily Mail -Examiner.com
    all 19 news articles »


    Tech Times

    Can Thunder God Vine Really Help With Weight Loss Or Is It Just Snake Oil?
    Tech Times
    In a study on celastrol – the active ingredient in the thunder god vine – obese mice provided with the chemical experienced significant weight loss. The extract reduced the appetite of the mice to such a degree that some of the test animals lost 45 ...
    'Thunder God' Plant Could Help with Weight LossDiscovery News
    Thunder God Vine Chemical Causes Massive Weight Loss in MiceNewsweek
    Traditional Chinese medicine 'thunder god vine' causes massive weight loss in ...International Business Times UK
    Washington Post
    all 83 news articles »


    Group weight loss, fitness challenges key to success
    Tyler Morning Telegraph
    If you Google “weight loss challenge,” or scroll through Pinterest, you'll come across dozens of programs designed to pump you up for what seems to be our most elusive task. With warmer weather, a lot of us may be scrambling to find the right program ...



    The Secret to Weight Loss Isn't What You Think
    Huffington Post
    For example, if you're constantly saying, "Weight loss is too hard, it never works for me," then you could shift that into, "I'm excited about the commitment I've made to get healthy and happy. I'm already in gratitude for the shifts that are headed my ...



    WOODTV.com

    Start now for weight loss surgery this year
    WOODTV.com
    Dr. Paul Kemmeter, a weight loss expert from Mercy Health Saint Mary's says you need to start now if you want to get surgery by the end of the year. Insurance often mandates six months of a physician-supervised diet plan. Many patients may have ...



    Gastric Balloon Fills Stomach, Leads to Weight Loss
    Medscape
    WASHINGTON, DC — An intragastric balloon system is an effective and safe addition to lifestyle interventions for promoting weight loss in obese patients, new research has demonstrated. And weight loss is preserved even after the device is removed ...

    and more »


    Huffington Post

    What Is Saxenda, the New 'Blockbuster' Weight Loss Medication?
    Huffington Post
    There is a new "blockbuster" weight loss drug on the market, Saxenda, and it is available in many U.S. pharmacies this month. It is perhaps the most important weight loss medication ever developed. Novo Nordisk Inc., a very big and very old Danish ...



    CBS Local

    Weight Loss Camps Rising In Popularity
    CBS Local
    PITTSBURGH (KDKA) – A local woman, whose teenage son was overweight, decided she wasn't going to let him go through life that way. Her solution was to send him to a weight loss camp. As it turns out, more and more kids are willingly going to those ...



    Al-Arabiya

    Is your scale not budging? Tips to break the weight loss plateau
    Al-Arabiya
    Everything is going great. You are eating right and staying active. Suddenly, the scale will no longer budge, and you are about to give up. You may have hit a weight-loss plateau: a frustrating yet normal period when weight loss slows down or stops ...

    and more »


    The Inquisitr

    Honey Boo Boo Weight Loss Of 8 Pounds Praised By Mama June As 'Here ...
    The Inquisitr
    Honey Boo Boo is a weight loss winner. Mama June praised her daughter on Instagram, revealing that the 9-year-old lost eight pounds while the matriarch of the now-cancelled Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is proud of her 45-pound weight loss, reported In ...
    Honey Boo Boo Weight Loss: Alana Lost 8 Pounds, Mama June Lost 45 With ...Celebrity Health & Fitness (blog)
    Honey Boo Boo: Weight loss of 8 pounds praised by Mama June, who sheds 45Examiner.com

    all 10 news articles »

    Google News


  • Advertisement



    Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us

    Copyright © 2006 Luminati Inc. All rights reserved.